Ttc after miscarriage, scheduled sex

[swanswallow]

Myself and DH lost our first pregnancy to a missed miscarriage in the summer. It was traumatic and a massive loss to us both. I feel that the only way I can manage this is with another pregnancy which is successful.

After a long time to get a negative pregnancy test, we have been able to TTC again. Last month was the first proper cycle, which was negative.

I am really keen to get pregnant again, using Ovusense, Clearblue ovulation kit as well as cervical mucus monitoring. I know it is intense. I'm also trying to reduce the amount of alcohol I drink to a minimum. I am trying to use the SMEP.

DH and I both have busy jobs. He needs to have a night away for work once per week and is away for two days. He leaves at around 6.30am those mornings so it tough on him.

DH feels to tired or rushed to DTD the morning he leaves, even if it is an important day. He also has been out with colleagues for multiple alcoholic drinks on occasion when he is away,

We can't just relax and try every second day for example due to his work schedule.

I find this utterly frustrating, and that even DTD at an inconvenient, scheduled time a few times a month (realistically once or twice max) is a small ask depending on the head space I am giving this.

I know I am in a difficult place just now and am not being perhaps the most level headed. DH and I normally have a really good relationship and have no problems in other areas.

Any advice would be much appreciated

I'm sorry about your loss ❤️He needs to understand how important this is to you. If he is on the same page, he will support you. You make a lot of sacrifices and spend money to achieve another pregnancy , so he should make sacrifices as well.

I was in exactly your position at the beginning of this year, had an early miscarriage in February.

I was extremely upset, spent lots of money on clearblue ovulation sticks and supplements, body temperature bracelets etc etc it was really expensive. Finally fell pregnant again in June after having sex five nights in a row 😂 My husband was extremely exhausted and tired, but he went along with it, although he would have preferred sleeping.

Currently 25 weeks pregnant and all going well so far.

I'm sure you will fall pregnant soon again xx ❤️

We just DTD before we go to sleep, pretty much every night. I mean, usually it doesn't take more than 10-20 minutes depending on the mood. Do you not go to bed at the same time? I feel like being busy is kind of an excuse on his part, I am sure he still finds 10 minutes to jerk off in the shower, but he can not have sex with his wife to make a baby?

Thanks for both of these responses, much appreciated. Lovely to hear you are pregnant again Cruise123, stories like yours give me hope.

Yes we do go to bed around the same time, and do have good amounts of sex generally. It's just the very early morning sex needed before him going away for two days that is problematic.

I had a chat with DH following this, including me being reminded by your answers that im not being unreasonable, think we have a good way forwards

Thank you again