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Original poster

2 children...or 3???

13 replies

BabyOzzy30 · 08/09/2021 09:25

This is my first ever post on here,
I'm a mum of 2 kids (b5) (g2.5), I've always wanted 3 children and after 2 terrible births I decided I won't have any more... but the idea of the 3rd child I always wanted comes and goes constantly, we started trying a few months back and I wanted a baby so badly.. found out I wasn't pregnant and now really don't want another one. But in a weeks time I will want another another baby again... it's driving me mad!!!
not really sure what I'm asking... parents who went from 2 to 3 kids... how hard was it to juggle? Thoughts??

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 08/09/2021 09:28

I went from one to 3 and it was bloody hard 😂

Things to think about. How big is your house? How big is your car? Lots of things - holidays, family tickets etc and discounted for a family of 2 children. What's your job/career situation? How old are you?

I think if you keep flicking between yes and no, wait. Write a list of pros and cons. Think about what impact it will have on your lives. How eager is your DH?

Mommabear20 · 08/09/2021 09:29

I only have 2, but I firmly believe, you regret the things you don't do more than the things you do. I can relate with the terrible births as my second was awful, but that but is temporary, the beautiful baby at the end is for life. I'm dying for a third but DH is done at 2. I respect his decision and will not force him into having a child he doesn't want, but I know I'll forever wonder, what if?

Good luck with whichever decision you make ❤️

LovelyFishy · 08/09/2021 12:36

I’ve been wondering this for a while myself…so glad I’m not the only one, everyone else seems to know exactly when they’re fine or not! It changes week to week, it’s always on my mind…

Original poster
BabyOzzy30 · 08/09/2021 20:50

@SleepingStandingUp

I went from one to 3 and it was bloody hard 😂

Things to think about. How big is your house? How big is your car? Lots of things - holidays, family tickets etc and discounted for a family of 2 children. What's your job/career situation? How old are you?

I think if you keep flicking between yes and no, wait. Write a list of pros and cons. Think about what impact it will have on your lives. How eager is your DH?

I found the transition from 1 to 2 hard but now they're abit older it's getting easier. I am lucky in the sense I run my own business so can be flexible with work, have a big enough house, I can tick a lot of pro boxes if you know what I mean but still having a niggle. My husband is definitely on board and desperately wants to but he had terrible depression after the second was born and I think that's where my apprehension may lie (the fear it may happen again!)
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Original poster
BabyOzzy30 · 08/09/2021 20:51

@Mommabear20

I only have 2, but I firmly believe, you regret the things you don't do more than the things you do. I can relate with the terrible births as my second was awful, but that but is temporary, the beautiful baby at the end is for life. I'm dying for a third but DH is done at 2. I respect his decision and will not force him into having a child he doesn't want, but I know I'll forever wonder, what if?

Good luck with whichever decision you make ❤️

Completely agree with you there! We only regret the things we don't do! Smile
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Thatsplentyjack · 08/09/2021 20:55

I had 2. I always wanted 3 but we decided to stop at 2 (boys) for a few reasons. They were 12 and 6 when I accidentally fell pregnant with the third 😂. She is the best thing that ever happened to us (apart from the other two kids). She just completes the family. Problem now is though, she's been quite a good baby and sometimes I think I could just have another one 🤣. We definitely won't though and the reason this time is my pregnancy and birth with her was the worst of the lot. Couldn't do that to myself again.

Newbabynewhouse · 08/09/2021 21:00

I mean personally I wouldn't... but that's me... I think 2 is a nice number as they have company and it means u pay for 4 people when buying packages away etc.. less money to spend... I have also heard something like a third child birth can sometimes be the most difficult (don't know how true that it and not claiming to be medically trained) but id say, if this is true, if you have had 2 difficult births then maybe this could be even worse? Sorry if that's a bit of a shit comment

Thatsplentyjack · 08/09/2021 21:02

I remember when I made the decision not to have a third though. Like final that's it, no more, definitelynot happening. I burst into tears and sobbed for about 20 minutes because it just felt like there was something missing. I knew I would regret that decision later down the line, but there were so many things stopping us.
I do feel done now, and I'm so glad she is here. I can say definitely no more without crying 🤣

stormelf · 08/09/2021 21:20

We always wanted 3, decided when pregnant with second that we would stop at 2 (long history of miscarriage). We had a boy and a girl and everyone said that it was the perfect family. When my youngest was about nine months I started to want a third again
Dh wasn't so sure but we decided to try for six months to see what happens. If it happens it happens if it doesn't then we wouldn't regret not trying if you see what I mean. I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with number 3 so was obviously meant to be

Original poster
BabyOzzy30 · 08/09/2021 21:31

@stormelf

We always wanted 3, decided when pregnant with second that we would stop at 2 (long history of miscarriage). We had a boy and a girl and everyone said that it was the perfect family. When my youngest was about nine months I started to want a third again Dh wasn't so sure but we decided to try for six months to see what happens. If it happens it happens if it doesn't then we wouldn't regret not trying if you see what I mean. I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with number 3 so was obviously meant to be
Awww congratulations! What's the age gap between them all going to be?
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Original poster
BabyOzzy30 · 08/09/2021 21:34

@Thatsplentyjack

I remember when I made the decision not to have a third though. Like final that's it, no more, definitelynot happening. I burst into tears and sobbed for about 20 minutes because it just felt like there was something missing. I knew I would regret that decision later down the line, but there were so many things stopping us. I do feel done now, and I'm so glad she is here. I can say definitely no more without crying 🤣
Awwww what a lovely story you have! Do you feel like even now it's hard to say you're 'done' even after 3? I'm not sure il ever feel done even if I have the third!! We are currently 'trying' this month and I've started saying to my husband if it doesn't work this month (3rd month of trying but I usually get pregnant first month of trying!) that we will stop trying. He thinks I've gone mad I think haha
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Original poster
BabyOzzy30 · 08/09/2021 22:53

@LovelyFishy

I’ve been wondering this for a while myself…so glad I’m not the only one, everyone else seems to know exactly when they’re fine or not! It changes week to week, it’s always on my mind…
It's so hard to know exactly what you want, how old are your kids now? X
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stormelf · 09/09/2021 07:59

@BabyOzzy30 there are 2 years 2 months between my dd and ds. Then there will be exact 2 years between ds and new baby. We weren't expecting to conceive as quickly as we did this time round

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