TTC #2 for over a year at 36

[teateaandcoffee]

Hi everyone,

Just after a bit of support really, feeling really low as it's now been a year without a sniff of a pregnancy.
I've had my second progesterone test this week, the first was inconclusive (wish I'd asked for the actually reading now as it was the receptionist and she told me she didn't know what it meant). Now I'm panicking if I booked it for the right day, I had my LH peak on the Thursday and booked it for the Thursday after, so I'm hoping 6 days would be enough for a reading. But I'm not sure!
Just generally feeling rubbish and feeling like it's never going to happen. We have a daughter who is 2, I got pregnant about 3 cycles of trying after a miscarriage, which I got pregnant first time with.
I'm just feeling fed up, I wanted to start trying for our first as soon as we got married when I was 31 but my FIL died suddenly (think call to hospital, FIL on life support and then 12 hours later we are saying goodbye and turning machines off). Because of the shock I wanted to leave it til we were in a better place so waited about a year.
I just feel like time is ticking by and I'm so unsure about next steps, I don't know much about IVF or if I'll need it, I just have a very gut feeling that something is wrong, I don't understand why this has happened. I feel like I've been pretty blase and relaxed up until now mentally, I've still been doing ovulation tests, trying to exercise and eat well but I've now had enough really and genuinely feel like it's too much and I don't want to be miserable ttc #2 when we have a lovely little girl. I am considering stopping at 1 as I can't cope with it.

Anyone else ttc #2 for over a year and in their mid / late 30s? What's your situation?

Hello.

New here but long time reader of Mumsnet.

Sorry you are feeling low. TTC is not easy journey especially if it takes longer to happen.

I turned 35 this year and have a DS who will be 6 this year. I've had a MMC last September 2020 and had surgery October at being roughly over 12 weeks. Been trying ever since and no luck.

Waiting for my blood test results and DH semen analysis (had to push my GP for this). Had my blood test on day 3 and day 20. DH and I have been ttc#2 since last year Feb 2020, and it has been tough each month. Just started cycle 8 after MMC on Thursday and was in a very low mood, as DH and I thought we would have got our BFP this time round but sadly no.

With the blood test, I remember I changed it 3 times as 'day 21', should be 7 days before your expected period. Got to admit, it was a nightmare as after the MMC, my cycles are everywhere from 23-27 days but luteal phase has always been 11-12 days, only this month it was 12-13 days. No idea what's going on so hopefully the blood tests can shed some light into this all.

Sending hugs x

Hi @teateaandcoffee I’m in pretty much the same situation! 37 (38 soon..) and have been TTC #2 for 18 months. Had a miscarriage at 12 months and now trying again. It’s so depressing, you have my sympathies.
I am further down the line with investigations and now under the care of a private consultant.
Day 21 blood test needs to be done 7dpo so reckon that sounds right and will tell you whether you’ve ovulated. It needs to be over 30. I would also ask for day 3 test to measure FSH/LH. If your FSH is 10 or over it indicated DOR.
I do know how difficult this is and would think it was a brave decision if you decided to settle for what you have. I would certainly get your bloods complete tho, you might find it’s an easy fix!
I would also say that I’ve had times when I’ve felt desperate, now I’m still continuing with the journey but feel a little more at peace with it (until my I had 3 second pregnancy announcements in quick succession and cried all afternoon!). I guess I just found the longer it goes on the more I get used to being a family of 3.
Wishing you the best of luck x

@EveryMumDay sorry about your mmc, it’s so tough. It sounds like we are at similar stages with investigations, my partner has an appointment for dropping off his sample in a couple of weeks. I’ve had the day 2-5 tests already but the receptionist didn’t mention the results so I’m assuming they want the full picture before we discuss anything.

It’s just so tough, and I’d never even heard of secondary infertility til about 6 months ago, I’ve never known anyone affected so it was really a shock.

