Your experiences of ivf?

[LeavesOffTheCactus]

Hi all,

Name changed for this one.

I’m thinking of starting IVF soon and I want to be as prepared as possible. I’d love to hear your experiences - particularly anything that could help me to prepare myself emotionally. I’m feeling anxious about the whole thing. Like what if it doesn’t work. And i think if I don’t go in with my head sorted then it’s more likely not to work, if that makes sense. How did you feel through the whole process? Any tips for not getting super stressed? How much time off did you take in the cycle months?

Thanks in advance.

I had IVF in May, and depending on what protocol you do it’s really not as bad physically as I was expecting it to be, the injections are pretty easy to administer and not painful. I had scans every other day starting from CD6 to check follicle development, and then once we were ready (day 12 I think it was) we did our trigger injection and had eggs collected 36 hours later. My workplace was really understanding and with Covid I am WFH anyway so I didn’t take time off for any scans, but I booked the day of egg collection and the next day off. It was quite straightforward until egg collection but from then on I found it quite difficult emotionally because there’s nothing you can do and you just have to see how things play out, it’s difficult to feel so helpless. We only got 4 eggs and only one fertilised properly for a day 3 transfer so I felt like it was all or nothing on one embryo; in some ways it was difficult to manage my emotions but in other ways the pressure was off because it didn’t matter what I did, it would either work or it wouldn’t. For me, the main thing you can do to prepare yourself is to have a really strong and supportive relationship because when you’re having a wobble and there’s nothing you can actually do to make it better, they’re the ones who are there to help you deal with whatever happens next. Sorry if this is a bit rambling, happy to private message if you have any particular questions or just want someone to talk to. Good luck 🤞😊

i'm sharing this not to put you off, but this was what happened to me. i found it easy in the beginning but then hit a wall suddenly. even though we went private with a well known clinic, the brilliant women of MN were more of a lifeline than the nurses advice when i needed help and practical tips.

the load of hormones and miscarriage left me severely depressed for about 12 month and it was hard work to get better with therapy.

the clinic presented all the ivf options like a spa menu, nobody talked about the side effects of the insane amount of meds pumped into me. it feels a little crazy in hindsight how it was all presented. When I asked the clinic if I should take off work they were like, "no, why?" which created the idea this procedure being a walk in the park.

so i didn't take off time for the first embryo transfers - which didn't result in pregnancy.

I then took time off, fell pregnant but sadly it ended in miscarriage.

So my advice would be:
take time off, as much as you can.

create a support network who you check in with, i slipped slowly and quietly into depression - btw the depression started before the miscarriage.

for me the whole process was still worth it as now i can be at peace with a childfree life, because I know I tried, met my limits and realised no more trying is ok for me.

It works for a lot of people I know, I hope it will for you too!

I found ivf much less stressful than ttc naturally. We've been ttc for 3.5 years and had multiple losses and I was at breaking point, so to hand over responsibility to the professionals was what I needed.
It's weird to think you're injecting yourself and the initial one takes a bit of building up to, but once it's out the way, my confidence grew. I was at my clinic every other day for scans. I have low amh so we never were expecting big numbers, so knowing that helped with my expectations and I had to make a conscious decision to trust the process.
Egg collection was absolutely fine, the sedation is lovely and I wasn't aware of anything. I worked during stims (am wfh anyway) but from egg collection I had that week off and that was good for me, to recover as I was a bit sore but getting the fertilisation call and day 3 updates were really anxiety inducing, so I was glad not to have to be OK for work after. I walked a lot and rested which helped me.

Embryo transfer was magical, don't overfill your bladder. I'd been to the toilet and hour before and not drank anything but they could see I needed the toilet so said to let some out (?!) but I have a tilted uterus so need the bladder to be less full.

Sadly my round ended in a chemical pregnancy so I'm doing further tests before we embark on a FET as we have 2 frosties.

Please don't think you have to be totally positive otherwise it won't work ❤️ there us a really supportive infertilty board on here too with lots of people going through various stages of treatment.

