Why is this decision so hard …

[Daisycat16]

It sounds very insensitive as I’m talking about TTC 3rd baby but I genuinely do not know what to do. On one hand I think it would be lovely to expand our family and I do think about it a lot!!! However the other part is saying panic stations you’re nearly 40 what are you thinking, it’s the fantasy you like the idea of, not the reality and, if you did really want another baby you’d be all systems go to try by now. I can’t stand this continuous state of limbo even though it’s me who needs to make a decision. If I had more time to play with maybe I wouldn’t feel under such pressure. I know it’s only me and my partner who can make this decision (he would be happy if it happened) but it’s so hard. I do worry about regretting the final decision whatever that will be. Sorry for waffling

Ah, I feel the same. Or at least I did. Yearned for a third but something was holding me back. Wasn't sure but thought maybe it was my biological clock ticking as I'm approaching 40? But the feeling past a couple of months ago. I would love three but really only if the third could be delivered to me as an 18 month old. I'm still so tired from my 4 and 2 year olds I don't think I could handle the first year again.

I think I'll always pine for those newborn cuddles and the huge feeling of new love though. Babies are magical.

And I still hang out on this board to see the lines and everyone's excitement!

I'm desperate for a third but DS2 has been pretty difficult and despite us agreeing on 3 DH now says he's done and doesn't want another.
I feel so sad because my last pregnancy I went through it thinking it wouldn't be my last and unknowingly it was.
I know it's not something you're supposed to say but I have 2 boys and would really love a girl, my boys won't have any cousins either so I'd love a third just so there's more of them to support each other when they're older.
I'm still hoping I can persuade DH to change his mind next year!