How long after a missed miscarriage...

[Acrossthevalley]

1. until your period came? MMC 3 weeks ago, I know it won't be coming yet but I'm finding it very unnerving not knowing what's going on with my body. I've had a couple of days of what looks like EWCM and not sure if this means I'm about to ovulate or it's just what happens after a loss. And I know everyone is different, but wondered if there was a general consensus.

1. until you felt ready to TTC again? I don't feel ready yet, but just had a birthday (late 30s) and don't want to hang around either. Feel very torn :(

1. until you stopped feeling sad? I keep waking up every day hoping to feel less sad but I'm still heartbroken and really struggling with (lovely and kind) messages from family and friends asking how I'm feeling. I can't talk to anyone about this except my DH.

Thanks if you've got this far!

@Acrossthevalley firstly I'm sorry you're going through this, I had a MMC at the end of June and it's gut wrenching.
My period came about 5 weeks after I had a D&C. As for TTC i wasn't ready to even have sex for a while after so just go with what feels right for you. If I'm honest I'm not sure the sadness goes away, you'll always think 'I'd be this many weeks now' etc... you just learn to cope with it abit better. Hang on in there it does get easier xx

Sorry for your loss. Both times mine came around 4 weeks after the day I passed everything. So pretty regular as if it was a normal cycle. No idea if I did ovulate in the middle of that though. I always waited a full cycle to try again but went to it right away. I confess I can't remember how long I was sad after the first one. A good few weeks but not too bad, took me 5 months to conceive. Second one was easier as I knew there was hope (I'd been successfully pregnant in between). Wishing you well.

Thank you both for your messages, that's actually quite encouraging to hear that my period may actually return in a week or two (maybe). And thank you for your kind wishes, I hope things have gotten easier and all the best to you too

So sorry for your loss. I had a mmc in 2019 having seen a heartbeat at an earlier scan 💔.

1. My period came 42 days after my surgical management.

1. I started to ttc immediately, the desperation to be pregnant again was overwhelming. In hindsight, I should have given myself a month to recover more but it's so hard.

1. Honestly? I stopped being sad when I fell pregnant again (my dd is now 14 months). It took 8 months to fall pregnant again so it was a tough emotional rollercoaster. People would ask me how I was (as you do when you get to work) and even months later I'd say, I'm "okay". I couldn't let myself say "good" because I knew I wouldn't be good until I was pregnant again.

I put SO much pressure on myself to be pregnant again before the due date... I wasn't, of course. After that, I set my feelings free and I fell pregnant the very next cycle. My due date was 19th November 2019 and I'll think of my angel 👼 in a few short weeks.

1. 4 weeks to the day.
2. I didn’t use protection at any point after, ttc after first period (and fell pregnant).
3. Until I had my 12 week scan with next pregnancy I felt down every day, I rarely think of it 7 years down the line and I’m no longer emotional over it even when I do.

It’s fucking devastating at the time though, sorry you’re going through this.

Sorry for your loss 💐 I had a mmc nov 2019. Surgery start of dec and my period returned second week of jan so about 5 weeks I think from memory. We took a short break ttc to give me time to recover and wait for an appointment with the consultant (already had a diagnosed blood clotting disorder) so didn't want to fall pregnant again without a plan for the next pregnancy. Used that time to exercise, eat healthy etc so I felt like I was still doing something as it was hard when all you want is to be pregnant again. Started ttc again in March and I'm glad we took a short break. I'm not sure exactly when I stopped feeling sad. I think when I got a positive test was a turning point because your focus/worries/anxieties change again. It doesn't affect me every day anymore but I do have moments where I think oh that baby would be x age now. Baby loss awareness week was also difficult this year as I have a baby now it highlighted more what we'd lost in a strange way and got me thinking about our first baby again. It's early days and I remember being an emotional mess overwhelmed with worry and sadness but it does get better I promise 💐

Sorry for your loss. If it helps I was sad, grieving, for ages and was pregnant 3 months later.

Thanks all for sharing your stories and your kind words. And it definitely does help to hear that periods returned fairly reliably.

@Chanel05 That's really tough isn't it, to see a heartbeat and then not see one. I thought I'd miscarried at 6 weeks as had a big bleed, and when I finally got around to the confirmation scan a week later, they found a heartbeat. We later learnt that the baby probably died about a week after this. I'm so mad some days that I've had to grieve this baby twice, and it sounds awful to say, but I wish it had happened then at 6 weeks. to you too and I will try not to put too much pressure on myself to conceive immediately.

I was afraid you'd say you stopped feeling sad when you got pregnant again but that makes sense! It's been really helpful reading these posts, thank you again and extra hugs if you that was your first pregnancy too. Apologies if that sounds insensitive (just thinking aloud here), and I know it's always hard and it's not a misery contest, but I'm not sure how I would've felt it this was my first one - I already have an 18-month, so if I am feeling sad I still have to look after him, which has definitely helped (and been hard at the same time). Thanks for your hopeful news about subsequent pregnancies too

@Acrossthevalley
So sorry your going through this for your period returning everyone is different can't take 4 to 6 weeks to return, I have had 4 miscarriages and 1 cp ttc number one and my periods returning have all verified in length.

As for feeling sad it comes and goes you never forget but it does get easier to cope with, like today is the day I had my first miscarriage in 2018 and it has knocked me for 6, be gentle on yourself and don't put pressure on yourself do what's right for you in when to try again. And please don't rely on your more fertile after a miscarriage cause it took me a year to conceive after each loss except for my 4th I lost last Oct and fell again in Jan and nothing from it, just telling you that cause when I was told it after losses it knocked me of my feet when it did not happen quick, look after yourself 💐

@Babyghirl I'm so sorry to hear that, so many losses. I hope you got through Wednesday OK and make sure you're kind to yourself as well x