I hope we both have some positive news regarding tests, I can’t stand waiting for results, I would like some answers whether it’s good or bad news.

@Kitte321 I completely feel every you have described. And as I made a lot of new mum friends with daughter as a baby there seems to be a constant stream of pregnancy announcements from the two WhatsApp groups I’m in with sibling #2s.
I did have the day 2-5 bloods done but not been told the results yet, that was over a month ago. I think they are waiting to get a clear day ‘21’ result. My cycles aren’t very consistent, I have a lot of spotting pre af, my luteal phase is the same but my ovulation day varies each month from start of af.
It is just hard to stay buoyant, normally I can chug along fine and then I will just have a melt down over it all.
What were you’re steps to going private if you don’t mind me asking? We could afford (at a stretch but absolutely willing to make sacrifices for it) but I’m not sure when to make the step.

@teateaandcoffeeIt is very hard to stay positive! I think it’s total normal to have good and bad days (that’s certainly the rollercoaster I’ve been on!).
Ultimately with corona etc I couldn’t wait for the NHS. I had several appointments cancelled and my experience of the GP was pretty bad. Test results were labelled normal when they weren’t. Going private has just given me the control back.
They did an AMH and AFC (to analyse ovarian reserve) and the scan checked all was normal. Then I’ve had ovulation stimulation and progesterone as I had a luteal defect.
It does cost! And whilst I haven’t had success yet I do feel I’m closer to it. What a shit journey it is!

@teateaandcoffee and @Kitte321, stay strong ladies. We have come this far, surely we will get some good news this year. It doesn't help with the pandemic, adds being in the edge.

I certainly want to go down the private route, as GP are far too slow and I feel time is slipping away for me. After DH and I get our results in a few days, we will see about going private as I just need someone else to take on my nervousness to bring me some calmness. Least this way, I feel someone is looking into it and get some support as well as answers to what I have no idea right now what is going on.

Once I get some answers, I'll provide an update Totally agree, it's a long journey but hoping we get our miracles very soon.

Thanks @EveryMumDay and I’m sorry to hear you are having such a hard time of it also. I had a MMC in Dec and it was truly horrendous.
I certainly recommend the private route as it does quite quickly give you answers and the opinion of a specialist.
Good luck to both of you. I really hope you get positive news soon x

Thank you @Kitte321 and @EveryMumDay
I hope 2021 is the year it happens, it would be lovely!

I had my results back today and asked them about the previous tests, my first 21 day result was 23 nmol, the last one was 26 nmol. I've asked to do one more test and shift it 2 days later than this time, and hope the upward trend works.
Husband's semen analysis is this week so hopefully not long til we get a clearer picture. FSH and Thyroid were normal.

I'm feeling a little better today, I enjoy being at work and out and about so it's taken my mind off things

@everydaymum definitely come back and let me know how you get on, I need some moral support as this is all new to me! x

@teateaandcoffee, that's great to hear you are feeling better today :) definitely helps to work and be out and about to keep minds occupied with something else. it's great you got your results. Least you know now and can decide where you want to go from here and you already pushed them to do another test. Hope your DH is ok too. I have my fingers crossed for us all. Definitely, will update as soon as I find out tomorrow, my GP will phone me (I'm ready on guard with my list of questions). Yes, all this process is new to me too but least finding out brings me closer to know what is happening with this crazy body of mine

@teateaandcoffee so pleased you’re feeling better and your results are reassuring. You just have keep moving forward don’t you.
I really hope you both get your BFP soon.
@EveryMumDay defo report back and massive luck!
I’m in the TWW so just plodding along hoping for a miracle! xx

@Kitte321 crossing fingers for you and hope the tww flies by. Indulge in some good treats

Hello ladies.

Short update from receiving mine and dh results. All came back fine except the prostergene she needs to query it which she's emailed the relevant people and my DH results are fine too. She mentioned she's not a specialist in these areas so she will email the relevant people asking a few questions. However, I requested for our reports and we'll collect them so we can give them to our private doctors to review. So now it's the waiting game again and searching for a private clinic.

