Depression when TTC

[rathernotshare]

Hi ladies

Bit sensitive - is anyone else going through this? Is it normal?

Literally all I can think about is how I will probably never have children. I'm crying every day, staring into space, not eating, withdrawn. I've been depressed before and I know the signs, but I don't really want to speak to my GP as 1. Antidepressants were hell to come off of 2. I don't want them thinking I'm just saying it because I want more tests (they told me not to come back until we had been trying 2 years, it's been 21 months) and 3. I don't want them thinking I'm in an unfit state to have a child.

Help

I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling. I really do think you should talk to your GP about how you're feeling. If you don't want to take any medication then they should be able to offer you some counselling or CBT to help you through this difficult time. They will absolutely not make any judgements about your mental capability of having children - please don't think that. Do you have friends or family you're happy speaking to as well? TTC is really hard mentally but I really do think you should speak to someone and ask for help, as hard as it may feel.

If you're working some employers offer an Employee Assistance Programme where you can speak to someone completely impartial and external, and often they offer counselling sessions for free. You could see if your employer offers that if you're really worried about speaking to a GP?

Please don't keep everything to yourself - reach out and ask for help - no one will judge you x

Thank you, I think I may have used up my quota of CBT... I'm not really sure how it works?

I have OCD and already had over my NHS allowance in 2020 (20 sessions - pandemic and OCD do not mix!) and also had double the allowance through the EAP at work (12 sessions). Not sure if the NHS allowance resets after a period of time or for separate visits, although I had to wait 18 months to be seen after first referral.

Just feel so bloody lost, they tend to offer pills as a quick bandaid because of wait times, but if I refuse them I don't think they will help? Like what do I really want? I honestly don't know!

I had no idea that the NHS only offer a limited amount of sessions, that's awful! It sounds like you definitely need to have a chat with your GP for ongoing support and I would hope they would help you further since you've sought their support before.

I don't know your personal circumstances, but what about private counselling sessions, if the NHS wait is too long? Or I'm sure there are some charities that could support you. I'm afraid I don't have any experiences to share myself, but I've heard that ongoing support is the best and having the same counsellor to support, as they get to know you etc.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this - please do reach out to your GP tomorrow and talk to them about how you're feeling. They will be able to give you expert medical advice on how you can be best supported through this difficult time. Take care and don't be hard on yourself xx