TTC difficulties - could stress be to blame?

[Fagin99]

Hi All,

Husband and I have been TTC first child for five months. I've just turned 37 so realise I'm older. I've mainly been timing dtd around ovulation (used opk) but still no luck.

I have been very stressed and wondered if anyone else had luck once they 'chilled out' or if it didn't matter in getting pregnant?

To summarise: I've been very anxious about Covid since it all started; my boss and job are utterly horrible; just found a new job (hurrah!); but very worried now about going back to an office environment next month after 18 months of home working. Finally, this week, my beloved cat (who is like a child to me) is in hospital and may have to be put to sleep. I cannot stop crying today and to top it all off guess what - went to the loo just now and my bloody period was there

Weirder still, my cycle this month was 25 days and normally it is 28. I'm so upset about everything and everywhere I look people seem to be popping out babies, owning healthy cats and getting on with their lives.

Just reaching out really I suppose as I feel so alone. Thanks for reading. X

Hello,

Sounds like your having a rotten time and I'm sorry it's all happening at once

I don't know what's normal for you cyclewise but I know about half of people have cycles that vary by 5 days in length so although it might seem odd for you in the grand scheme it's not too bad.

I understand what you mean about stress but I don't think it will be a game changer for you, and stressing about stressing will probably lead to more stress. So what can you do but wait for things to calm down a bit?

If i were you I think I'd focus on thinking of little ways to feel more prepared for the new job (congratulations!) and treat myself a bit, then deal with the next cycle as it comes.

Best of luck with it, sending healing vibes to your cat too x

@Fagin99 hi, I’m a similar age and trying for our first, sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. I don’t think stress is the deal breaker as the other poster said, but it will mess with your cycles. I’ve been trying quite a while now and yes, people are definitely popping out babies everywhere (!!!) and the cycles I thought I knew well remain a surprise in the things they throw at me most months. You’re probably using a tracking app already but I find them useful for being able to refer back to what silly things my cycle does one month to the next, after a few months you build up a good record.

Five months is nothing to be worried about, just make sure you get your basic fertility tests done when it’s been six months. Purely because if anything does show up you’ve got time to sort it.

De stress and DTD on alternate days throughout your cycle. Good luck 🤞🏻

Just wanted to thank everyone who has replied here, your words meant a lot to me when I was feeling very down.

I will definitely try to destress a bit and good idea to try to prepare for the new job.

I think this month I will try dtd every other day as you say, rather than trying to do it around ovulation only.

Thanks again Ladies. You made me feel less alone. X

@Fagin99 Best of luck and please check back to let us know how it's going if you fancy x

Don't get bogged down blaming stress.

People always blame people with issues conceiving for being stressed, and not relaxing and "letting it happen".Urgh.

The truth is those stressed people are rarely stressed at the beginning of trying to conceive! The same as anyone else, they relax and enjoy it and get excited. But it doesn't happen so they get stressed about it. Then some bright spark tells them to go on holiday.

Women get pregnant during rape, while imprisoned. Women got pregnant during every war ever, as slaves. When they were being chased by saber-toothed tigers, they still got pregnant.

The fact that we think we should get pregnant on some special timeline causes more stress than we need, but it's a symptom of the infertility, not the source.