Been TTC 7 months, struggling with pressure from relatives

[Janey3090]

Hi all! So my new husband and I have been TTC since the end of last year with no luck so far. I have very irregular cycles which isn't making it easy (anything from 25 days to 36 days!), but we do know of course that it can take a while so are trying to not be disappointed each month.

However, now we are married since June all we seem to be getting from relatives is 'I expect it will be a baby next for you', 'watch out DH, she'll be nagging you for a baby next' and comments like that. MIL constantly talks about babies too (DH is her only son so any children of ours would be her only grandchildren so it is understandable), but it's kind of adding to the pressure in a way and making me feel like I'm letting people down. Lots of couples we know are expecting and we keep hearing things like 'we're surprised it happened our first month of TTC!'

It kind of adds to the pressure in a way as all we hear about esp in family conversations is baby talk. I don't want to come across as selfish because I am genuinely happy for these people, but was just wondering if anyone else had experiences like this? And if so, how you cope with those types of comments esp when you are secretly actively TTC but it isn't happening? I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to right now.

@Janey3090 Hi! I can really relate to this as my husband and I have been TTC unsuccessfully for about the same time (I've found out I have PCOS along the way) and am also surrounded by friends with young children and friends conceiving really easily, as well as a mother and a mother in law who are vocal about wanting to be grandmothers!

While I know it's natural to want to keep these things close to your chest, what has been really helpful for me is telling a few close friends. They have been really empathetic and understanding and it has also helped with them not bringing up babies/TTC unless I initiate and want to talk to them about it that day etc. I've also learned in this process that some of my friends have also been TTC without success so far and we have a little support group as a result. It could be the same for you!

With my mum/mum-in-law, I've just said in a jokey way when they brought up babies, 'when we have an update, we'll let you know; in the meantime, please don't ask'. My mum took this really well, my mother-in-law, less so initially. I just followed up by explaining to her that it was something my husband and I wanted to keep private between ourselves (which she couldn't really argue with!).

That's just my experience, I hope you feel okay. It is really hard, isn't it xx

Also, just to add - you aren't letting anyone down! You are trying to conceive so that you can be parents (your parents being grandparents is secondary) and it will happen when it happens :)