Normal to find family announcements harder?

[Moancup]

I’ve been completely floored by my SIL announcing that she’s pregnant. I’m fine with friends’ announcements, normally feel joy and relief for them and a slight twinge for myself. I’m not even actively TTC at the moment due to relationship problems. But I’m just so heartbroken and so jealous by this news. How do you get over it without avoiding family forever or telling all and sundry about your business?

I find all announcements tough - but in the case of family I can see it being harder as you're expected to interact with the situation more.

The one thing I would say is that it's not "telling all and sundry about your business" if it's family? They should be there to support you and unless they're toxic people I don't see anything wrong in letting them know. Say that you're happy for them but have been struggling with TTC yourself so apologies if you sometimes have to take a step back to protect yourself.

I am ttc and struggling (going onto cycle 11)and my SIL has announced, including gender. I say congratulations etc but basically I've cut myself off to try and not see or hear things as it is just horrible. She knows we are struggling but in general his side of the family know nothing. Nothing really makes it easier other than saying there's nothing more you can do. 😔

Actually the occasional drink helps-not the best when ttc but she can't have so that's one help!!

Yes my sil was pregnant in Dec, then us in jan, but we had mmc. I really hate being around her now and avoid at all costs. I also find all announcements hard and I know I would be devastated if any close friends announce a pregnancy before me. I know it's so irrational but I'm just so scared that someone will 🥺

Sorry to hear others struggling. It’s DP’s side of the family and they’re definitely not toxic but I don’t feel comfortable talking about this with them. That may have to change if I don’t snap out of this though. But the idea of SIL saying “poor Moancup isn’t as lucky as me” is part of the problem in my mind. Stupid I know.

I think it's harder because of the wider family relationships being the same as they would have been with your own child so you see the parallels/contrasts in reactions if that makes sense. I can manage seeing my niece and nephew with their mum (my SIL) but find it horribly difficult watching them interact with their grandparents (my in laws) as they would also have been my baby's grandparents if it had lived, too many 'might have beens' 😟 That said, after 6 years of waiting, I try and avoid all babies/pregnancies as far as possible, be it friend or family. But for some reason I'm OK with the babies at work (I'm a nursery nurse), context is a funny thing.

I strongly relate to what you say about the would-be grandparents @icklepiglet.

I’m very sorry to hear of your losses.

Moancup I completely understand! Wish I could explain in depth but won't here. But the past year has destroyed me regarding the same announcement. Luckily I'm coming out of the other side but you are really not alone