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[Hayleyandbaby]

I am 16+1 and my sister just had IVF and is 6+1. However, she didn't have anything to do with me at all between me getting pregnant and her getting pregnant and she's really weird with me now.
She seems to resent me (which she says she doesn't) and when i approached her she yelled that she feels like a failure and that she can't get pregnant just like that finger snapping she also said that I'll be able to go on to have loads of kids and she'll only have her twins.
She's negative about everything and she's worried sick she can't trust her body to have the babies. She won't even consider giving birth so she's having a CS.
I just don't understand why she's weird with me now or why she says she'll never be the same because of what she went through. Even though she says she doesn't resent me she really does seem to.
I know she's been through a lot and I've tried to understand but she's not having any of it and treats me like I'm a stupid, horrible person. I'm really frustrated with it as i'd like us to share the experience of our first pregnancy's together.

Has anyone else been through similar? If so, please could you explain? I know it sounds like I'm being stupid, but I have genuinely tried to understand and be sensitive but there seems to be something I'm missing? Am i really so far off the mark?

even though she is now pg, she had to go through alot to get there. im assuming yours was natural conception? She may feel that she will only have her ivf babies because what she went through was too much to do again. She is probably still getting used to being pg, and still in the nervous part of pg.

Conception pregnancy and babies can cause ill feeling between people, especially when one has it easier than another. Just continue to be there for her. She will get better when she has relaxed in her pg.

I think those of us who never have needed ivf/had mcs/etc can ever understand what some women have to go through to get babies.

Thanks scorpio. I got pregnant REALLY quickly which i think frustrates her more than anything.

I think you're right, I just can't understand because I'm not in the situation.

I will try to be there for her and I hope she comes round soon as she looks at me in a really horrible way now.. like cold. Which is strange because she's always been so overprotective of me before now.

I'm mostly upset because my mum's friend had 3 failed IVF cycles and then gave up, and she's so happy for us being pregnant. And my MIL had 3 m/cs last year and she's over the moon that we're pregnant. I wouldn't have expected my sis to be so... empty about it all. If empty's the word.

She is probably scared, upset, happy and worried all at the same time!

i know when i was ttc (took 6 months naturally) that i began to hate hearing of pg people.

She may or may not come round soon. maybe if things are still hard after her scan send her a card saying thinking of you or something?

All I can say is, I remember my best friend getting pregnant just after I'd had a miscarriage and I had a torrent of emotions. I really struggled and I couldn't bear to see her, or other pregnant women. It was only when I became pregnant again that the situation eased.

It goes deep, deep into a woman's psyche so perhaps you'll have to try to be ultra understanding even though this is hard on you as your sister has had a very painful time and has deep concerns about the future.

Try to realise this has nothing to do with how she feels about you and everything to do with how she feels about herself so cut her some slack now and you can hopefully both enjoy happier times soon.

That's a good idea, I think I will.
My point to her today was that I'm tired of trying to make her feel wonderful about being pregnant, and it being all one sided. I love her to bits and want her to be happy. I think she might need to see less of me at the moment as she seems sort of irritated by my lovely bump and kicking baby, and the fact I can buy things and I'm enjoying things despite the fact anything can go wrong at any time.
I do try not to rub her nose in it, and be very low key but she's so down and fed up and her DH doesn't help.

Thanks spidermama- I've promised her I'll respect her doing things her own way until she feels more able to cope and be happy about being pg.
It's good to know other people have felt the same as her and that it's not just that she can't stand me

Sorry, I've done two threads of this, it's because I missed the title off this once so I did it again with a title.