TTC no2

[Dorys2021]

Hi guys, I'm looking for some reassurance please . I am currently TTC no 2 and am about to enter month 4 (I'm 38). I fell pregnant with my first during the first month so I think I naively thought it would be easy this time around. I suffered really badly with postnatal anxiety after my first and it has taken me a long time to feel ready to try again (I was adamant I wouldn't have another). Frustratingly now I have gotten my head around it I'm feeling impatient! I have days when I am desperate for another and other days when I wonder if I will cope. How have you guys found having a second if you struggled with your mental health after the first? Did you suffer with the same symptoms? I'd love to hear some positive stories please 💖

@Dorys2021
Hi can’t comment on the MH aspect after having a second but can totally relate with you.

We are ttc no 2 and just entered into cycle #5. I have a DD who is 3.5 years. I had a very traumatic birth with her. Lots of complications afterwards for a very long time. Long term pelvic girdle pain. Issues with my pelvic stability. And so we thought a second was never an option due to my health. I suffered ptsd after her birth. And it’s taken a lot of pushing for my health to be better and hard work on my side to get in a place where we are now ttc.

So much bigger gap that I had ever if wanted. But I’m so impatient too. I just want it to happen as I wished I could try for so long and couldnt.

I’m keeping fingers crossed it won’t be much longer wait for me but who knows.

😔 frustrating. I hear ya 💗

Praying for a more positive experience this time round as my MH needs it!

Hi ladies

I have a 3.5 dd too @Indianna2006 like you traumatic birth and took an awful long time to be able to dtd again, let alone ttc.

We had gone for the if it's happens it happens (ie sex when we feel like but not contraception). But now I'm in the tww I'm getting impatient too! 🤦‍♀️ I worry about being older and that affecting things.

Funny isn't it how we can not feel like it for so long and then when the decisions been made want it straight away!

@Dorys2021 sorry to hear you have struggled with mh. Been in that dark place and do worry about it returning if we are lucky enough to have another. Mine wasn't baby related but happened at that time and scared about it being triggered again.

Virtual hugs to you both

@Indianna2006 I know exactly how you feel. When you finally get yourself into a place where you feel ready you just want to get on with it don't you? My little one is nearly 2.5 and I would have dearly loved to have been pregnant by now but it wasn't meant to be. I'm keeping everything crossed for you that this is your month xx

@countryred thank you so much. I also had previously struggled with my MH. It seems being postnatal triggered a relapse for me. I'm on meds now so hopefully it will be a lot easier a second time. As you say it's a scary unknown isn't it? I have my fingers crossed for you this month xx

Well i didn’t struggle like you did, but I did struggle a bit on the general parenthood front. My first son was/is my biggest dream come true and is the love of my life! However I still found parenthood tough for the first 12 months. I loved sleep and I always slept 10 hours a night and then suddenly I was running on 4 hours sleep… it took a great toll on my mental health. Sleep deprivation is a method of torture in jails and I finally understood why. Anyway I was feeling very guilty as I had thoughts that I don’t want a second baby despite my whole life thinking I will have at least 2! Suddenly everything changed at 18 months when my son moved to his own bedroom and started sleeping though the night. I felt like I was myself again! And suddenly I became myself again wanting to have more kids:) I’m now due baby number 2 in 3 weeks :) we are over the moon and couldn’t be happier. So you may be feeling this way now but it will get better I’m sure

@Elisemum thank you for sharing your story. Being a mum is so tough! That's so exciting for you, hope you have a beautiful and safe birth.