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Conception

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Stress at work and pregnancy

7 replies

Emilie82 · 20/10/2021 08:41

Hi,

I am nearly 39 and would like to build a family. I currently have a very stressful job and I am thinking of changing but if I change job it will delay the pregnancy of 6 months as I don’t want to go straight on maternity leave and need to be eligible to get it. An other option is to stay in my current job to get maternity pay but I’m very concerned I will have issues during my pregnancy due to my age and the fact that I almost burnt out before. Has anyone gone through this? Wondering if a GP can give you a medical note whenever there is too much anxiety going on but that would also affect maternity pay I believe. Last option is to just leave the job if it gets too stressful but then this means a minimal maternity leave. Has anyone gone through a similar situation, I would really appreciate some advise on this. Many thanks

OP posts:
BrumBirth · 20/10/2021 09:03

Whatever you choose I wouldn’t delay TTC as your really don’t know how long it will take.

I had a very stressful job that I didn’t enjoy and probably should have left a long time ago, I wasn’t on my feet but the hours were crazy, often I’d work until about 2am and then need to be back in work for 9am the next day.

I probably could have got signed off with stress but instead after about 27 weeks I used A/L to only work 4 days weeks, having every Wednesday off so I only every worked 2 days in a row. I then went on maternity leave at about 34 weeks as I wanted to have a big de-stress before baby arrived.

Now I’m looking at returning to work and have found a new job whilst on maternity leave. It’s a perfect fit, they know I have a baby and have offered me lots of flexibility. The hours will be so much less than my previous job but the pay will be more. It couldn’t have worked out better.

If I’m honest having a break away from it all on maternity leave was the push I needed to really sort out a new job, I like that I can start this next job a fresh as a parent.

Emilie82 · 21/10/2021 05:39

Thanks for your message. Your job looks very stressful. I’m amazed you held 34 weeks. Isn’t it that you can go on maternity leave 11 weeks before due date so on week 29/30 or do we look at this in a different way? Was there a reason why you didn’t go as soon as you could? We’re you not scared it would affect your child?
Regarding the AL it’s a very good point actually.
When did you start looking for a job during maternity leave (and how did you manage!) ? Thank you!

OP posts:
Miliao · 21/10/2021 07:15

In all likelihood, it may take you longer than 6 months to get pregnant. Anything up to a year is considered normal, and at 39 it is not uncommon for it to take longer. So you could move now and you’ll probably still get leave. I also have a very stressful job, but was not worried this would affect pregnancy, I couldn’t find any research to back that up. Stress can be a factor in trying to conceive though, so you may want to consider that.

Gabby82 · 21/10/2021 07:38

I have a stressful job but I found it much less stressful once I was pregnant and knew I was on a countdown to maternity leave.

BrumBirth · 21/10/2021 09:01

It did worry me that I was damaging the baby, especially in the first trimester when the baby was forming all its parts, but that was before I told work so I couldn’t really do much about it then. Later on in pregnancy my focus was on removing stress to give my body the best chance to birth naturally.

Like PP said I actually couldn’t find any evidence that it would be damaging, my blood pressure etc was always fine (mine is always low anyway) and I always ate well. I was lucky that DH took over everything else so he’d cook most of the meals etc.

I didn’t go on leave sooner because I wanted to help them through the busiest part of the year, which is a bit silly looking back but the 4 days weeks made a big difference and made the whole thing more manageable. If they hadn’t of let me do that I would have got signed off sick and started maternity leave sooner.

I started thinking about looking for a job about 4 months before I needed to go back to work, DS was an age where he’d go to bed at about 7:30 and sleep for a good few hours so I could spend a few evenings putting my cv together and looking for jobs. I was happy to find that my brain still worked!

When I had interviews I was roughly 3 months away from returning to work, so my start date would be the same as someone who was on 3 months notice. I was very open in interviews that I was on maternity leave and I don’t think it put anyone off. I got a job offer from everywhere I interviewed anyway!

It helped that my DH is very flexible with his job though, so when I was given an interview date he could pick up childcare. He has also always spent enough time with DS that neither of us were worried about him caring for him on his own.

If I were you I’d probably have a quick look now for other jobs, see what’s about, if there’s anything you’d especially like to move to. But carry on TTC as normal. If you get pregnant quickly you can make a choice because the different maternity packages vs keeping the more stressful job.

Emilie82 · 24/10/2021 10:54

Thank you very much all for all your answers

OP posts:
LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 24/10/2021 11:15

I would ttc asap and stick with your job unless it has an exceptional crap mat leave policy.

It's actually easier if you decide you plan to leave/your future isnt with the company after mat leave as you can adopt a zero fucks given approach.

I am currently pregnant in a stressful job for a "nice" large company.
I plan to return but decided upfront to prioritise myself and my health.
My line manager will likely have changed when i get back so while he can be annoyed at the inconvenience and hold it against me (& he does!) there isnt much he can do due to company policy and i very likely wont need to deal with it as he'll be gone when i get back.

I have been clear that i am committed to the job but i need flex in my calendar due to pregnancy insomnia and pregnancy related back pain.
I have taken maternity related sick leave when needed, 2 days so far.
And I plan to take what i need.

My biggest challenge really has been managing myself as i am a bit of a workaholic...

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