Better to travel heavily pregnant or with a 1 month old?

[Rlar105]

Hi there,

This is a bit of a funny one!

My other half and I are talking about trying for baby number 2 and we already have a gorgeous 8 month old. The only thing is, my sister is getting married in Greece next year and we want to avoid not being able to go (as in me being too pregnant to travel)!

The question id like to put out there is, is it easier to travel to Greece with a one month old or 35 weeks pregnant?

We will have an 19 month old with us too. Another thing to note is our son will either be 19 months or 20 months when the new baby is born (I should note we are thinking of having 3 kids and I'll be 35).

Any thoughts an opinions are all welcome!

Many thanks,

Rachel

@40notout40

But you've phrased the title as if it will either definitely happen in month 1 or month 2 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't believe it says I will definitely get pregnant anywhere in the title. It's asking if you think it's better to travel pregnant or with a newborn. If anything you should assume it's obviously hypothetical

I have three kids (two under two). I have travelled to Greece every summer with them. And they have been as young as three weeks. The heat wasn't a problem at all. People have babies in Greece and cope, you just need to adjust to it. I would personally rather travel with kids than heavily pregnant.

Hi, I'm currently on holiday (somewhere hot) with a 2 year old and a 10 week old. it was a struggle to get baby's passport in time to go. Flying was tough as I was breastfeeding whilst trying to keep the toddler in her seat and entertained.
To avoid the worst of the heat we go out early and are back in the air-conditioned appartment by 11:30am. Stay in the apartment until 3pm then hide in the shade or in the pool. It is tough but my 2 year old is really enjoying it. However I'm not sure I would recommend it. I also couldn't imagine going somewhere hot whilst heavily pregnant but I had complicated pregnancies.

@slippersandprosecco

Definitely neither! My DC are 16 months apart, so a smaller age gap than you're planning- and oh my gosh it is BRUTAL. We did a family holiday within the the UK a few weeks back (when DC2 was 2 months) and honestly it was exhausting.

Also please don't underestimate how difficult two under two is. I also had an easy firstborn, hence getting pregnant when he was 6 months old. DC2 is also a dream baby (luckily), but oh my gosh toddlers are 1000x harder than newborns. DC1 was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks but this all turned to pot from around 11 months- now. It is very very very hard work- just a warning!

Wowser that is a small age gap! Thank you for the honestly I appreciate it. My DS is gorgeous but he was far from easy! Severe reflux and still isn't sleeping through the night totally (he wakes for one feed so it isn't terrible).

I also have to factor in my age honestly! I've asked a few friends with 2 under 2 and they've said it's pretty damn difficult but they've also said it's so lovely that they are best friends

@Dogsandbabies

I have three kids (two under two). I have travelled to Greece every summer with them. And they have been as young as three weeks. The heat wasn't a problem at all. People have babies in Greece and cope, you just need to adjust to it. I would personally rather travel with kids than heavily pregnant.

Yea for sure that's what I was thinking! People have babies in Greece so I'm sure we would cope. Just perhaps not used to it.

Thanks all for your advice, seems we've got a bit to think about :/

Babies in hot countries, particularly breastfed aren’t an issue. Flying at 4 weeks is more problematic. You might still be bleeding heavily, might have stitches, and it’s very tiring. Don’t fly after 35 weeks it’s awful. Babies close together wasn’t an issue for me.

Neither.

In my opinion, flying with a newborn is a safer option. Being heavily pregnant might add an additional stress to your trip. We got baby’s psssport in 2 weeks.
And yep, people are having babies in hot countries but they live there so they are used to the heat so don’t need adjusting and they cope without issues. You will need to adjust to the extreme. Summers are very hot in Greece. I lived there, I loved it. But it’s different to everyone.

Neither. I had my boys 21 months apart. We went on our first holiday when number 2 was about 3 months old. I can’t even remember any of it. I was just flat out trying to feed the baby while he was entertaining the toddler- 18-24 months is a bloody difficult age.
No way would I enjoy a wedding in Greece even if I managed to physically go.
I’d be giving it a few months and aiming to be either much less pregnant or not pregnant.

Being heavily pregnant with a toddler is absolutely no walk in the park either.

I'd worry about it when you're pregnant.

It is strange to make plans for something that hasn't happened yet.

Getting a passport on time would be my concern with the latter option.

With my first I fell pregnant on the first month of trying.

To get pregnant again, I've had to undergo two rounds of ivf.

Nothing is a given.

Thanks guys, yea I think flying with a newborn would probably be safer for sure!

Oh I'm sorry to hear that.. Yea I've heard stories like that of the second one taking a lot longer so I'm wondering if just not putting it off is a better option

All because they may be close in age doesn’t mean they will be close. Depends on personality

@ineedaholidaynow

All because they may be close in age doesn’t mean they will be close. Depends on personality

Ok thanks for your input but that's not going to change my mind.

Judt for the record nothing will change my mind about wanting to try (if I can conceive) for two under 2.
And it's not the question I'm asking. But thanks anyway.

