Calling OAPs ttc#1 - 35+ reaching through six month mark

[Eli707]

Hey - thought I'd set up a thread for anyone in the same boat. Read quite a few threads but wondered if anyone was up for more specific moral support?

I'm 38 and reaching the six month mark of ttc #1. I'm about to make an appointment to see my gp but feeling quite scared about where that leads and how long that's going to take.

Feel like I've thrown everything at this having made the decision to have kids quite late. Came off the pill in January (after 19 years, mostly on Cerezette) and feel like my cycles settled fairly quickly - 27 day cycle, 11 day LP - but am worried they'll tell me I need to wait longer because of that even tho they say six months is fine at 35+ to go see someone.

I could rabbit on for longer but I'll wait to see if I'm just talking to myself or not 😂

Hey! Mind if I join? I'm in almost the same position as you, stopped the pill late Dec, no hint of a bfp to date... Considering calling the doc next week but don't really know what to expect either. I'm 35 TTC No1, DH is 40.

26 day cycles although my LP seems a bit on the short side at around 9 days, sometimes 10 so worry if that may be a problem!

Are you taking any vitamins? Will you give your doc a ring and see what they say? I will if you will!

Hi @RugbyGirl1
I've been taking the pregnacare conception vitamin since we started trying and had DH taking the one for men too. I started taking Evening Primrose Oil too in the lead up to ovulation last cycle and had a 13 day LP instead of 11 - not sure if that was the reason for it as was taking it to improve EWCM which has been pitiful! How about you?

I think 9 days LP is pretty much the minimum for success from what I've read so might be worth looking into.
I made an appointment yesterday after creating this thread but soonest appointment with a female gp was 16th Aug! My usual gp is male but didn't really feel comfortable going to him and thought I'd be more likely to be fobbed off by a man.

Where are you at in your cycle? I'm CD3 and usually ovulate around CD16. I'm tracking BBT and using CB OPK. Feel like I've thrown everything at this and got nowhere - I'm normally quite laid back about life but this is starting to get me down now.

I know exactly what you mean - I've gone full throttle too - CB OPKs, BBT charting, vitamins, reading up far too much on the internet.... glad you managed to get an appointment @Eli707 even if there is a little wait, hope time flies for you! I'll ring mine later today and see what they say.

I'm CD4 today and ovulate around CD14/15 so we're cycle twins! I've found BBT charting really helpful although I'm a bit conflicted as to whether it's confirming ovulation. I've done a couple of at home blood tests and neither have shown above 30 for progesterone which is what they like to see to confirm ovulation has taken place but I do get a clear temp rise. How do your charts look? Did you fall back into normal cycles quite quickly after stopping the pill? Low progesterone could be causing my short LP but I don't think the doctors are keen on recognising short LPs as an issue.

I'm taking a full cocktail of vitamins, surprised I don't rattle when I walk haha! B complex, C, D, EPO (until ovulation), vitex, seven seas conception, magnesium, vegan omega 3 (as I'm vegan!) and ubiquinol (to help with egg quality due to age). I also seed cycle and add something to my cereal every day although the name of it escapes me atm. Have you read 'It starts with the egg'?

Likewise, I don't think I've ever had EWCM but I do get fairly watery CM which I've read is still fertile. I've not noticed EPO helping yet...

It is disheartening to see BFPs month after month but I think we're still within the 'normal' ranges for the time it's taking. Just wish it would hurry up! I know everyone says just relax and it'll happen but that's not overly helpful sometimes. Have you told anyone you're TTC?

Apologies for the essay!

@RugbyGirl1 my last cycle twin got a BFP last cycle so you may be in luck! 🍀 😂 Let me know how you get on making an appointment - TWW is quite normal at our Dr's and I'm getting used to those now anyway!

It took about 7 weeks for AF to show up after stopping the pill but has been regular from then on. I think I had an anovulatory cycle in May which my friend Google told me was normal after I panicked! (CB went from flashing smiley to empty circle on about CD14 followed by temp rise and AF a few days earlier than expected.)

Found tracking BBT fascinating and have learnt so much about my body that I didn't know before. Charts seem to look normal so hadn't looked into testing progesterone and not sure I'd be able to test my own blood! I bought cheap OPKs first and never seemed to show LH rise but not sure if I was using the at the right time - only really have time first thing for faffing around with it which is why I liked the CB.

