Quick conception first baby but longer with the second-positive stories please!

[newtolineofduty]

Hi ladies, so I'm currently TTC baby number two after having my DD almost three years ago. We were so lucky to get pregnant straight away last time and whilst I was expecting it to take longer this time (I'm now 36) I'm starting to get a little anxious that something may be 'wrong' given that we got pregnant so quickly last time whereas this time we've been properly trying for four months with OPKs etc but had no luck.

I started my period today and I guess I just need to hear some positive stories to perk me up a bit to reassure me it doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong and that it can still take time for perfectly fertile people to get pregnant! I'm aware four months isn't long but we're only two months away from the advice to speak to a GP etc and the stats about two thirds of couples having got pregnant after three months etc have got me down! Sorry for my ramblings and thanks in advance for the positive energy! xxx

I’m another - fast conception first time, loooong wait for the second who was eventually born when i was 37, more than 18 months of trying.

He’s nearly 6 now and very much worth the wait, and the wider age gap is actually lovely.

@Sunshinedaisybuttermellow ahh hun. It’s hard isn’t it. Every month I’m like there another month older. When I never intended on this gap but hey such is life.

Fingers crossed for lucky number 5?! I’m on CD7. So a way to go as yet 🙄🤣

@JassyRadlett what age gap do you have hun?

Ttc is so weird isn’t it. I swear I’d you fall first time your almost not lucky cos you think second time it will be as easy an quite often it isn’t. We’re set up to fail 🤣🤣

DC1: Fell pregnant first month of trying (I was 22yo)
DC2: Fell pregnant during the 5th month of trying (I was 24yo)

Mine are just over four years - not what we’d planned but unexpectedly great in so many ways.

DC1 - I came off the pill, had a withdrawal bleed and got pregnant straight away. I was 26.

DC2 - came off the pill 2nd Jan, finally got a bfp on 27th Dec. I was 31/32.

Thank you so much everyone for sharing! I'm feeling so much more positive now and what I've taken from people is that TTC is unpredictable and not everything has an 'answer'! I just need to be patient and not think of the worst case scenario!

@CleopatrasBeautifulNose yes we eat well and exercise and take all the vitamins etc x

In terms of age gaps @Indianna2006 we have a 5 and 7 year gap between my DD and DSC and they play together wonderfully! I like the big age gap-makes it all much easier too! X

Sending love and luck to all those currently trying xxx

@Indianna2006 I know, I wanted around a 3y age gap really because of childcare costs, but delayed trying due to covid. Now every month I'm a month older and so is dd so the gap gets bigger.
I'm hopeful for this month but we shall see.

Good luck @Sunshinedaisybuttermellow. Are you in the lovely (horrific) 2ww now! X

@newtolineofduty not yet, due to ovulate on Monday, so fertile window starts today. We're away until Friday so dtd a lot at the moment. I'm hoping I ovulate early then we will have done well with covering the window. My cervix is very high, soft and open today so 🤞🤞🤞. Otherwise will have to try and fit some in once home.

When do you usually ovulate? Still AF for you?

Don’t give up hope, I was 38 and only did the deed once that month, I’m now 39 and 27 weeks, don’t give up hope xx

@Sunshinedaisybuttermellow yes CD3 for me! Usually on day 14 but was day 11 last month randomly so need to keep with the OPKs! X

My first was easily conceived, but my second took over year! It was awful and nearly broke me. But we didn't give up and the month my ovulation date would give us a New Years Eve due date we thought fuck it and went for it anyway, which gave us our second DC.

After all the trouble DC2 took, we decided to halfheartedly try for a few months without actually trying to see if we would have a DC3 or not since we couldn't TTC fully again and certainly couldn't let it go on more than a few months. Well I got pregnant 2 times in 3 months(one was an early loss sadly). Fertility isn't a straight line down like you think, it can go up and down.

Thank you for sharing @NotQuiteUsual and sorry to hear about your losses-I definitely think the fuck it approach is the way forwards! X

1st 1.5 years
2nd 2 months
3rd 4 years

3rd was that hardest I tracked ovulation like crazy it was only when I stopped tracking everything & I put myself on iron tablets and took folic acid everyday 3 months later I was pregnant.
That's not to say that's why I got pregnant but I do think it definitely helped.
Don't give up.

Thank you @bigbeatmanifesto! You're not the first person to mention iron so I'm going to get my levels checked as I've been deficient afew times before! It's amazing how many people say they conceived as soon as they stopped trying! X

Ds1 was conceived within about 8 weeks and ds2 took 15 months!

Such a difference @shouldistop! Can I ask was there anything different between the two periods of TTC? Xx

I was a stone heavier and suspect my thyroid was a bit sluggish (other symptoms like heavy periods, sparse eyebrows, tired, brain fog etc). I ended up looking up supplements to take for thyroid health and took them the couple of months before conceiving but I don't know if that's what helped.

Thank you @shouldistop xxx

@Sunshinedaisybuttermellow I’m due to ovulate Monday too. Seems we’re circumstance and cycle twins lol!

@Indianna2006 oh it's good to have a cycle buddy! However my cervix is very high, soft and open and I've just had some egg white cm so maybe sooner. I kind of hope so as it would mean we have very good cover tbh. I'm not doing any kind of proper tracking as we are away at the moment so won't know for sure.

Does anyone else find their partner less up for dtd during fertile week? He's fully up for it just after my period, and seemingly pretty much as soon as I've ovulated, but is always tired or not in the mood during fertile week. I don't tell him when it's fertile week so there's no "pressure" as such, as he definitely wants another child but it's strange. We seem to dtd alternate days all month except for fertile week when it's like once.

Hehe @Sunshinedaisybuttermellow yes my DP deffo seems to be horny at the wrong times!!!!! I've started to tell him when it's my fertile week but don't tell him which day is ovulation day to try and reduce the pressure as he definitely feels it and it's affected his 'performance' a couple of times! I tried to keep it to myself totally but I struggled to not tell him it was my fertile week given I wanted to do it more etc! 😂 x