Trying to conceive

[WJK00]

I need to some advice please as I feel like I am in an awful place mentally right now.

My and my partner started TTC end of last year so I came off the pill end of October all excited. I Fell pregnant beginning of feb which ended in being an ectopic and right tube removal in March. Fell pregnant again end of May which ended in a mc at 6 weeks in June

I feel so lost. I never imagined TTC would be this hard. I feel alone. Everyone around me seems be announcing pregnancies every single day. I don't know how to cope with this?

I'm jealous of every single pregnancy announcement and I'm so bitter about it. My ex partner announced his gf of 6 months is expecting at the exact same time I was going through my ectopic and I can't help but think it's just not fair and why an arsehole like him can have it so easy I am always so paranoid of being an 'older' mum. I always wanted a baby at 25 and I know it doesn't always work out that way but every month it gets to me that I think 'oh I will be at least this age when I have a baby now'. We are just so ready for a child and it's just not working out.

I know I sound crazy but I just can't shift these feelings. It's awful. I really try and stay positive and not think about it but every month around AF is due all my feelings come down on me like a ton of bricks.

Hi @WJK00!

I am so sorry you'll have to go through that all. I know how nervewracking the whole process is and your feelings are all very valid. It seems so unfair, right?
The thing is that we don't see the journey everyone around us had to go through. The more I talk to women around me the more I realise that their pregnancy journey was mostly not easy. But most just don't talk about it - why would they? I just imagine if I get pregnant, I wouldn't tell everyone "yes we're happy, but we had XY miscarriages on the way here and I had to remove my right tube" - I would just be happy to share the good news.
I also totally feel you about your ex and his girlfriend. But just look at it that way; be happy that it's not you who has his child. That's how I look at it. Unimaginable!

Sending you a big hug, let all your feelings out and don't feel bad about it. We've all been there! XX

This is so true , I’ve not spoken to one woman who hasn’t had a least one mc or ivf - when I’ve revealed what I’ve been through.
You won’t hear the truth unless you reveal what you’ve been through. Many people keep their hardships hidden, same as mental health issues are hidden.

@WJK00 so sorry to hear about what you're going through, we had 3 mc's before we were successful, it really is so common. Google the sperm meets egg plan (SMEP), it works every time for us. Follow it to the letter x

@WJK00 Hi, firstly I'm so sorry for your loss about what you've been through so far ❤️ That must've been incredibly difficult for you.

You're right, TTC seems like such an exciting time in your life before you start that journey and of course for some it continues to be that way which is lovely! But sadly for many others there are a lot of low points and grief involved; I didn't fully understand it until I sadly lost my wee boy later on in my pregnancy last summer.

I completely relate to how you feel - I've had periods where I feel I can barely cope with pregnancy announcements. My sister and sister-in-law have also had babies since I lost my wee boy which was hard - I made the cake for and attended a baby shower that originally was also my own baby shower jointly with my sister-in-law. All these things are so difficult and so I understand your feelings.

What sometimes helps me with the announcement is the knowledge that so many others have felt like I do and so when I see an announcement I remember that they too might have struggled to get to that point, and how lovely it is that they're finally where they want to be...and then I look forward to it being my time too.

This is a good place to come and have a wee rant or a moan, we all understand so use places like this and just be good to yourself. Your time is coming! 💕💕

Also @Bundaberg84 can I just say that I've come back onto this forum after a wee break and in just about any thread I've been on, I've see the most kind and helpful messages from you to so many women on here! I don't know if it's been brought up before but if not I just wanted to say that you are clearly a wonderful person from all the lovely, supportive messages I've seen from you to other women on this :) I hope you're well and that everything works out for you so soon if you're also on a TTC journey just now 💕

Wow @KerryW87 thank you so much, that means a lot to me!