Apologies in advance for the essay!
My cycles are usually 29-30 days - I usually notice EWCM like clockwork on day 13 every cycle (it was on day 10 one cycle and that was a 27 day cycle) - this is how I know I'm in my fertile window and I usually get my period 14 days after the 5th day of EWCM - so I assume ovulation is usually day 17 or 18 but I don't track my BBT (I have lots of broken sleep) and don't check cervical position (too squeamish). I also always get a one-sided pain for a day or 2 just before ovulation - so I go by EWCM and pain.
I have had suffered 2 missed miscarriages in a row (May 2020 and April 2021) but my first cycle after my last MC was pretty much back to normal - EWCM on day 13 and a 29 day cycle).
However, this month (2nd cycle after MC) I hadn't had any EWCM at all by day 18 and I started to panic so I started doing OPKs. OPKs started to get darker on CD 19 and by early afternoon of CD20 it was almost positive - the test line was ever so slightly lighter than the control line - I assume that by the evening it would have been positive but I was out watching the England vs Italy match so didn't get to test! I also had left sided ovulation pain all day on Saturday and Sunday (CD19 & 20). So I assumed I would ovulate on Monday. I have been tracking BBT over the past week but temps are all over the shop - in fact temps are lower over past few days than they were over the weekend when they seemed to peak. But again - I wake up a lot and toss and turn so I know I can't rely on BBT.
Just went for a walk and noticed a fair amount of EWCM when I get home. So now I'm thinking maybe I haven't ovulated but am going to soon. It might be worth noting that I have been stressed/anxious lately and I know stress can delay ovulation - and particularly on Sunday evening watching the football (silly I know) I was extremely tense and then had an awful night where I couldn't sleep and felt like my adrenaline would not come down. So maybe my body was gearing up to ovulate but then I got so stressed that it just shut down and stopped?
Do you think it sounds like I have ovulated or should I take the EWCM as a sign that I haven't but will soon? Any advice very welcome! I feel so desperate to get pregnant and find the wait to ovulate each month torturous and the 2 week wait after that even worse.