Waiting to TTC, worried and obsessed, need advice

[Becks2021x]

Hello! I’m posting here because I really need advice/wise words.
For various reasons that cannot be helped or changed, I need to wait to TTC until the autumn. It’ll be a delay of over a year in total, from when I first wanted to TTC. I’m 34, and so worried about all the time that is passing and my ability to conceive and have a healthy baby. I know others have perfectly healthy pregnancies and babies far older than me - I do not mean to sound flippant. It’s not about my age - my worries are that I’ve missed out on over a year of TTC. Everyone around me is pregnant or has recently given birth. It’s hard to see them and talk to them. Every celeb going seems to be pregnant too. I’m becoming obsessed with this and feeling very hopeless about my chances, which is very silly I know but I’ve held these feelings off for months. Now they’re consuming me. To the point that I am here - on a TTC thread - when I’m nowhere near being able to actually TTC. I really need some straight talking advice or words of wisdom to get myself out of this bad headspace.

Hi op!!
I think everyone has been obsessed with ttc!!
I know when time nears around 7-8dpo, I become a testing freak. I know I'm silly but I can't stop myself so I have a whole bunch of those cheapie tests lol
I think in your situation it's important to keep in mind that you shouldn't stress over things you cannot control. You cannot start till the fall, so tell yourself that your time is coming but right now nothing can be done so enjoy the summer coming up... And a glass of wine here and there. 😁
I'm 37 and I'm the last of my friends to have a baby, plus all social media is full of pregnant celebs. It absolutely gets to me. But I gotta remind myself that we are doing everything in our power to try and have a baby and when it's meant to be for us it will come. Or maybe it won't. But we won't go down without a fight.
Maybe try removing yourself from the conception message boards if it's hard for you? 😜
Either way, fall will be here before you know it. Hang in there.

Thank you Vix! Yes, I should probably leave Mumsnet for a while 🤣 wishing you the best of luck with your journey! It’s nice to know I’m not alone in how I feel x

The feeling is like no other. I'm not sure why you have to wait but it is horrible seeing everyone else be in a place that you want to be. I've been trying and I've had 10 announcements last month. It broke me. One is a family member. There's no escaping it. I have found that I don't want to do anything or see anyone because of it. Its literally everywhere I go. I started listening to a gym podcast thinking ill focus more on myself and continuing to be healthy. Well wasn't the 4th episode about how the presenter was pregnant and how things in the gym changed. It's just non stop. I don't know how you can learn to deal with it. My grandma always says passing time doesn't heal but it helps

@Loops01wow, that sounds like an incredibly difficult month, I’m sorry 😞 there really is no escaping it, is there - and then I feel guilty for not being happy for people on top of feeling crap! I’ve stopped using Instagram and Facebook recently because some friends share constant updates - and it has helped a little. Wishing you luck on your journey x

I went through fb etc recently and have unfollowed a lot of people. It helps. Some days are worse than others. Taking up a new hobby or focusing on another goal helps but it'll always be at the back of your mind. The nights are the hardest I find

@Loops01 well done for unfollowing. I feel selfish sometimes but I have to do what’s best for me! When I’m feeling particularly sturdy I log on and bulk “like” photos, then leave. My eyes are truly opened to how difficult fertility could be and I’ll never post about motherhood if I become a mother as much as some of my friends do. I hear you on the nights - Monday night I couldn’t sleep for some reason and it was all I could think about!