I'm not pregnant anymore

[hester]

Well, I had five fantastic, ecstatic, scared, excited days of being pregnant. Then Saturday night I did another pg test (just to show off, and because one was sitting there on the bathroom shelf) and it was negative. Sunday morning I had did two more - both negative.

I went to the hospital, where they did a blood test and a scan. The blood test was positive, but they think it is picking up descending levels of HCG and that I will soon start bleeding. I have to go back Tuesday for restesting - not because they have any real hope that I can keep this pregnancy, but to check that I'm not retaining tissue.

As you can imagine, I am feeling completely devastated.

I am sure this post doesn't really belong under 'Conception', but I wanted my ttc compadres to know.

Hi Hester , I just wanted to send a hug over to you and let you know that my thoughts are with you.

I wasnt sure if it meant that you were miscarring? Silly me. Sorry. Hope you feel better soon. (((((BIG HUGS)))))

No, no, no. So very sorry to hear this Hester. Oh, this has made me so sad for you. XXX

Only just logged on, Hester I am so sorry babe. Cannot begin to imagine what you feel but wish you all the best for the future.

As you say deciding what to do next will be almost impossible but I want you to know we are all here for you, even if it is just to listen xx

So sorry Hester. {{hug}}

Hester, so sorry , lots of love x

this did make me shed a few tears when i read it earlier on

thinking of you Hester, and sending a big hug your way.

we're here whenever you should need us.......

Hester - Im so so sorry. Only just seen this thread.
Kizziex

Just read your thread, really sorry lots of hugs
xxxxxslink

Hester my Angel, no words to describe the sorrow I feel for you and your dp. Loads of warm hugs and all my love coming your way xxxx

Oh Hester honey, so sorry to hear your news - it's our worst nightmare isn't it. However, I guess better that you found out now and know what to expect than suddenly start bleeding and have a major panic! - not that it helps I know!
Thinking of you.

hester deciding how much longer to give this ttc is a difficult one!

I swore that I would give it until I was 41yrs! (I am 41 in 3 days)!!!!!!!!!! now that it is here........I just feel that I should give it another year! this is because I have only been trying for 1 year......So if you are strong enough...I think you should join me!....'the two old dolls back on form' we can do it together!.....come on... take my hand Hester come with me and we will travel this rocky road together {grin]

Dearest Hester, I've just read your news. I am so very sorry for you and your partner. I am sending you a very big hug and all my best wishes for brighter days in the weeks ahead.

Though I realise nothing can really console at this point, Hester - if it helps, I m/c at about 6 weeks after the very first insemination was successful (We'd used the agency MNI for that). We too have given ourselves a time to stop but like you said, the decision gets harder knowing it had worked once.

I have great respect for your courage and your strength on this journey, Hester. Take good care of yourself and keep us posted on what you're doing.

My warmest wishes to you, xxxSweetfudge

Hester,

I'm so sorry to hear your news. There is nothing I can say that will

a) make you feel any better or
b) hasn't already been said.

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and you know that when you feel ready there will be lots of great people here to support you with whatever you decide to do.

oh hester, I've only just seen this. I've not posted on ttc for ages (used to be krocket) as the whole thing has be getting me down but I have been lurking and I saw your news and was really pleased for you.
Poor you, I don't know what to say but it's shit and not fair. Take care of yourself xxx

Hester, you don't 'know' me (am new to MN), but I just wanted to say how very sorry I am. It is awful and I know how you are feeling. A similar thing happened to me in the summer: I had a faint positive on an hpt and a +ve blood test with 140 hCG, but three days later I started bleeding - tested again as soon as I did and it was negative. It was an early miscarriage. My (so far) happy ending, though, is that I got pregnant again 3 months later and am 12 weeks tomorrow! Maybe that can give you some hope for a similar happy ending? I don't know whether this can help you now, but when it happened to me a good friend of mine said to look upon it as a promise, that I can get pg and will again soon. And she was right... You take your time though, look after yourself very well, it is a horrible shock and you need to take care of yourself and not push yourself. Thinking of you. xxx

Hester im so sorry to hear your news but you will get over it in time, i have had 2 miscarriages and now im pg im 12 wks now and so far everything is going fine, i know that does not help but everybody on MN is here for you xxx

Hester - can't tell you how sorry I was to read this, so distressing for you, but it will definitely happen, please don't stop trying - just be as strong as you can, but don't be afraid to be sad too. Wishing you lots of love and hugs
Bibixxx

Hester

Just to let you know that happend to me last year - 5 ecstatic days of being pg and then gone. Had scan to check everything gone which was very hard as it suddenly became real.

6 months later got pg again - am now 37 weeks - it can happen (that was on my second month of charting - thoroughly recommend it)

big hug

Hester I am so sorry to hear your sad news.I can understand a little of how you feel,because I lost our 1st baby after only knowing I was pregnant for just over a week.We had been ttc for 3.5 years.To have to deal with such happiness & then such deep sadness in such a short space of time is incredibly hard.

If it is any tiny bit of consolation,Like Berolina,I became pregnant again very quickly (just 7 wks later) & had a healthy dd.My Dr said that the reason I concieved again so quickly,was that any pregnancy,whether successful or not,has the effect of making you very fertile afterwards.

I hope the sun shines again for you soon.
Love
Mirage

good luck today Hester, let us know how you get on. All fingers are crossed for you hon.

I just wanted to thank you all so very, very much. You cannot know how touched and comforted I am by your messages. They have been particularly precious to me since so few people in RL know, and some of those that do have been saying the usual daft things (my favourite so far, from my grandmother, a woman who started producing at 16 and didn't stop till she'd racked up 11 children: 'Darling, I know just how you feel; I've been there' - well, I doubt that!).

I am bleeding very heavily today and feeling fragile and weepy. Went to the hospital today for blood tests because they think it may have been ectopic; will hear back from them tomorrow.

But I am feeling stronger each day and will soon be back haunting the ttc threads, offering enthusiastic advice whether it's wanted or not, sharpening my skills in armchair expertise . I am now very, very clear that this is not the end of ttc for me; painful as it is to go on, I feel thrilled to have some evidence that I am fertile, and I know that I must give it at least a few more months to see if I can crack this. It felt so completely fabulous to be pregnant - just as it did the last time I was pregnant, 23 years ago - and I would give so much to have that feeling again.

So, once again, my deepest thanks and love to you all. You really are a special bunch of women xxx

((Hester)) glad to hear that you are doing as well as can be expected and that although this has been tough (and continues to be so) you have found some hope.

Look forward to seeing you back around the ttc posts in a while .