Ffs, starting again after loss, TTC can kiss my arse. Anyone else?

[SemiFeralDalek]

2019 spent not trying, not preventing. Not a sausage.

2020 spent really trying. Opks, BBT, charting everything. Lost DS2 at 21+4 in November. Utter devastation.

2021, Chemical in January. Now just had a MMC, discovered at 7.5 weeks, had the standard fortnight wait for confirmation and medication.

That was a week and a half ago and I've just stopped bleeding.

So here we go again. Somebody open the wine.

I'll join you 🍷 So sorry for your losses, it's utterly shit. I've had 2 mmc, one in December, second one in April. We've kind of not really been trying and just seeing what happens but 2 pregnancy announcements this week and the due date of the first mmc having just passed has tipped me over the edge.

It's shit isn't it, I'm so sorry for your losses too. And it feels really unfair. The pregnancy announcements, or even worse, then the birth announcements are awful. Lovely for them obviously, but it does cement the loss rather, doesn't it.

One of them I can't even pretend to be happy for, the other I am so happy for but it was so hard. And so I feel like a horrible person. I need to find a distraction, it's the only way I feel like I pull myself out of the awful thoughts going round in my head. And to stop me from obsessing about everything 🙈

I am so sorry for all your losses...its so hard to stay hopeful in the face of constant setbacks, disappointments and heartache while others around you progress with their family.
I'm getting over a complicated miscarriage, one hurdle after another.
Keep going x

I’m two weeks out from medical management for a MMC at 10 weeks. Still strong positive on test. It only took a few months to conceive but I’d had a long wait to TTC after a complete molar pregnancy in October 2019, treated by months of chemotherapy, followed by waiting period. I just want to get a negative test and try again. It sucks.
Sorry for your losses.

I've started taking the vitamins again today after a week or so off. I think I'm going to give soy isoflavones another bash maybe.

The disappointment feels never ending though. And I'll never look at pregnancy in the same way again. It just feels like an endless slog now. @goodvibesonlyplease I get it. You're not a horrible person. It's so hard.

@Extrahotcoffee I'm so sorry, its just so shit x

Not joining you, but have been through similar and just wanted to say how sorry I am for all your losses

I'm just under a week post surgical management, MMC discovered at 12 week scan, baby stopped growing at 8+4...I had no bleeding, no pain and had really bad sickness so it was a shock! 3rd miscarriage so I have now been reffered to the recurrent miscarriage clinic, it feels like progress but not at the same time because there is so much waiting around!
Also had a family pregnancy announcement 3 days after my MVA so that was a tough one.

So sorry for all of your loses, it really is the shittest shit show!

@MargoGru

I’m two weeks out from medical management for a MMC at 10 weeks. Still strong positive on test. It only took a few months to conceive but I’d had a long wait to TTC after a complete molar pregnancy in October 2019, treated by months of chemotherapy, followed by waiting period. I just want to get a negative test and try again. It sucks. Sorry for your losses.

This is completely shit and I'm so sorry.

And to you @chinchilly.

I've got PTSD from the loss of DS2 and it feels huge to be in the starting position again. It's nearly a year since I got a positive test for him and we're no further on and still bereft.

And there's a thread on aibu about 4/5yr age gaps which is making me feel like shit. I know how incredibly fortunate I am to have my DS. He has kept me going. But he was supposed to be a big brother by now. Instead he talks about "our baby who lives in heaven".

@SemiFeralDalek I can't even imagine how difficult your loss must of been at that stage, any loss is horrendous at any time but the process at that stage must be heartbreaking.

Some of those aibu posts are silly 🤨 I wouldn't worry about ages gaps too much, the TTC malarkey seems to have its own crazy/uncontrollable timeline, your DS will love his sibling whenever they come along.

I really feel for you, it's utterly sh*t when everyone else seems to have a straightforward path to two little kids. Don't give up hope though.

I would say ignore the posts about age gaps firstly because you can't change it and secondly you didn't choose it. Don't torture yourself over it. I think as little kids, no they probably won't play together but as older kids and adults the gap matters a lot less and let's face it they'll be adults far longer than little kids. X

I had PTSD after the birth of our DD and found counseling didn't help but finding a hypnotherapist who specialises is PTSD really did. Maybe give that a go x

I had a MMC in September last year and we're just about to start trying again. Couldn't try for a while because I was taking some medication which drs advise against trying to ttc on.

It took me a year to conceive last time and I'm older now so I'm worried it just isn't going to happen for us. We had a family announcement recently that I just can't pretend to be happy about - but no one in my family really seems to think I'm being reasonable about it.