Personally I wouldn't fancy either of those options. It'll be much more pleasant to be under 28 weeks pregnant imo.
It took us one month to conceive dd1 and about 4 months to conceive this baby.

You’re perfectly entitled to want to plan for two under two. Clearly the idea horrifies some people but you’re far from alone.

But if that is your plan I think you’re mad to wait and try to plan around a wedding. Just crack on. Work out what’s possible if and when you become pregnant. It’s a foreign wedding in a pandemic with no known expiry date, your sister will have to go with the flow.

@Softleftpowerstance

You’re perfectly entitled to want to plan for two under two. Clearly the idea horrifies some people but you’re far from alone.

But if that is your plan I think you’re mad to wait and try to plan around a wedding. Just crack on. Work out what’s possible if and when you become pregnant. It’s a foreign wedding in a pandemic with no known expiry date, your sister will have to go with the flow.

That is a very good point to be fair!! We really don't know what is gonna happen!

I took 5 week old DS1 to Greece for a family wedding. I'll be honest I asked every midwife, GP, doctor I came across whether or not we should go, hoping they would say no. They all said to do it and that newborns just need you and don't care where they are. That year there was a heatwave so here was as hot or hotter than Greece, so weather wasn't much of a consideration. I had a straightforward birth which obviously helped but I organised everything on the basis that it was always 50:50 whether we would go. I got specialist travel insurance for me and DS so we could get our money back if we couldn't go for health reasons to do with either of us. I was also prepared to lose the money if I just decided I didn't want to do it. He was our first so I just had no way of knowing how I'd feel.
Passport wise DH had to go up to London and get a same day passport done, which was obviously pretty expensive. This was all pre covid so I don't know how doable that would be now. Birth registrations are still delayed by at least 5 weeks in my area.
In the end it was fine. We had family on tap and I basically breastfed next to a pool for a week. It was much better than I thought it would be tbh. That said I now have a toddler and a newborn and I'm not sure I would do it now with 2. All DH had to focus on was helping me and DS1 and that wouldn't be the case if he had our toddler and I had the baby. The amount of stuff we had to take was insane and I don't know who would deal with all that.
I wouldn't even consider doing a trip like that pregnant. Giving birth or having complications abroad would be horrendous. X

Don’t put your life on hold! If you get pregnant and there’s a wedding then you will look at the solution.

@Crunchiedelight

I wouldn’t do either, sounds hellish to me. 2 under 2 also brutal. I’d wait a few more months and aim to be less pregnant when your sister gets married.

This. I would wait so I had at least a two year gap.

Sorry in response to 2 under 2, I definitely want 2 under 2. I'd like to have children close in age and am aware it will be extremely tough, but I'm up for the challenge.
Are you sure your body will have fully recovered with such a small gap? Waiting at least 18 months between pregnancies is recommended to reduce risk of premature birth or low birthweight (especially if you’re over 35).

If 2 under 2 is important to you, then forget about your sister’s wedding for conception timing. Either you will be able to go or you will have a special lunch with her the week before where you feed her lots of champagne and talk about how excited you are for her.

You might have to tell her before the 12 week scan if she’s relying on you as a bridesmaid, but just live your life

@kowari

Sorry in response to 2 under 2, I definitely want 2 under 2. I'd like to have children close in age and am aware it will be extremely tough, but I'm up for the challenge. Are you sure your body will have fully recovered with such a small gap? Waiting at least 18 months between pregnancies is recommended to reduce risk of premature birth or low birthweight (especially if you’re over 35).

Yes my body is recovered now! I'm good. Fairly uncomplicated birth luckily. This isn't a concern to me at all.

@Dishwasheverything

I took 5 week old DS1 to Greece for a family wedding. I'll be honest I asked every midwife, GP, doctor I came across whether or not we should go, hoping they would say no. They all said to do it and that newborns just need you and don't care where they are. That year there was a heatwave so here was as hot or hotter than Greece, so weather wasn't much of a consideration. I had a straightforward birth which obviously helped but I organised everything on the basis that it was always 50:50 whether we would go. I got specialist travel insurance for me and DS so we could get our money back if we couldn't go for health reasons to do with either of us. I was also prepared to lose the money if I just decided I didn't want to do it. He was our first so I just had no way of knowing how I'd feel. Passport wise DH had to go up to London and get a same day passport done, which was obviously pretty expensive. This was all pre covid so I don't know how doable that would be now. Birth registrations are still delayed by at least 5 weeks in my area. In the end it was fine. We had family on tap and I basically breastfed next to a pool for a week. It was much better than I thought it would be tbh. That said I now have a toddler and a newborn and I'm not sure I would do it now with 2. All DH had to focus on was helping me and DS1 and that wouldn't be the case if he had our toddler and I had the baby. The amount of stuff we had to take was insane and I don't know who would deal with all that. I wouldn't even consider doing a trip like that pregnant. Giving birth or having complications abroad would be horrendous. X

This is great detail thank you!

and thanks for all the other advice! It's so difficult to know what to do but I think we will just go with how we are feeling the month we are supposed to start trying!