So DH has agreed, now why am I scared......?

[LadyOfTheFlowers]

I have always wanted 4 children and currently have 2 boys, aged 1 & 2.
DH was sure he wanted only 2 (He is 1 of 2, I am 1 of 3) but has recently agreed to another, but that will be his limit.
We could probably make room for one more child bedroom wise, but not 4.
We are not going to be able to move any time ever as far as I can see, so that's that anyway.
I feel I am not done yet with babies etc and have spoken on here before about the 3rd child I sometimes think I have. (Thought I was going mad, but was reassured by other mums here)
I was having my coil removed after Crimble so we could start TTC and have been having some pain from my coil recently.
In the bath the other day, I discovered it had dropped a bit and I could feel the bottom part of it. Needless to say the bloody thing is out now and I have no pain now whatsoever.
I rang DH at work to tell him as he was worried about the pain I kept getting and he says, brace yourself ladies, he is a mechanic, need I say more.....
'Well, I best slip 'ya one when I get home then'
He is quite obviously happy to begin TTC now, so why am I aprehensive about it?
Whilst giving birth to DS2 I told Dh and the MW I was 'going to die' and afterwards haemorraged (sp?) badly. It was a very scary time with Doc wanting to perform hysterectomy etc.
I had both boys in birth pool but am not looking forward to giving birth all over again, but am sure I will be fine.
3rd ones are really easy right?
No 2 births are the same right?

I can always have pain relief this time, so I am not convinced this is my problem tbh, think I am blaming this.
Anyone else feel like this?

Thanks in advance.

Anyone?

I understand...

I am supposed to be having my coil out in preparation for dc3 (but dps dc1) - I keep putting it off and think deep down I must not want to do it......

Oh - but I have been advised that I shouldn't have anymore so that is probably my reason....plus my dcs are 14 and 11

All I can say is when it arrives you will love it and your life will just carry on, there's no reason why you should struggle this time is there? Am not surprised you are apprehensive haemorraging is not nice for anyone!

You will be fine, dont worry. I love having babies but as soon as i see that positive line on the prg test i always go a bit What have i done? It just brings home the reality i think, much like you are thinking now.

PMSL at mechanic talk, hope he didnt shout it out at work

I have a friend, she wanted another baby for 3 years before her dh said ok, she immediatly panicked and said 'oooooh im not sure'. She is about to have her 4th son and is positively thrilled.

Ladyoftheflowers I feel exactly the same. Have two dcs, ds 3 3/4 and dd 2.3. Dh is an RAF doctor and I just about hold it together when he is away (which is a lot) and I work 3 days a week. I have had my coil taken out and was apprehensive about it and still feel apprehensive. Not sure whether I am doing the right thing. I am 35 and one of three myself and always wanted more than two children as can't imagine only having one sib myself.

I probably should stop at two but I find myself carrying on regardless. I bought some ov sticks on the internet the other day so one part of me says one thing and the other says another! Not much help - sorry!

A bit like you.

I have been nagging DH for ages and the last night he said. 'Go on then!'

Now I feel really scared!! Not so much of birth but of the whole thing.

I think while they are saying no you can fantasise in safety. Once they agree then your safety net is gone.

for your birth experience. I'm sure this one will be nicer!

I think that is so right!
You have a safety net.