Putting TTC on hold

[ALittleOCD]

My hubby spoke to me last night. We're in the throws of the third wave of covid and South Africa is really struggling to keep up (hospitals). My hubby is very exposed daily for his business so he doesn't want to keep trying in fear that if he brought it home to me I couldn't take any medication to treat it.

I am heartbroken and feel that Covid isn't going anywhere anytime soon. So feel this means we're probably not going to be trying for at least another year or whenever the Pandemic goes away.

I will never force him into anything so the decision is made to stop but just feeling really down about it. Anyone else in the same boat?

I really feel for you, that must feel so disappointing. We had to make a similar decision and delayed TTC by another 16 months because of Covid and especially because of my public-facing job. We are finally starting TTC from this month. I made peace with our decision, because I know the risk of catching Covid during pregnancy and also going through pregnancy and childbirth in the middle of Covid restrictions would have been too stressful for us.

I hope the situation where you are improves soon and you don't have to delay for as long as you are anticipating at the moment. Are there plans for you and your partner to be vaccinated soon? Our plan was to both be double-vaccinated before TTC. That could be a path towards TTC for you too. I also tried to use the time waiting to improve my fitness and lose some weight. I also saved up and paid some debts that we had built up when we bought our first home together. It might be nice for you to plan what you can do with the extra time that you now have before a little one joins you.

@Speccybibliophile Thank you so much.. I will hold thumbs for you now that you are TTC again that you are plenty fertile and get a BFP soon.

Unfortunately our vaccinations are not exactly going to plan (South African Gov problems) we're only on the Ages 50 - 60 run of vaccinations at the moment. I am 28 so we're probably looking at, at least, another year before they get down to my age group.

You're right though. I am sure we can find things to build and get ready while we wait to try again.

@ALittleOCD thank you, I won't pretend that it hasn't been heartbreaking at times, especially as close family members as well distant relatives have had babies or are pregnant now. As with everything in this pandemic, we have to balance the risks and also try to make the most of the extra time that we have to wait. I hope that the vaccination programme speeds up in your area and the gov problems get resolved.

If it was me I wouldn't hold off TTC for Covid. I didn't expect to give birth at the start of a pandemic when my son was born at the end of March 2020. Having a first baby with no support from family and heartbreak/loneliness on a daily basis was incredibly difficult. My husband wasn't able to come in to hospital with me until I was confirmed to be in active labour, and had to leave us 2 hours after birth and wasn't allowed back to visit until we left. But I would do it all again in a heartbeat to have my son. By following the restrictions we have been able to keep him from catching Covid so far and I wouldn't say we are over cautious. I am starting TTC again next month despite my previous experience because I desperately want a 2 year gap and don't want Covid to get in the way of my lifelong plans! It can also take many people a year to get pregnant so I feel very mindful of time. I work in multiple schools with many children but wear PPE and am careful with handwashing and distancing so don't feel worried. I know 2 friends who caught Covid whilst pregnant and were fine, nothing more than loss of taste/smell for a few weeks and they both were feeling reassured by the research that suggests their babies would be born with Covid antibodies. I also have multiple friends who conceived during the pandemic and have all since given birth without issue. I don't think Covid will be going anywhere any time soon and life is short.

That's probably not very helpful if you think his decision is made, as both your opinions have to be respected! Perhaps you also have an underlying health condition that may put you more at risk. If his mind is set then I think setting yourself some goals for this year would be helpful to keep you distracted from TTC.