3 weeks pregnant after miscarriage 5 months ago (miscarriage was our first ever pregnancy)

[twilight333]

Hi everyone, I m not sure how to even start.. so much emotion and care I feel as I write this. 5/6 months ago we lost our first at 9 weeks.. and I saw the embryo (I was in the bath) this is incredibly sensitive and my heart and soul goes out to the people who have/are experiencing this right now.... I send you love, I send you love

The reason for my post is this... our loss hurt us, and after trying we are now in the position again where we are supposed to be so happy.. instead we have rowed, been overly sensitive, and cutting people off to protect ourselves.
We are 3 weeks at 5 days.... what will the future be... how is life fair, I am happy but I am also scared, any second I can sit and lay still I do, it's me and baby need to protect... I m even shutting out my own mother because of this intense feeling of fear. I need a place to talk and be completely honest... and this is the best place for me , I don't think my post even makes sense!

Hey @twilight333, so sorry about your previous loss. It sounds like it was a deeply painful, even traumatic experience for you. No wonder you are both on edge this time around. It's understandable that you want to protect the baby in any way you can as it grows.

A couple of things to suggest. Firstly, you and your partner are going to need each other in this journey - pregnancy is not always easy and your lives will change dramatically when the baby comes along! So see part of your "doing your best for baby" as working hard at your relationship now - take time to communicate well, share your feelings and fears, make time to do fun stuff and relax together. You want this baby to come into a happy, loving family unit, so put the time in together now.

Secondly, there's very little that anyone can do to prevent or cause early miscarriage. It's awful and painful, but it is generally just bad luck. The more pressure you put on yourself, the harder it will be if, god-forbid, anything did happen with this pregnancy. It's not your fault. It wasn't your fault. You can't "achieve" a successful pregnancy, it will just happen. So, take sensie care and precautions, folic acid, stay off alcohol and drugs etc. But don't put the weight of preventing miscarriage on your own shoulders; its not down to you.

Thirdly, you talk about the intensity of the fear you're feeling and how it's cutting you off from other relationships. This suggests to me you might benefit from some counselling to talk through the trauma of the previous loss, and help you cope with this pregnancy. There will be uncertainties and anxieties all the way through, and a bit of professional help to equip you to cope well with them may be really useful. Why not talk to your midwife when you have your booking in appointment? Your mental health will be a priority for them.

All the best, hope it's a smooth ride for you and you have beaitiful bouncing baby in no time at all!

i lost my first via miscarriage, had two kids but lost my 3rd at 22 weeks, it was heart wrenching and was only found via a scan. So next pregnancy was so stressful, i had early pregnancy scans, a CVS test as we were high risk and came back fine...the entire pregnancy was stressful with me worrying at every stage.

You cant control your feelings, you shouldnt have to. I hope for you that this pregnancy continues

Hi thank you for your replies xxx I am so grateful. I am 6 weeks today and I have been up and down, today the reality hit me that it's quite lonely the pregnancy journey... had a wobble today very hormonal and moody it's good to talk, I am so grateful I have a place to talk
Here! My previous pregnancy I was so excited to go to the hospital for the first time, and even the thought of a scan... but this time around I dread both of them.. the first and last time I had a scan I saw my dead embryo... horrible, it was an amazing moment but also so heartbreaking, so I absolutely dread the hospital in a few weeks and the long wait for the 12 week scan! I know I might sound stupid .. this is the second time
I have ever been pregnant, not sure if anyone is going through the same thing, or has been... it feels good to write how I feel and maybe help someone else out by them knowing there are others who are suffering in silence xx