I feel like I should be rattling too! Along with prenatal and EPO I'm taking Vit D and Omega 3. Looked at vit B but thought there's probably enough of it in the prenatal one. I've just started reading It starts with the egg. Have a feeling I'll be adding to my list once I've finished - only just got onto the section about vitamins as I'm still getting over my horror about BPA (which I'd heard of but had not idea was such a big deal - never eating tinned tomatoes again!) and phthalates. Think this book is going to end up costing me a fortune! I read The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant which was really good and easy to read.

This is only my second month taking the EPO so not really noticed a difference in EWCM - was getting some very briefly and not always in sync with ovulation. I think last month it was in time with ovulation but didn't last long at all (a few hours) at a time when we weren't able to DTD anyway. Have started using PreSeed last cycle too which I really don't like but if it does the job I'll put up with it.

I've told one friend that we're ttc but I haven't seen much of her because of restrictions and she lives quite far away. Desperate to catch up with her properly and talk but not been able to since I fist told her. She's great for moral support but she's got three kids she conceived quite easily despite having pcos and thyroid issues so not great on the advice front - she jokes about her DH having super sperm! I think if anyone asked I'd tell them but it's not easy to bring up in conversation. I think the girls at work are suspicious as I've not been drinking on a few occasions we've met up. Tried to cover it up under the guise of trying to lose weight but not sure I've succeeded! Have you told anyone yet?

I know it's rational to say take it easy, relax but I'm concerned that I just don't have time for that. I'm trying so hard not to become obsessive about it all and think I'm managing to keep that on here rather than passing my worries onto DH. I would like to have started ttc about 3 years ago but we had loads going on with family and it just wasn't the right time.

Eeek - just seen how much I've written! Apologies!

Heyup, I didn't get a notification of your reply so sorry for the late response!

I rang the doctors, booked in towards the end of August so even longer to wait! I had the option of a general male GP or the specialist fertility female GP who only works part time so went with the latter, hence the longer wait I guess.

I've not read 'it starts with the egg' but heard good things about it (apart from the cost of all the vitamins and replacing plastic tubs it recommends haha).

I've not told anyone we're TTC but like you if it happened to come up in conversation but it's not usually a well talked about topic. Shane about your friend being so far away, hope you get to catch up soon

Ive had a really weird AF this month, sorry if TMI but it was way longer than usual with bad cramps that I usually don't get. Since coming off the pill I've generally had quite light AFs for 3 days or so and a bit of spitting just before she shows. I've had pretty regular cycles too like you since coming off the pill which is handy.

Have you had a covid jab yet? Did you notice any effects? The home blood tests for progesterone etc is just a finger prick, fill up a small vial then send it off in the post for analysis. I've done a couple now.

Sooooo glad it's the weekend! Pretty sure I'm out this month before it even starts though, DH is working away for the next few weeks and I'm due to ovulate next Friday! Relaxed approach this month - no point worrying about DTD when I can't...

Ha not spitting.... Spotting!

@RugbyGirl1 - just wrote a post and lost it at the last minute!! So annoying!

'It starts with the egg' is great and would highly recommend. I'm going to start ubiquinol, vit c and e for now. The info about chemicals is quite frightening and I'm going to make changes to thing I use like cosmetics and toiletries not just plastic.

It's good you have a specific fertility gp - I booked online and the bios on the practice website didn't say that anyone had any specialities. Let me know how you get on.

Had a funny cycle after first jab but that could have happened anyway. Had 2nd jab 2 weeks ago and all seems fine. CD9 today so fingers crossed it stays like that.

How many high days do you get with CB opk? My first high day is usually CD6/7 with peak about CD15.

Don't worry about TMI - it helps to share. My AF is very similar to yours. Sometimes I worry mine is too light - pretty sure it was much heavier pre-pill an I know I had worse cramps before but that's not really come back. Do you think that's an age thing?? I'd definitely mention it to your gp when you go tho.

Hey @Eli707 hope you've had a good weekend! I've done an 8 mile walk to clear the head and seen some family which has been lovely. It is annoying when you lose long posts grr.

I'll buy the book, thanks for the recommendation. I tend to use natural body washes, shampoos etc and try and reduce my plastic use but I'm sure there is lots more in the book that could help! I've found ubiquinol to be pretty expensive but if it's going to help it's worth it I guess. Where have you bought it from?

