Dear Mumsnet Friends
I had got to the point that I thought I would never write this... but here goes.
We have been ttc since May 2004. We were a bit nervous about it happening straight away (!) but as the months passed those worries shifted to concerns that ttc wasn't as easy as all that. Tests, prods, investigative surgery all showed up nothing. Unexplained. Tears and depression followed as friends announced pregnancies and births - I know you know the enormous frustration - and mumsnet has been vital, without you all I would have cracked (even more than I did).
We never imagined we'd need to but, at 38, we gave IVF a go. Physically it was OK, emotionally it was a roller coaster. The negative result was inevitable when our two fertilised eggs simply stopped dividing at two cells before the transfer. The consultant said it could be indicative of poor quality with all my eggs. More tears.
We decided will had little to loose giving IVF another go (well except the small detail of £5K!).
I did not stim well, got an enormous 4.5cm cyst but we choose to carry on despite suggestions from the clinic we should abandon.
3 out of the 4 eggs fertilised using ICSI. Two were transferred on day two. One was good quality and 4 cells........
Yesterday we had a six week scan and saw the miracle of a little heartbeat. It feels like a dream - thank goodness we have pictures.
It is along way to go but it seems I may finally graduate from the conception board.
I sincerely hope this gives you hope. Bucket loads of hope. I know there are many, many days when hope is hard to come by ? my love and thoughts are with you.
Love Choc x