Career versus baby

[Redheadlondon]

I feel terrible writing this because it goes against EVERYTHING I try to stand for at work for working parents. But…

I am trying to conceive but really worried it will totally derail my career. I’m working towards a Managing Director promotion that would have me settled for life. But … I’m 34 and started to worry if I don’t start now, with some uterus abnormalities and PCO, it could never happen or take years.

Anyone else had this feeling?

@Pinkbonbon

Sod that. Imagine working so hard to get to the top of your career in order to give it up for a baby. I disagree with the other posters personally I would stick at the job. A woman should seek to be financially secure and self reliant before even considering kids. Don't fuck up your personal security. Love yourself first.

But how much security does one really need? How much money is enough for security? I am a nurse, a decent salary but I'll never be rich. My partner brings in about the same. We manage just fine with two kids. Of course if we had more money etc we could have a bigger house etc but our house is a home and our kids are very happy in it. We do a lot of activities... baby classes, weekends out, holidays, swimming lessons etc. They have a good life. We could always want more but we make do with what we have. If me and DH split we could make it work. I couldn't have not had children just incase of this and that. I will make life work for my children. They definitely need a roof, clothes, and food... the rest 🤷🏼‍♀️ only love, security, positive role modelling, etc. They are all free.

@anonamousanne

I'm thinking more along the lines with could she support herself as a single parent if her partner were to leave. If her job is one which would be flexible enough for her to still work and parent. Not so much the about money, more about the ability to still earn it.

I started trying at 29 in 2009, took me one MC, lots of investigations, several failed IUI, 2 operations, more IUI and 5 years later we had our DS in 2014 at the ripe old age of 34

I don't think it has to derail your career. I hope not anyway. I'm pregnant now, we've chosen to do shared parental leave 6 months each, with some overlap also for time together. We'll both be going back full time after and will be sharing sick leave, drop offs and pick ups etc. Others have done this in both our organisations and it hasn't held them back or been perceived negatively.

I think being the default parent or having a partner who isn't willing to take some of the leave and equal share of the pickups and drop offs/sickness can impact your career for sure. So the PPs all saying to make this clear with your partner are correct

@Redheadlondon

I feel terrible writing this because it goes against EVERYTHING I try to stand for at work for working parents. But…

I am trying to conceive but really worried it will totally derail my career. I’m working towards a Managing Director promotion that would have me settled for life. But … I’m 34 and started to worry if I don’t start now, with some uterus abnormalities and PCO, it could never happen or take years.

Anyone else had this feeling?

How did you get on with making your decision? X