I tend to get my first high flashing smiley around CD9/10 then my peak around CD15. I use cheap OPKs too after my peak CB smiley to sort of follow the peak. From my BBT readings I ovulate the same day as my CB peak. Not sure I'll bother with OPKs this month what with DH working away, will just DTD when he's back and if it works, it works

Yep, same, I worry that my periods are too light, and perhaps the lining isn't thick enough to sustain a pregnancy? Without scans etc I don't think they can tell for sure. I'll mention it at my GP appointment, along with spotting that I get fairly soon after ovulation (6-7 days or so). Not sure I'll mention the at home blood tests - can see them perhaps not approving of them haha! What are you expecting from your GP appointment? I reckon we should be sent for day 3 and day 21 bloods as a starter / minimum?

Hey @RugbyGirl1 8 mile walk sounds great - we love walking too. There's a forest near us where we often go and make all our major life decisions while walking. We've been away this week so has been nice to be somewhere different.

Had a strange experience with the CB this morning - have had flashing smiley for 3 days but this morning when I put the test strip in it flashed up to look at the instructions (which I didn't have with me) - so just change the reader as I'd been using it a while. Seemed and started flashing away with the test symbol then the instruction symbol appeared again. Decided it was the test strip that was faulty and so tried another but didn't really have a lot of urine left in me by then. Came up with an empty circle. Hoping will be ok when I test again tomorrow. Has that ever happened to you?

Struggled to find the ubiquinol so have ended up getting it from Amazon - going to start taking it tomorrow.

No idea what to expect from gp really as is a phone consultation to start with - still not letting people in if they can help it. Haven't asked DH to make an appointment but I expect that's coming next too. Tbh I'd rather it was an issue with me as I think it would affect him more.

Hey @Eli707, love the sound of your decision forest - we're lucky to have such amazing areas of natural beauty on our doorsteps. Somewhere to go for peace and quiet and tranquility. Hope you've had a good time away!

Hmm no it's not, but I think when you use a new reader the first reading will always be a blank circle as it needs to baseline your hormones. Hopefully tomorrow you'll get a flashing smiley again and know where you are with it all. Although I said I would have a relaxed month, I may still use CB just to be sure. If ovulation was late this month for whatever reason then I may still be in with a chance.

I bought my ubiquinol (and most other vitamins) from healthspan. I'm not actually great with taking tablets.....

Know what you mean re hoping the problem is with me. DH isn't the best at organising things, getting stuff done etc. At least if it's me I can sort everything out and get on with progressing things. I'm sure we're both fine though, it just takes time. I wish someone had told me earlier how long it may take though. It's funny, at school they made it sound like it was a sure thing if you had unprotected sex. At least they got their messages across!

@RugbyGirl1 had flashing smiley again today so all good!

Does your DH work away a lot? My DH used to be away 2-3 days every few weeks pre-Covid but foreign travel isn't happening at his work at the moment so haven't had to contend with that until this week - he's away tonight and tomorrow but shouldn't be too detrimental as don't think I'll ovulate until Thursday.

I really wish I'd realised how long this might take - you're so right, at school they made it sound like it would be so easy!! I spent my teens and 20s worrying about getting pregnant. We then decided that it wasn't for us and we were quite happy with that. Then we started losing parents and suddenly this biological clock starts thundering in my ears. That was about 3 years ago but with everything going on it just wasn't the right time to start trying til now. I've never felt that need to have kids before and now I'm so scared that we've left it too late.

Ah good, glad the flashing smiley returned @Eli707! I started CB OPK this morning so got the usual blank circle, still expecting to ovulate Friday but a day or so late would be good this month! You should be fine for Thursday then fingers crossed!

Try not to be worried or scared. There are plenty of success stories on here of 'OAPs' getting BFPs - we'll get there I'm sure. It's funny how life changes. I always wanted a big family and nothing more to be a mum, then work kinda launched and I had opportunities to build a fairly solid career, study, get chartered etc. Just didn't feel mentally ready really either, then I remembered I was 35 and should probably get a move on! My DH was a little unsure at 40, he didn't want to be an old dad but he'd be a wonderful dad

Nah DH doesn't usually work away much anymore, a few years ago he was but it's all local work now. Have you been working throughout lockdown / Covid? DH had a few months on furlough, have to say, I was a little envious!

