thinking about number three already!

[BJB21]

Only just had DS2 almost 9wks ago and i have already decideed that i definitely want a third. Obviously not quite yet but i cantleave it for ages as im 37 and DP is 41. I know people cant decide for me but what would be a reasonable gap to wait so that they would be close in age but not so close that i wouldnt be able to cope? If i were younger id probably wait til this one was maybe 3or 4 but no way will i wait that long for a couple of reasons- number 1 i dont want end up finding it hard to psyche myself up for another and you end up talking yourself out of it. Number 2 is obviously our age. I also 'feel sorry' for DP in a way cos it seems he will never have time for himself as he already has 17 yr old from prev realtionship, our DS1 Aged 8 and the baby. At this rate with all the gaps he will be having babies at 60! He isnt that fussed about another but he says he happily will for me but if i changed my mind he wouldnt be bothered. I am adamant i want one tho even tho its early days. However, i do worry how hard it will be cos no way can i pack up work( i currently work 3-4 days a wk) or even reduce hours. Any thoughts or experiences?

Hi, I had my ds at 37 and, only now I am 40 I am going to try to give him a brother or sister. Up until now I did not consider it because he is beeb adorable but hard work.
Looking back I don't regret it although it is lovely to see other kids with younger brothers. My advice is consider your situation, whether there will be someone else ready to help when you need it and the most important thing follow your instinct. I am sure you will make the right decision. I know I have.

MY dp is supportive and i have a sister who is close in age to me and she will help whenever i want although she does work full time herself. My mil (who i do get on well with) isnt the type to put herself out to help and would only babysit for a couple of hours which annoys me really. My own mother was totally different but she died 4 trs ago and i miss her help. I could always rely on her with Ds 1 if i needed help. My MIL would never have one of the kids overnight. I have got used to doing things myself realy now

I said that about help because ever since my pregnancy nobody ever has helped us or babysit for us. That is why I could not have another one.

oh i see what you mean. Like i say i have my dp and sis and thats it. My mil wouldnt put herself out for me at all, but im determined to manage on my own. Im putting the baby in nursery one day per wk when i return to work and i work shifts so i can do more nights/wkends if necessary and i would rather do that than ask people for favours (except my sis who would have the baby overnight now if i wanted even tho he wakes during the night).

I will do the same with another but it will be much harder i suppose. Wish id started having kids earlier i really do.

Enjoy your baby and let everything happen. If you are so determined to have another one, you will make it possible. I am convinced.
X

Thanks. Yes iam determined and yes i will!