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Conception

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Pregnant at 40!!!

3 replies

Shiftima · 28/06/2021 12:51

Just found out I’m pregnant. I’ll be 40 next month and already have DC all of which have been high risk pregnancies resulting in premature labour.
I’m scared. I haven’t told DP yet as we aren’t in a serious relationship. He’s going to panic as I know he isn’t ready to be a dad yet.
I’m on the pill too... how has this happened? Somebody talk me down please
I had a chemical a couple of months ago too. Why does this keep happening?

OP posts:
TakeYourFinalPosition · 28/06/2021 13:05

Oh love Flowers

He’s going to panic as I know he isn’t ready to be a dad yet.

Given that, unless he's a LOT younger than you, I think you'd probably be best to decide if you want to continue with the pregnancy yourself first - and then talk to him. It's absolutely up to you. As it's not a serious relationship right now and he seems quite immature, I'd presume that you're going ahead alone, decide what you'd like to do, and then see what happens. If he steps up, that's great. If he doesn't, you're prepared anyway.

If you do want to go ahead, start taking a multivitamin ASAP, and talk to your midwife unit about whether additional folic acid is a good idea - I know they recommend it to mums over 38 where I am.

In the future, when you've decided what to do, it might be a good idea to have a contraceptive check if the pill isn't working for you anymore - changing pills, or using a coil/implant, or just doubling up with condoms, to save yourself the constant worry. But you don't need to worry about that just yet.

How old are your current DC? Practically, can you make another one fit? Emotionally, do you want to?

Flowers
Shiftima · 28/06/2021 13:38

So much to think about. There’s a 13 year gap between us. He’s not immature at all though. Got all these life plans which I really admire about him. It’s more intense than a casual thing but because we’re at different stages we just haven’t made it official.
The thought of doing this on my own is scary(my youngest is 7) im thinking that when I tell him I’ll say something like ‘you can be as involved as you like’ but I know his conscious won’t let him leave me alone to do it. Which makes me worry about messi g his life up entirely.
What a mess

OP posts:
Shiftima · 28/06/2021 21:17

Any other advice?

OP posts:
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