Do you drink alcohol whilst TTC? I've just poured a glass. Have cut down massively this year and abstain completely during the TWW but otherwise, the cheeky glass keeps me sane!

@RugbyGirl1 we've both been working from home since the start of it all. Starting to have odd days in the office the last few months. I was furloughed for a few weeks near the start when everything was a bit uncertain but I'm in the middle of an MA so I never stopped working really.

I've definitely cut down on alcohol generally and don't drink during TWW. (Although I did drink every day when we were away last week!) I love a beer so have been drinking alcohol free ones.

I used to be a teacher so I had kids in my life nearly everyday and didn't realise how much I would miss that when I left - which was also a few months before we lost my mother in law. I don't think I could have done that job and been a mum too - I gave everything to it and those kids. I'm not the kind of person who can do half a job either and so doing both would have finished me off ( although tbh the job on its own nearly did that!)

I feel the same about DH - I don't think he realises what a good dad he will be. I think the idea has definitely grown on him since we started trying and since he lost his own dad last year.

So confused by what my body is doing this cycle. CD14 - flashing smilies since last Thursday (CD6) still flashing today (static smile on CD14 last cycle) and temp has been high yesterday and today - didn't worry about it yesterday as slept badly, but again today although probably slept even worse last night. Was ovulating previously on CD16 but had hoped I'd managed to bring it forward with the cocktail of tablets I've been taking.

Keeping fingers crossed you you having a later ovulation

Had another dodgy test strip this week (but kept urine this time so was able to retest with one that worked) so contacted CB who I think are going to send me a replacement box. Very happy about that as they're SO expensive!

Hey ladies, just popping in to contribute any knowledge.
I would advise to go private and not gp/nhs route as it takes forever! I did my fertility check privately and realised I was (at 38) not in a good spot - low amh, follicles, increasing fsh. I then did ivf.
So advise is don’t go the slow route as when you’re older time isn’t always on your side.
I advised my two friends the same and both did ivf - after one ivf , one has two kids now and other is pregnant after couple years of ttc with no luck.
I took all vitamins in it starts with the egg. Apparently, another good book is beers - is your body baby ready.
I took wheatgrass once a day as supposed to lower fsh . Avoid dhea unless you test testosterone and dheas and find they are low.
I did a low carb and high protein diet. Cut out alcohol for me and dh ( was painful!)
Took most parabens out - makeup, perfume, drank water out of glass bottles only !
I have a frostie on ice and in second trimester after fresh transfer. Fingers crossed 🤞

Thank you @Littlemissnc - that's really helpful. At what point can you go private? Do you need referral from gp? Any suggestions where to find info on private clinics?

Hi again, no worries at all. You can go private whenever you like . Simply book a consultation with a clinic ( they tend to cost about 200 quid) they will undertake various tests of your fertility and your partners if you decide to proceed.

This is a good website. If you scroll right the end you can find a clinic , then you can search for whatever treatment e.g ivf , fresh cycle , age 40 and see stats at each clinic

www.hfea.gov.uk/choose-a-clinic/

As you drill down you get to clinics and the important bit is the birth stats, here’s an example with crgh

www.hfea.gov.uk/choose-a-clinic/clinic-search/results/44/

My choice was argc then I also looked at CRGH and create as an alternative ( natural modified)

@Littlemissnc Thanks again - that's all really helpful. I'm going to see how I get on with my appointment with gp and at least I know the option is there if it looks like things are going to be slow.

Hey @Eli707 sorry I've been quiet, been away for a few days which was a nice break. How have you been?

That is SO good on the replacement box! Good shout. Did you get your static smiley in the end? I got mine yesterday so looks like ovulation will be a little later than normal this month. Not had my temp rise to confirm ovulation yet though, it's usually same day as static smiley so hoping it happens tomorrow.

Good luck with your doctor's appointment tomorrow - let me know how it goes

Hey @RugbyGirl1 hope you had a lovely break. So nice to get away and just be somewhere different.

I'm so confused about what my body is doing this month. Never got static smiley and have given up testing. Temp has been high since Wednesday last week (CD11) so my app thinks I ovulated the day before. We carried on DTD for a few more days just in case and had been every other day before that so if I did ovulate we've covered all bases. Had a bit of a meltdown last week but ok now. Just hoping everything goes back to normal next cycle.

