My period is starting, feeling so low :(

[Keeptrying7]

I have been TTC (secondary infertility, DH has very low sperm count) for 2.5, nearly 3 years. And this month my period was a week late. That never happens!

I couldn’t take a pregnancy test as I’m in a holiday cottage with friends, and couldn’t sneak off to the pharmacy.

Not taking a test was both good and bad for me. Good = not wasting money. Bad = I am never more than a day or two late, so I let myself get carried away

But I have just started spotting brown and very light pink, so that means it’s over. I’m 41 now. It really feels over. It really feels impossible.

I am due to see a fertility clinic in September, but I don’t think I can live with this constant disappointment every month. I find it hard to not think about getting pregnant all the time, but perhaps I need to just admit that I’m too old and let it all go.

I didn’t want to read this and run away without commenting. I’m pretty new to the forum but your story is so so similar to mine.
DH and I have been trying for over 3 years now with just one chemical back in 2018. We started with investigations just before the pandemic hit so all was put on hold for 18 months and our health board are abysmal so still waiting for things to restart.
I really get what you mean by just wanting to give up as the constant cycle of getting your hopes up only for your period to start is crushing. Especially when you think you’ve worked your body out, you know your symptoms and your cycle then it chucks in something new, or a late period just for giggles. And coupled with the never ending stream of thoughts about pregnancy, or cycles or symptoms, it’s draining isn’t it?
I know September must feel like an age away but at least it’s a date in the diary you can work towards and it’s the next step on the road, you will feel so much better once you’ve had that appointment and you can get a plan in place.
I know it seems hard, but when I’m having spells when it’s all getting too much, I know it’s time for a month off, a bit of a break and a chance to not think about counting days all month.
Anyway, long winded reply, sorry! It’s the first time I’ve posted on here but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone! x

Hiya, I'm 42 and have had 7 losses in 3 years after easily conceiving my 3DC years back. I really hope yours isn't a loss and instead just implantation bleeding. X

MrsJones25 you’re so right! Thank you for your reply! I read it in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. It really is crushing, isn’t it? Like you said, I think perhaps I should take a month off from thinking about it all!

I hope you get your appointment soon? Or a BFP!

@Meme69

Hiya, I'm 42 and have had 7 losses in 3 years after easily conceiving my 3DC years back. I really hope yours isn't a loss and instead just implantation bleeding. X

Thank you, I’m sorry to hear that. That is so, so rough - all those losses.

For me this time, its definitely a period or maybe a very early loss, as I have clots (which is unusual, but not impossible for me).

@Keeptrying7 I think period is on its way today, so going to try and call the hospital this week to see if there’s anything moving for investigations again.
I think we’ll be taking a month off on august as well, time for a mental break I think. I hope it brings you a bit of respite and September gives you some answers so you can move forward.

@Meme69 I’m so sorry to hear about your losses x