So last December at 35+6 weeks pregnant I went into hospital with reduced movements, had an emergency section and my little girl was born very distressed. There had been an in utero haemorrhage and she had lost most of her blood supply into mine causing multiple organ problems. The doctors did everything they could but she died at 19 days old. It was my worst nightmare come true and we've been heartbroken since. Since we lost her I've had such a strong urge to have another, to bring home a bab. We were advised by the doctors to wait six months to conceive following emcs and are now trying again but I'm so scared - scared I won't get pregnant (I'm 39 and conceived easily on my last three pregnancies but maybe something has changed), scared that if I do I'll spend all nine months worried sick. I have existing MH issues so the prospect of the anxiety is really frightening but on the other hand I desperately want another baby. Anyhow, I don't know what this post is meant to achieve except maybe to write my fears down somewhere and ask has anyone else been through this and how did you cope?