So glad the dr appointment was over the phone! Hate talking about stuff like this in real life. She advised me to go for a day 21 blood test to check I'm ovulating - which will be interesting after this last week! That's booked for Thursday. I've also been given the number for DH to organise a sperm analysis. I'll wait until my blood test comes back tho before asking him to do that as I know he'll be mortified by the idea of having to do that. She's also referred us straight to the fertility specialist because of my age (!) and she wasn't sure how long the wait for that would be. I really hope it isn't long as not sure I can afford to go private - £200 just for the appointment before they've done any tests. DH has Bupa health care with work but I don't and doubt it would cover us both for this.

I'm intrigued to know how your appointment might be different since you've got a fertility specialist. It was so clear the dr I spoke with was uncomfortable as she started telling me the basics about when to DTD. I had to put her out of her misery in the end and said I'd read a few books so knew what was what. She replied with 'You probably know more than me then!' which was rather worrying! My normal dr is a man but maybe I should have stuck with him 😂 Is yours next week? Let me know how the at goes.

It's so frustrating when our bodies throw in a curve ball. I got a static smiley but no temp rise and you got the temp rise but no static! My temp was marginally higher this morning but I think I'm just going to give up on this month.

Your GP appointment sounds really positive even if you knew more than she did! At least they're getting the ball rolling. Will your day 21 bloods be 7 days after expected ovulation / 7 days before your next AF is due?

Maybe try and speak to your DH about sperm analysis if you haven't already? I casually raised the subject at the weekend expecting him to not be interested in doing one but he was well up for it! He thinks we should wait a year before going to the GP but at the same time already thinks he's too 'old' for children. I said I'd rather know if something was wrong now so we can fix it earlier if needed, rather than keep trying when there is no chance.

Hope you don't have to wait too long for fertility referral to come through. Where abouts in the country are you?

My appointment is next week - also a phone one. Will let you know how it goes!

@RugbyGirl1 She only asked how long my cycle was so have no assume she was counting from the end but since I don't know if I ovulated may be a waste of time - going for blood test on Thursday which will be day 21

We talked about seeing someone after 6 months and agreed on September (although that will be 7 months) so will suggest it to him then. He likes to be prepared for stuff like that so at least that's already on his radar for next month. I'm like you - I'd rather know if something was up sooner rather than later.

GP said she didn't know how long the wait would be. I'm in Cheshire and have no idea how to find out how long - did some Googling and didn't find anything. At least we're on the list!

Hey @Eli707 how are you? What DPO are you on? I think I'm 7DPO today... Had a massive dip but still above cover line on my temps on 6DPO but it's back up again today thankfully.

When do you get your test results, did they say? My GP call is next week so will hopefully get the ball rolling too.

Have a great weekend!

Hey @RugbyGirl1 not really sure where I'm at. My temp app thinks I ovulated on CD10 which is way earlier than I've ever had before and would make me 14DPO. I really don't think I ovulated tho which I'm assuming is what the blood test will show. They haven't said when I'll get results but I assume next week some time. Just hope I don't have to wait another two weeks to get an appointment to discuss results!

I think I'm going to get early AF too - temp has been coming down the last few days and never got as high as it normally does. Pretty sure it must be linked to my covid jab as this happened after the first one and then this is the cycle after my second. Can't be a coincidence surely??!

I assume I can ask for another blood test next month if this one shows no ovulation. I'm trying to stay positive but feeling a bit fed up at the moment to be honest.

How annoying for you if it is all linked to the COVID jab @Eli707. I thought I'd read somewhere that the jab doesn't affect period cycles etc but I swear it does with the number of comments about it on here. They can't all be coincidences!

I started spotting Sunday evening, pretty sure AF is coming tomorrow, so about right for my 25 day cycle. Has AF arrived for you?

Had my call with the GP this week. She was really nice and thorough.... Wants to do usual day 3 and day 21 bloods along with testosterone, prolactin, rubella immunisation, Chlamydia antibodies and thyroid level tests, phew! For DH, he needs to ring and make an appointment where he'll have a physical (not seen this mentioned before!) exam of the genitals and to organise a SA.... Lets just say he lost a bit of interest in booking it at that point and now wants to wait and see how my bloods come back 🙄 I tried to explain to him that it doesn't really matter what my results are, if his swimmers are all going round in circles we're still not going to have much success! I'll try and talk him round, think it was a bit of information overload tbh.

I'm sure they will repeat the tests for you if necessary. You never know, the results may come back fine