Best wishes xx

You see, OP, everyone is different. I found it was easier to cope emotionally and mentally when I didn't tell anyone and not take time off work, unlike the previous poster. My first round ended in miscarriage which was heartbreaking, and everyone knew we were doing IVF, there was constant talks about it, the process, the results etc. All done with the best of intentions but I found it took over my life and every single conversation with anyone was about that. Everyone convinced it would work and there was no place for negativity. From my part, it was more being realistic that there's a fair chance it may not work and no, I didn't always feel like being positive but I felt immense pressure not to give those thoughts place which built a huge pressure.
So next time around, only DH and I knew, we didn't tell anyone and it was so much easier to deal with. I could go to work and switch off, didn't have to dread friends and family messaging to see if there were any news - again, done with the best of intentions and I'm grateful, but it was very hard for me mentally to constantly having to talk about it.

The shots, the scans, the injections, medications. These are daily things. It's easy to get wrapped up in them and realise suddenly that that's what your life is all about now so if it doesn't work, the crush is more intense. So my advise is - if you are anything like me - don't let it take over you life. Stick to your daily routines, do your hobbies, manage the drug side effects, look after yourself and be kind to yourself. Most importantly, DO IT YOUR WAY! Whatever feels best for YOU and whatever you are most comfortable and happy with. Good luck

First time around I took a long weekend off after egg collection and a couple of days after embryo transfer. Then had a week off after my early miscarriage. I hardly had any time off for FET as it was a much easier process, only had one day off after embryo transfer. Didn't take any time off for scans as these were always before work hours (6,7,8am).

I had IVF in 2019.

Short protocol so 11 days injecting, egg shared so donated half my eggs at the same time. Had a few days off after egg collection ( freeze all due to number collected and risk of OHSS ) and then chose to have a week off after transfer Honestly expected it to be a horrendous experience after hearing tales from other people but found it absolutely fine. I dont have an issue with needles so that bit was okay, bit of a sore tummy from bruising after a week of injecting. One of the medications made my stomach itchy for a bit. Pessaries were annoying and messy.

Thank you all - I am really grateful to have received all your replies.

Next question if you’re comfortable to answer…. We have unexplained infertility. Everything looks fine except sperm morphology that’s a little on the low side but brilliant on everything else, so our Dr thinks it shouldn’t stop natural conception. We also have a child that we conceived naturally a few years ago. I’d love to believe we can conceive naturally but it’s been a year now and I’m not pregnant. We’ve had no treatment whatsoever.

If you were in my position, would you go for IVF or would you try a little longer? Also is there something I should try first? My Dr suggested IUI but I’m put off by the very low success rates and high cost. Other than that, I’m not sure what the options are other than IVF, which I’m finding really scary.

Thanks in advance

IVF is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Not physically, but emotionally.

And not at first. It’s all exciting at first. It’s after repeated failures that it gets hard. I had loads of time off work (teacher), more time after traumatic losses and work made their displeasure clear.

I eventually had a miracle (and I do mean miracle) baby and decided not to do IVF again for a second as the stress would impact my
parenting of miracle baby.

If I hadn’t had him I’d have kept going until I died, though. And I don’t even mean that hyperbolically.

Hi OP, I’m on my third IVF pregnancy after 2 miscarriages, having decided last year at the age of 42 to just go for it on my own. I’ve approached it with a ‘prepare for the worst but hope for the best’ mentality, which has served me pretty well so far. If you can get any counselling, it helps if you’ve dealt with all the emotional questions like “what if it doesn’t work?” before you get started. If you’re going private you’ll get one session included before you start any treatment but you can get more. Whatever you decide to do, I would recommend reading ‘It Starts With the Egg’.

Hi there!

I guess I am still at the excitement / overwhelmed stage since I am at the very start of my IVF journey.

Unfortunately, I cannot answer most of your questions, but I would like to tell you that it helps if you focus your energy and mind in one specific thing about IVF.

At least it helps me, I am focusing only on the very next stage and not on the whole thing so much. If it fails, I will know that I went out trying (I know it sounds very "getting ready for a battle" and maybe not really mature, but this is just my process atm)