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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

IM SO FED UP

17 replies

emmalou1234567 · 09/08/2021 12:00

Hey ladies
I'm feeling really disheartened today...
Although I am so so happy for my friend but she's just got pregnant after her first try and then my husband and me have been trying since December with no luck....
I've got the clear blue monitor at the moment and on my second month of using that...
I know I ovulate as last month I was high on the machine and then went peak...
I'm just so fed up of being disappointed every month... I honestly feel like it's never going to happen for me :(

I don't know who to talk to or what else I can do!
I'm 30 and husband is 29 we're healthy etc.

OP posts:
fairgame84 · 09/08/2021 12:07

I feel you.
We've also been trying since December and so far 5 colleagues have got pregnant in that time and we're nowhere near. My blood tests are normal. I'm trying to persuade DH to have a sperm analysis but he's reluctant due to cultural reasons and wants to wait a bit longer. Tbf even if his sperm analysis was bad we wouldn't qualify for fertility treatment and we can't afford to go private at the minute so there's probably little point in him doing it.
I've given up with opks and poas as it's a waste of money. I'll only test if af is at least one week late now.

Original poster
emmalou1234567 · 09/08/2021 12:51

Oh I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this too! It’s just so heart wrenching isn’t it! I haven’t undergone any fertility tests yet but that’s the next step I just didn’t want to have to go down that route…..

OP posts:
unicornpower · 09/08/2021 13:26

Sending lots of love, i could've written this myself last year-My advice is to try not to think about how quickly other people seem to fall pregnant, quite a few take longer than that, they just don't admit it. It took us a year to fall pregnant which sadly ended in a loss and it was a further 7 months after that until we got our sticky one and currently 34 weeks.

Don't lose hope, chances are it WILL happen for you both, its perfectly normal for it to take up to a year or more. The month we caught I genuinely had given up hope (i know that sounds cliche) and it was over Christmas so i was drinking loads and eating like a piglet and had stopped using OPKS for a couple of months. Its crazy but it did work.

Sending you so much love as i totally get how you're feeling x

Chanel05 · 09/08/2021 15:51

@emmalou1234567 I understand your feelings! On month 8 I had completely given up hope. I then fell pregnant that same month. Unfortunately, I had a mmc and it then took another 8 months to conceive my now daughter. Statistically, you're overwhelmingly likely to be enjoying an alcohol free Christmas as a pregnant lady.

SareBear87 · 09/08/2021 16:46

I hear you...
Trying since Dec 2020, 1 CP and nowt else.
My best friend is 21 weeks pregnant on her first go. I've lost count how many colleagues and other friends are now pregnant.
Even a group chat on here I joined pretty much all the girls are pregnant and having scan chats.
It is literally soul destroying.
I've given up with OPKs and early testing, it's just making me poor and miserable!

Irishgirlsaz · 09/08/2021 16:52

@emmalou1234567 hey, I’m new to the group and I feel exactly the same way as you so I completely understand how stressful and disheartening it is as each month passes. Sending you lots of love. I have been trying since November with no luck yet :( and have watched many work colleagues get pregnant, and three weeks ago my sister told me she’s pregnant with her third! My husband and I have had the fertility tests done and all was fine which was weirdly more annoying!

I was thinking of trying of the SMEP method this month as a few friends have been successful. Have you tried it? Smile

ChewChewPanda · 09/08/2021 17:09

I know it doesn’t feel like it but 7 months is honestly not that long. It took me just over a year to get pregnant with my daughter - I don’t think there were any medical issues (none that we know of anyway, and the pregnancy was fine). So I do understand how you feel - I felt the same way at the time. But if I could go back I would tell myself to worry less in those earlier months and to give it time. I hope you get your BFP very soon.

