Anyone else dying to start trying?

[Broodyasanything]

This is the first time I have started a post (and I've name changed because I'm a bit embarassed ) so please be nice to me!

My DH and I have agreed that we will start TTC in the summer. This is for various reasons, mostly financial but also to do with him not being quite ready yet.

I'm only having to wait six months, but I can't seem to get it out of my head. It's all I think about and am really distracted. My friends who have kids tell me that I should be enjoying this bit as, if things go well, it's the last peace we'll have for a while and we'll look back on this time fondly, but I can't seem to shake the crashing urge to start trying now. I keep hoping for an accident.

Has anyone else felt like this? What did you do?

I haven't been in the same position as you, but being the sort of person I am, once I have made up my mind to do something, I have to do it straight away, and find it very difficult if I can't.

As a compromise in your head, why not start charting your cycle, read up on getting pg, get fit and healthy and get your body into a optimum condition for conceiving, pregnancy and birth etc etc.

That's exactly what I'm like - once I've decided I want to get on and do it.

I have been reading up and trying to get healthy (losing a bit of weight I need to shift, etc), but it seems to be making me worse not better...

Hi BASA, I understand how you must be feeling right now. Although my situation wasn't the same as yours I did have similar experiences of obsession. My DH and I agreed that we would stop using contraception 1 month before our wedding [3.5 yrs ago]. I fully expected I would be prg within a few months, and I became utterly obsessed.I didn't fall prg for a staggering 18 months [felt like ages to me but not really in real terms]. The more it went on the more obsessed I became. The real point here is you can't really plan when you will fall prg be prepared that when you start trying properly in 6 months it could happen straight away or it could happen first time there is no way of knowing. If you're obsessing now you will be a hundred times worse by then. Because it took 18 months ttc DH, we decided to leave it to fate again this time round and I have fallen prg for a second time. Without trying and after 7 months of fairly irregular sex. Ideally I would have liked a bigger gap but there was no way of guaranteeing we could have one when WE thought the time was right. I think you could try and persuade DH that perhaps you could start trying a little earlier just in case it takes longer than you thought but it would have to be a mutual decision. Don't worry about the life changes your friends are talking about as a result of having kids, although my DS is only 10 months I am loving every minute and don't think or feel I am missing out on anything nor do I mourn for my old life. Nor am I denying I might be singing a different tune in 9 months time when I have two of them! However it is hard work and tiring but it is so rewarding and so worth it. I think as long as you feel that the time is right, having kids will only enrichen your life and open a whole new world to you. Good luck with tcc, all I can advise is that look after yourself in the meantime to give yourself every chance to conceive and if you are on the pill its best to come off it and allow your body to rid itself of the chemicals. x

TBH, as it's something you really want to do, I don't think there is anything you can do to get this out of your head.

Maybe speaking to your dh about it might help? Your dh wants to wait until he is ready, and he thinks he will be ready next year. How do you know in advance that you will be ready? I'm guessing if he feels he will be ready to start next summer, he is probably ready now. Although don't do the whole accident thing, he will spot it from a mile!

We've talked about it quite a lot. He thinks I'm sweet, but isn't really budging on the timing. It's partly to do with the fact that he will be more settled in his job then, so better able to take the strain on earning for a while.

WTB, thank you for sharing your experience. I know that it could take a while (some of DH's family have had problems too, although his parents had three accidents!)which I think is part of the resaon I'm so impatient to start!

Don't worry, I wouldn't do an accident. DH would kill me!

Re the pill, what's the latest thinking on this? I asked the nurse at the last pill check up and she said you only need a month, to have a 'real' period. I've heard others say allow a few months, but the Zina West book says try straight away because many women are extra fertile just after finishing.

God, I'm obsessed already. Perhaps I need a hobby. Anyone know one that could totally absorb me for six months?

Sorry, but 'problems too' I meant, I know it could take a while, plus they've had problems so there's a bit of a family history. I agree with you that 18 months (although it must feel like a lifetime when you're trying) isn't the same as problems.

broody I was in your position last July. I said to DH, maybe we should aim to try for one in September 08, that should give us 13 months to save up. Then within the space of about two weeks I'd managed to convince him that it might take longer and maybe we should start tryng in October (our wedding anniversary) rather than December. By mid-August I'd worked out that I'm entitled to some money with mat. leave so wouldn't have to save up as much as we thought, convinced DH to start that month.

It seemed like once I'd decided to have a baby, that was it, I couldn't wait to start trying. Work out a proper plan for what you really need to do to get your finances in order and if there's a way you can speed things along. Maybe talk to your DH to see if he would be willing to start in three months time, which gives him a minimum of a year to get his head round it. In the meantime, get him eating brazil nuts and loads of healthy fruit and veg so that he's in as tiptop condition as you are.