Too old for a baby?

[Moodee02]

Hi.
I have a daughter from a previous relationship who is 17.
My fiancee and have been together nearly 10 years and have been discussing having a child together. He would be an amazing dad. I'm 38 and he's 41. I just feel like sadly our time has passed.
Anyone else been in the same boat and can give me any positive lovely advice?
Thank you x

I haven't been in your situation but honestly these days 38 isn't old to have a baby. No harm in trying if you both want to.

I've not been in the same boat but I don't think at 38 you are too old. If you are happy to return to parenting a young child again then I don't see why not! Good luck.

I’m 38 and pregnant. I’ll be 39 when I have this baby. It’s an entirely normal age to have a baby here.

But it’s a personal choice. You feel like you might be too old. It’s worth figuring out why. Do you feel like the local parenting groups are focused at younger mothers? Is it the thought of starting over? Do you anticipate grandchildren coming along in the next few years and feel you’re entering the grandparent phase of your life? Are you hoping to retire early or travel now your child is almost an independent adult and don’t want to give that up? If you can figure out why you’re uncomfortable it will help you make a choice.

Not too old, as long as you're still getting a period every month and ovulating then you-are able to make a baby. Your fiance is also still fertile at 41 so better to do it sooner rather than later if you both know that's what you want. My husband is 42 and I'm pregnant with his first baby. I'd say go for it.

You are still young, go for it.

Normal age

I don't think it's too old to have one, depends if you would like to live a child free life or not, but if you want one go for it. A family member is engaged to a man who has 2 teenage children from a previous relationship, been together 2 years md 30's and they have decided they have good finances nice house etc and don't want children now, more content with moving to a nicer house, getting a dog and holidays and fair play to them I think in this day and age you've got up until about 43 as a woman to change your mind

Not at all too old @Moodee02!!

I have 3 children with my ex husband, and then met my partner.

Im 8 years older than him and he has no children.

I am 39 and due baby any day now, my partner is 31 and will make the most incredible father.

It took me longer to fall pregnant at this age than it had done with my previous pregnancies (my youngest is 7 so I was only 32 at the time).
I fell pregnant within 2 months of ttc with each of them, whereas this time we started ttc when I was 37, and it took 16 months of trying. I was 38 when I got pregnant and turned 39 during the pregnancy. We did have 4 miscarriages along the journey which were heartbreaking, and were referred for fertility tests just to check there were no issues, which there weren’t.

But I’m so thankful we stuck at it as we get to welcome our baby together this week!

For what it’s worth I’ve often felt like one of the younger mums when sat in waiting rooms, so many women having babies into their 40’s these days, and I’ve never been made to feel too old or like I shouldn’t have got pregnant!

Good luck!

Are you both in good health?

If so it's really not too old. I know quite a lot of people who have had children in their 40's.

I had my first when I was 35 and will be 38 when I give birth to my second. Took 2 months and 3 months to conceive. I have lots of mates the same age having babies too. It's totally normal amongst the people I hang out with, the vast majority of friends my age with kids have only had them in the last few years. Think previous poster has some good questions- what is it that is making you feel uncomfortable? Can imagine if all of my mates were done and dusted with babies in their 20s I would maybe feel a bit self conscious and unsure how it would affect my relationships to have a newborn when they were living a different lifestyle to me.

Had my last baby at 40 and wouldn't have been an issue having one a bit older too. They're all nearly grown up now and really, there are no issues at all with having a child when you're older. If anything, I'd say it's better when you're 40 than when you're 20.

I had twins at 37 and would like one more around 40 so no 38 isn't too old - I guess maybe the dynamic of having a sibling nearly 20 years older would maybe make me think twice though? Would you want to have another so that the baby has a sibling?

Definitely not too old! Go for it!

Do you want to go through everything child related again would be my question rather than are you too old

Thanks everyone.
I think my main worry is the huge age gap and I've always been a "young mum"
I really appreciate you all taking your time to respond xxx

I’m 39, husband 43. Second baby due in next few weeks. If it’s what you want you should go for it!

I recently had my first at 35 and hope to have another in a few years so definitely not old or unusual nowadays

38? Totally normal.

I was a young mum at twenty two, had my last dC a month off my thirty fourth birthday and can't say I was any more tired with him than with DS1.

I thought you were going to be well in to your forties from the title of this post.

Well you’ve already been a young mum, now you can be a little older mum :) 38 is absolutely fine and a normal age in my cycle of friends. I had my first at 36 and now second one due and I’m 38. Absolutely normal age

I personally would say too old, but then there are a lot of older parents around now.
I would think it’s more of could you be arsed with the teenage years when you are in your 50s