My DH and I have been TTC for the last 5 months and I've found it difficult to stay positive when every month we get a BFN. I know 5 months isn't that long, and at 30 (me) and 38 (him), are ages shouldn't be too much of a concern. However in the last month I've found out that my sister, who is single, is now pregnant through IVF and my sister in law is expecting her second child. While I'm happy for them both, their happy news has made my disappointment, all the more poignant.
Because my sister is single, she asked back in the summer to spend Christmas at ours and of course we said yes. But now I'm really not looking forward to the holidays. My sister knows we're TTC and that I've been feeling down about the experience. My period is due on Christmas Day and I've asked her to not bring up babies and pregnancy while she's here as I will most likely be dealing with another disappointment, but I know that she will ignore my request and that the time she's here will be full of talk of her pregnancy, and I'll be struggling to get through the day without crying.
Further down the road, I worry that my sister will increasingly want to rely on me for support through pregnancy and her those first few months with a new born, as a single mother. I 100% know that I need to rise to the occasion and put her first, but I worry how it will impact my own mental health and happiness to be so close to someone else's pregnancy, when I'm not falling pregnant.
I've tried to talk to my parents and they just laugh and change the subject. They say things like 'just have fun', 'don't think about it' and 'it can take 2-3 years to get pregnant'. The whole experience is leaving me feeling very lonely and also feeling like I must be incredibly selfish, to want to keep to myself and not get involved in my sister or SIL pregnancies. I've posted this here in the hopes that someone can empathise and in case anyone has any advice on how to overcome these feelings.