Does anyone feel like life is against you having a baby

[Robgem81]

I just wondered if there was anyone out there with positive stories or also feel like they are having a rough time.

I had a beautiful little boy in 2019. Fell pregnant first time trying. Had a great pregnancy. All was well until may 2020 when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Then I started to get palpitations. This year I have had two miscarriages, one of which I'm waiting to be confirmed was a molar pregnancy. And then the weekend I had a hospital admission with SVT!!!

I can't let go of that second baby that i so want. Im not ready too.

Anyone?

Hi @Robgem81 I had secondary infertility too. I had one chemical and 3 mmc late first first trimester. I had ivf to try to find a healthy embryo. I actually think it was my immune system attacking the embryos as I went to an immunes specialist who diagnosed this. I went on a lot of immune treatments and am due to give birth in a few weeks.
With a thyroid issue you are a good candidate for already having an immune response issue. If you can go and get some tests. Gorgy and Shehata ( look on mumsnet about them) can be seen privately or you can get an nhs referral in some areas for Shehata but takes ages to get seen.
It’s a long battle with secondary infertility sometimes but it’s worth doing as many tests as you can and not assume it’s an age issue etc
Are you also on the right meds for your thyroid?

You may also want to look on the infertility boards and post there rather than conception

Thanks for replying. I kind of wasn't thinking of secondary infertility yet if I'm completely honest. I guess I can not rule it out but I think honestly I'm not going to go down the IVF road.

My thyroid is well controlled at present but yeah I have considered this. I'm not sure that a molar pregnancy fits into the immune thing though.

Yup! Over the course of 5 years trying to conceive I was diagnosed with PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids, a blocked fallopian tube, autoimmune conditions and has several miscarriages.
I'm now 38 weeks pregnant so all I can say is keep going and try to stay positive as hard as that is (believe me I know it can be very hard!)

@ElmtreeMama congratulations! Not long to go. Sorry it's been so hard

Hi op. Similar situation, i had my wonderful DS in 2019 and had a mmc confirmed on Monday. TTC again soon.
I hope you are ok 💜

@Mammma91 so sorry to hear that. It's such a shit thing to go through. I hope you are ok x

I don’t think I needed to do ivf , the 4 mcs were all non ivf pregnancies. I just think I needed the immunes for them. The first one harmony test was normal , so perhaps a healthy pregnancy but I’ll never know for sure. I only did ivf as I thought it was bad eggs and I needed to find a good one. Ends up this pregnancy wasn’t even tested for a few reasons.
I would check your immunes

@Smiler79 sorry if I'm being thick but what do you mean by immunes?

So your immune system fights disease and illness. If you get a cold or flu your immune system attacks the virus, bacteria etc and kills it. Often you are left with antibodies which remember what attacked you and are ready next time you catch it.
Unfortunately, sometimes you can over active immunes. That’s why people get things like arthritis, the immune system is too keen to attack and attacks the body itself. Same with thyroid and some skin disorders.
Sometimes (esp if you already have an obvious over active immune system) you body can attack the embryo.
This is because it’s half your husband or partner’s dna. The body thinks it’s the enemy. The first pregnancy is often okay it’s subsequent pregnancies that are affected as the immune system is triggered by the first pregnancy.
Immune treatment helps suppress the over reaction, so it leaves the embryo alone. There are lots of different treatments but main ones are prednisone (a steroid) and intralipids.
You can get your immunes screened to see how active they are before and during pregnancy. Argc do it, Shehata , Gorgy and sure there are others

Little boy in 2018 first time, covid then got vaccinated as secondary teacher and dad lives with cancer so baby plans on hold. 6 months and nothing. Got blood test to check for all and GP on board. Really wanting no 2 as no 1 is so so lovely

@Smiler79 it's something to consider for sure. Thank you for the advice and I'm pleased it worked out for you in the end.

When I said about not doing IVF it's more a I don't want to do it thing than I don't think I need it. Maybe I would if I didn't have a kid already. But I am hoping it's a third time lucky thing and if not then I think we will probably be done trying. But I will look into some testing.

@Fredstheteds sorry to hear about your husband. It must be difficult. I hope things get better for you soon x