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Conception

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TTC after neonatal death

4 replies

CommaStop · 27/07/2021 23:36

So last December at 35+6 weeks pregnant I went into hospital with reduced movements, had an emergency section and my little girl was born very distressed. There had been an in utero haemorrhage and she had lost most of her blood supply into mine causing multiple organ problems. The doctors did everything they could but she died at 19 days old. It was my worst nightmare come true and we've been heartbroken since. Since we lost her I've had such a strong urge to have another, to bring home a bab. We were advised by the doctors to wait six months to conceive following emcs and are now trying again but I'm so scared - scared I won't get pregnant (I'm 39 and conceived easily on my last three pregnancies but maybe something has changed), scared that if I do I'll spend all nine months worried sick. I have existing MH issues so the prospect of the anxiety is really frightening but on the other hand I desperately want another baby. Anyhow, I don't know what this post is meant to achieve except maybe to write my fears down somewhere and ask has anyone else been through this and how did you cope?

OP posts:
Zibidee · 28/07/2021 00:15

I'm so sorry about your little girl, glad you're in a place to try again.
I've only just started the whole TTC journey and I'm already worrying about miscarriage before even conceiving so I can't imagine how worried you must be. Have you got some professional support in terms of MH and for helping you reduce anxiety for another pregnancy?
Wishing you well and hope your other children and partner are helping you get through.

Nameswaptime · 28/07/2021 00:18

So sorry to hear about your baby girl. Is there a local neonatal support group you could speak to? Our local group offers peer support, counselling etc.

CommaStop · 28/07/2021 13:41

Yeah, I mean I was linked in with a local neonatal support group right after and we had a few group therapy sessions. I was also linked in until recently with the maternity hospital mental health services but they discharged me back to my GP about a month ago. Honestly I feel like I don’t have the mental energy to go hunting for supports at the moment. If I do get pregnant I’ll be linked straight back in with the hospital MH services. I suppose I’m anxious that I won’t manage to conceive and after the loss I just feel so desperate to bring a baby home.

OP posts:
Houserenoqueen · 28/07/2021 13:46

I have done this. My daughter was older (13 months) when she died but I have been through ttc and pregnancy after loss and all the anxiety that comes with it. I was totally shit scared and had many complications but have healthy twins now.
Feel free to reply here or PM, happy to answer any qs or just be here for a chat.

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