DeeDee20 · 14/08/2021 09:16

Hi ladies, can I join. Having a very bad week it feels. I just don’t know how to get out of bed anymore. Been trying over a year, test shows low sperm count n now think husband is feeling the pressure. Opk show peak and he just can’t right now, its a bit much for both of us and I can’t help but think he’s wasting a month.
Everyone seems to be pregnant and I just can’t hide it anymore. Just feel like hiding away from it all. The bad days are getting longer.
Thank you for listening, it feels so heavy on my heart

fairgame84 · 14/08/2021 21:18

Hi DeeDee
I'm having a wobble today. Yet another colleague has announced her pregnancy and af has arrived today so we're on cycle 9 now Sad
DH is at doctors on Monday to arrange a semen analysis.
Colleague A has told me I need to be on fertility supplements as I'm only taking folic acid. I've looked at supplements but don't know where to start as there are so many.
Colleague B has said I need aspirin but my gp has already told me not to take it as I don't need it.
Colleague C has told me I need a positive mental attitude towards it. Apparently if I convince myself it will happen then it will.
I feel a bit lost with it all. It just feels like it will never happen. Every month I start so positive and tell myself this is the month and then I'm gutted when af arrived.

Don't think of it as a wasted month, just a little break. If dtd isn't fun or enjoyable then it's not right to force yourselves because it will feel like a chore. We've said all along we're not robots and if we're not in the mood then tough, regardless of where I am in my cycle. I stopped doing opks for this reason as it takes the pressure off.

Nobody ever tells you how hard all this is Flowers

RoseGold24 · 14/08/2021 21:29

I'm the same, can't bear to hear about other people getting pregnant anymore I just feel so fed up by it. Especially if it's their first month ttc! Annoyed at myself for being bitter.

FakeTanandProsecco · 14/08/2021 21:41

I'm feeling the same. We've just got to a year of TTC and nothing Sad. In the past few months I've had 6 friends/colleagues announce first or subsequent pregnancies. It's hard.
I've ordered a Day 3 fertility test thing so just waiting for AF so I can get that sent off.

SemiFeralDalek · 14/08/2021 22:05

It's shit.

We've been TTC since December 2019 🙃
3 losses. The most heartbreaking is the loss of DS2 at 21+4 in November 2020. 1 chemical in January 2021. 1 MMC at 9w (never progressed past 6w) last month. When I knew from 5/6 w that something wasn't right.

I can find myself getting incredibly bitter at about 12/13 dpo. I avoid other people's pregnancies and baby news (especially those who were due at the same time as DS2).

I don't think I'll ever be the same again, the idea of pregnancy is horror filled, numbing and fear inducing. But I can't imagine not keeping trying.

KerryW87 · 14/08/2021 23:42

@SemiFeralDalek Just read your experience with this and had to reply as we are sadly quite similar. TTC since November 2019, lost our son at 18+4 in July 2020. Nothing since. We're now onto cycle 14 after AF arrived today and honestly the heartache is all-consuming sometimes. I'm also terrified of another loss or dangerous labour but can't see us ever wanting to stop trying either!

TTC can be very lonely so just wanted to message incase it helps you feel a bit less alone. I'm so sorry for your losses and I hope it's your turn very soon ❤️

Lilyandra · 15/08/2021 16:10

Hey can I join too :)
Took us a year to get pregnant, which ended in miscarriage at 6.5 weeks. Now on second cycle TTC and I keep thinking about how many weeks I should be and it's painful mentally trying to get pregnant again.
It's so hard, when I was younger I never realised how torturous TTC is.

Original poster
emmalou1234567 · 15/08/2021 17:33

Hey ladies
Thank you for all your comments - I've been trying to reply to everyone but can't work out how to do it as I'm new here!

It's Honestly so mentally hard this TTC I wish this was taught at school rather than putting a condom on a banana! But in all seriousness I hope you ladies are okay, thank you for commenting!

I really don't know how to use this app properly but if anyone is up for it I would love to make a WhatsApp chat (that I can use) to maybe share tips etc so I don't feel so alone on this TTC journey!

If anyone wants my number and to create a group chat let me know xx

OP posts:
KerryW87 · 15/08/2021 17:50

@emmalou1234567 You're so right, it takes such a toll on you! Definitely helps to have other people who know what it's like ❤️

I'm happy to be in a WhatsApp group, it's 07449950695 :) x

Original poster
emmalou1234567 · 15/08/2021 18:08

I'll message you now kerry! Anyone else feel free to messsge me and I'll pop you in the chat - 07707685987 (just tell me your username so I know you're not someone scary haha) x

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