What should I do with my life?

[Star844]

I’m 37. I spent my late twenties and early thirties very ill. I had psychosis 5 times and was in hospital five times.

I’ve been fine for two and a half years. I’ve just bought a car and getting driving lessons and am starting quite a good job next Monday.

I’ve been single most of my life and also haven’t been mentally stable enough to have a child when I really wanted it.

I’m considering being a single mum by choice. Unsure how long I have to wait. Thing is because of my health the longer I wait the more I’m secure of being stable.

Would love to have a boyfriend and have a family the usual way.

Should I just make peace with maybe not having kids and see what happens? If thinking of becoming single mum how long should I wait?

I don’t know if I have good advice but I didn’t want to read and run. I’m so glad your health has improved and wish you luck with your new job and your journey

Nowadays you can safely deliver a baby in your fourties. If you’re planning on being a single mum I would use a donor embryo so you will only need to deliver a baby, so your egg count and quality don’t truly matter.

I would continue with medication for a couple of years and then wean off to see how it goes without it. You don’t want your symptoms to come again while you are pregnant or even later in your motherhood.

Do you have a good support system at home in case something does happen health-wise?

Just because you are 37, doesn’t mean you cannot find love and a partner. I wouldn’t necessarily look for him, but get out more, go places where you can find a good one. ❤️ Maybe love is just around the corner!

Thanks I’m glad my health has improved to.

Yeah I have a good family support system and some friends.

I think I’ll be staying on meds a long time as I’ve relapsed when trying to get off meds.
It’s cool women can have babies in forties. I really have a yearning to have own biological child so will probably freeze my eggs soon. I need to stop smoking for three months to do it.

@lilrosemarie

Nowadays you can safely deliver a baby in your fourties. If you’re planning on being a single mum I would use a donor embryo so you will only need to deliver a baby, so your egg count and quality don’t truly matter.

I would continue with medication for a couple of years and then wean off to see how it goes without it. You don’t want your symptoms to come again while you are pregnant or even later in your motherhood.

Do you have a good support system at home in case something does happen health-wise?

Just because you are 37, doesn’t mean you cannot find love and a partner. I wouldn’t necessarily look for him, but get out more, go places where you can find a good one. ❤️ Maybe love is just around the corner!

I agree with this re waiting and getting off medication

I wouldn't say life has been plain sailing but I have never had major mental health problems.
I am currently in the middle of a planned pregnancy in "easy" /conventional circumstances (happily married, dh wants kids, my mum is nearby, financially we are good, I'm in good physical health, friends are having babies now too etc.)
Despite all this its been difficult. I fact I was shocked at how mentally tough its been. My anxiety around the baby and anxiety about the lack of control in my life has floored me. I cry multiple times a week and it's been really tough in ways I was not expecting.
I am not trying to be negative but I can't imagine what itd be like without the support network I have.
I think you need to be in a really good place before you start or you risk relapse which would be awful for you and baby.