Problems with family member over IVF

[Hayleyandbaby]

I am 16+1 and my sister just had IVF and is 6+1. However, she didn't have anything to do with me at all between me getting pregnant and her getting pregnant and she's really weird with me now.
She seems to resent me (which she says she doesn't) and when i approached her she yelled that she feels like a failure and that she can't get pregnant just like that finger snapping she also said that I'll be able to go on to have loads of kids and she'll only have her twins.
She's negative about everything and she's worried sick she can't trust her body to have the babies. She won't even consider giving birth so she's having a CS.
I just don't understand why she's weird with me now or why she says she'll never be the same because of what she went through. Even though she says she doesn't resent me she really does seem to.
I know she's been through a lot and I've tried to understand but she's not having any of it and treats me like I'm a stupid, horrible person. I'm really frustrated with it as i'd like us to share the experience of our first pregnancy's together.

Has anyone else been through similar? If so, please could you explain? I know it sounds like I'm being stupid, but I have genuinely tried to understand and be sensitive but there seems to be something I'm missing? Am i really so far off the mark?

hi i just read through the thread and thought i would share my experience with you.
i found out i was pregnant when i was 20 (im 25 now) and my immediate reaction was that i would keep the baby even though the babys father wasnt in the picture any more. i decided to tell my friends who i (somewhat naively) expected would be very supportive. one friend had a quite bad reaction to my news and told me she wouldnt speak to me if i didnt 'get rid'!! (she was 24 at the time) i was really upset by this and asked another friend to find out why this was her reaction. she told me later that my friend had found out a few weeks before that she had polycystic ovaries and was unlikely to concieve when she wanted to and was angry at me for getting pregnant by accident. i for a long time didnt understand her jealousy and fell out of the friendship because of this. i then miscarried at 15 weeks and she said to me how sorry she was but at least i wont have to worry about the birth now!( this was the following day after i had been discharged from the hospital) this was the worst thing anybody has ever said to me and it obviously showed how bitter she felt towards her diagnosis.
i had a talk with her about a year afterwards about it as i didnt think that she realised what she said and how much it hurt me and she told me that she couldnt bring herself to be happy for anybody who was able to have children and she was trying to make light of the awful situation. she is now still extremely bitter towards anybody with children and she completely cut me out of her life when me and my DH got pregnant with our DD after 9 months of TTC. she was not at all supprtive to me during the time that i was trying to concieve and seemed happy that it wasnt happening for us. since i had my DD we have stopped speaking on the whole and although i understand the reasons for her lack of understanding i still find that it hurts that somebody who was supposed to be my friend couldnt be happy for me and my DH especially after she was there during my MC.
while i know that those who have alot of trouble TTC can store alot of resentment for people who seemingly have no trouble, it still hurts when the poeple close to you cant be happy and supportive to you in the time you need them the most. it is not your fault that you have not had trouble TTC the same as it is not her fault that she has.i dont know whether i would have felt different if it was my sister but i have been in both boats and i was still supportive to my friend (a different friend) when she found out she was pregnant with her second around the time i was struggling to concieve my first (2nd pregnancy overall) she went on to have a DS and it took me another couple of months to get pregnant.
i can understand that you are feeling left out by your family and i hope that everybody around you can be more supportive in the future. HTH
xx ei xx

Jersey and Mrsei25 I'm so glad you've shared your experiences. I'm lucky that my sister has conceived, as if she hadn't, she wouldn't have bothered with me ever again which would have been heart breaking. I too understand that it must be awful not being able to concieve, but it's not other people's fault, and I would have been beside myself if she wouldn't have been involved with my children.

As difficult as it may have been for your friend, she cannot have been a true friend to hurt you as much as she did and wish for you not to have children. I'm glad you've been able to move on from this.

Jersey- Your case seems to be worst case scenario and I really feel for you. Hope she eventually comes round and realises that she's missing out on having a part or an impact on any children's lives because she can't bear her own.