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Original poster

Do people really do this????

25 replies

Mommabear20 · 01/09/2021 18:24

DH and I are on different pages about having a 3rd DC, I want another, he doesn't. He has explained his reasons for not wanting anymore and I respect them even if I'm not happy about them.

I was talking with a friend about this recently and she casually said 'well just stop taking your contraception! He'll never know!' 😳

Do people actually do that?? Wtf?

I could never do that to him or the child but clearly some people do 😮

OP posts:
IWantT0BreakFree · 01/09/2021 18:36

Well yes, some people do that. It's a big old world. There are people who do all sorts of things.

Bundaberg84 · 01/09/2021 22:14

I personally know someone like that, so yes. Do I think that's a good idea? Definitely no.

Haggisfish3 · 01/09/2021 22:15

Yes they do. I never would and would never encourage someone to.

SukonthaM · 01/09/2021 22:16

Of course they do it. There are also men who poke holes in condoms to get unwilling partners pregnant

ActonSquirrel · 01/09/2021 22:17

Of course there are. Im on the pill is the oldest one in the book.

I'd never do it though. As if an unwanted child is going to be a positive impact on a relationship

ActonSquirrel · 01/09/2021 22:17

*not going to be positive

nc5698 · 01/09/2021 22:18

Yes.

I know a woman who was casually dating a guy. She pricked a hole in his condoms with a safety pin so she could get pregnant.

Lou98 · 01/09/2021 22:22

Loads of people do it - doesn't make it right though.

I was the child of a parent who never wanted me, it felt awful - I would never do that to a child, it isn't fair on them

Juno231 · 01/09/2021 22:43

Hahaha my FIL suggested I do it to his own son cause he wanted grandkids and OH wasn't on the same page yet 🤣

ShiningGonnaShine · 01/09/2021 23:08

For a very long time my DP didn't want kids whereas I did. I can't tell you how many people (friends, family members, colleagues, near strangers etc) over the years 'advised' me to do this. I found it astonishing. Still do. So, yeah, I think it's probably incredibly common.

PumpkinKlNG · 01/09/2021 23:09

You can’t be this naive? Of course it happens

PepsiHoover · 01/09/2021 23:10

I know of someone who had an "accident" on the pill. Despite being pretty lax in taking it myself with plenty of stomach bugs etc I didn't have an "accident" in 15 years. Hmm

LizziesTwin · 01/09/2021 23:11

My MIL told me to get pregnant so DH would marry me. I didn’t take her advice.

Mumwithapub · 01/09/2021 23:15

Another one that some people say is " I can't get pregnant/shooting blanks! Yeah right.

Original poster
Mommabear20 · 02/09/2021 03:55

Apparently I've lived a very sheltered life 😂
I know it happens in tv shows etc but honestly never imagined people could be stupid enough to do it for real 😳

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 02/09/2021 06:31

Of course people do that. People also murder, steal, you name it they do it. It’s very naive to think everyone is honest and a decent person.

ActonSquirrel · 02/09/2021 06:39

I think pretending to be on contraception happens more in marriages or longterm partnerships.

Because doing it with someone you don't even live with is risky. Extremely so. If it's done to try and get commitment there's no guarantee it will happen.

Probably quite common in longterms but they're hardly going to tell you.

home2012 · 02/09/2021 06:55

A friend of mine did. Openly complained how broody she was, how sad she was her dp wasn't ready for kids (they where only 25). Well low and behold they had an "accident". No one believed that including the dp.

In fairness to him he stuck by her and the child. He is an amazing father, but a terrible partner. He resents her and it's obvious to see.

I have no doubt that as soon as that child has grown up he will leave.

Haywirecity · 02/09/2021 06:59

There are people on these threads that advise other people to do it. Even people who've said they did it and their husbands are grateful to them now. 🤔

ActonSquirrel · 02/09/2021 07:22

I have no doubt that as soon as that child has grown up he will leave.

Or sooner probably.

namechange7865 · 02/09/2021 09:26

It isn't consensual sex if someone does that.

MatildaIThink · 02/09/2021 09:28

Yes unfortunately they do, there are women who are psychos about this just as they are men who similarly poke holes in condoms. Unfortunately everyone does not come with a psych writeup, although it would make things a lot easier if they did, or at least with warning stickers!

ActonSquirrel · 02/09/2021 09:58

@namechange7865

It isn't consensual sex if someone does that.
It is.

It isn't rape Confused

namechange7865 · 02/09/2021 11:10

@ActonSquirrel

How is it consensual? If your partner is providing consent to sex on the proviso they are protected from pregnancy and/or STDs and you are deliberately deceiving them without those protections they haven't consented to the type of sex you are offering. I would argue that is not consent, call it what you want, but it isn't consensual sex in my opinion. We are hearing about it more in the form of "stealthing" where men remove condoms leaving women vulnerable to pregnancy.

nottssvss.org.uk/consent-coalition/campaigns/removing-a-condom/

DuckDuckGooses · 02/09/2021 11:12

My BILs partner did this. Together less than a year when she got pregnant - she'd been telling everybody she'd be pregnant before me (she's a few years older and was just out of a LTR, I'd never met her before). My DH spoke to his brother who said don't worry, I know she wants kids but she's on the pill it's too early. She then told her friends she'd stopped taking it that's why she got pregnant (and it got back to me). I was shocked!!

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