To anyone who understands,
I am really down and really struggling to smile today. I was two days late….cycle 12 and had started to believe I was going to be giving my husband the best Christmas surprise of baby #2 however last night that daydream was ripped from me with the arrival of AF. I was devastated.
Just now my friend has text to share her wonderful news-she’s pregnant with baby #2, from our conversations I suspect it happened very quickly 1/2 months max. I am beyond happy for her but the timing of that announcement when I was already feeling gutted has just knocked the wind out of me. I remember AF arriving last Christmas Day and although disappointed I quickly got over it thinking it would happen soon enough. I cannot believe a year later and I’m still nowhere near baby #2.
I’ve been to the GP, they did some bloods that came back normal apparently although they’ve never told me what they are. Husband has had a semen analysis which we’re still waiting the results of despite having it done in October. Other than that the GP hasn’t been that helpful. There was mention of a referral to a gynaecologist or ultrasound. He said he’d have a word with a colleague and let me know- that was 3 weeks ago and I’ve heard nothing since. Now can’t get an appointment because covid! I was diagnosed with under active thyroid at the beginning of the year which came as a bit of a surprise, I’d read that NICE guidelines state I should be referred to an endocrinologist given I’m ttc but the GP said there would be no point. I don’t know where else to go or what I can do, I don’t know anyone who has been in this position so have no one that understands where my head is or how much this hurts and my poor husband is trying his best to keep me going but he will never understand how i feel in this moment. I guess I just needed to vent 😢