@EveryMumDay that’s good that you can now start finding a private solution, and hopefully (for me as well) the more info gathered through nhs testing the better.

I’ve been looking into over counter progesterone boosters but other than standard fertility supplements like pregnancare and conceive plus I’m a little wary of taking something unproven that may do more harm than good.
Are either of you currently taking anything or been recommended anything for progesterone?

Hello! Great news that you have the results @EveryMumDay. Is she suggesting progesterone is low? Mine came back as borderline so the private consultant has prescribed letrozole for stronger ovulation.
Good idea to give the results over in their entirety, the specialists may pick up on something.
@teateaandcoffee I’ve actually been given progesterone suppositories now. I do know that vit b6 and high strength vit C can help some (didn’t me and so my luteal phase was short).

@teateaandcoffee, I'm not taking anything for progesterone. Just have the pregnacare for him and her tablets, which has all the vitamins needed. Find it easier to have that than multiple tablets. Been having them since 20th Feb 2021. Before I used to take folic acid and vitamin d separately. Still having pomegranate juice, Brazilian nuts, pineapple core during 1-5 dpo.

@Kitte321, to be honest she doesn't know about progesterone so she had to email to ask what it means, which is rather frustrating. Hopefully, I'll be able to collect the results and look at them in detail (do a lot of googling).

Cannot wait to get a private consultant to look through the results and guide us what to do next. My luteal phase is always about 11-12 days but this month it was 13 days and I thought I could be pregnant as was 1 day late and no symptoms of periods. How wrong was I that it hit me last week Thursday

I took evening primrose capsules the month I conceived. Also had been reading the book it starts with the egg and using some of the supplements in it. Good luck everyone

I just wanted to jump on here to give you ladies a bit of hope. I was in exactly your position when trying for number 3 at 37. Never had issues with conceiving but all of a sudden we just couldn't make it happen. 2 years and not even a sniff of a bfp, I had an appointment with a gynacologist about the length of my periods (often lasting 10+ days due to constant spotting) Progesterone was always borderline on day 21 tests so i asked him if he could prescribe me progesterone pessaries to see if it would help with the spotting since all scans and other tests came back with no issues. He agreed, the first month I had a 5 day period with no spotting and the second month I got my bfp!! Was such a shock after feeling completely helpless and at a loss as to why it wasn't happening for us. I 100% believe that it was the progesterone that did it for me, and I'm not saying that it would necessarily work for you but I just wanted to say don't give up. Sometimes it feels like it will just never happen, but it will x

Thank you ladies :)

Has anyone taken B6 vitamin tablets to increase progesterone?

Having primrose oil/tablets, was this taken before ovulation peak or take it daily throughout?

Forgive my ignorance.

@EveryMumDay I took a B complex a couple of times throughout the 2+ years of trying. The first time I stuck at it for a few months and it seemed to help with the spotting and increase luteal phase by a day maybe, but not necessarily enough to make me feel I should keep taking it. I think I only took it in the second half of my cycle so it wouldn't interfere with ovulation, but can't quite remember. The second time was around the same time as I started with the progesterone and I'm still taking it now as I don't want to risk stopping just in case it is doing something!!

Thanks @Baileys123 and @burtle4
I will try evening primrose for now and definitely ask about the progesterone perseries after the next test.

Hello, I’m jumping on this bandwagon almost a year later. Just wondered how everyone posting here got on with ttc (if it’s not too triggering to talk about it).
I’m 36 and been ttc for our second for a year now and a bit demoralised tbh. We have said we will try for another 6-12 months, then look into adoption. I really want my little boy to have a sibling, he’s 4 now and I wish we’d tried sooner, but birth trauma, the pandemic and moving house meant we were only ready to try when we did. It’s the not knowing if it will happen or not that’s so hard.
Sending positive thoughts to all xxx

Morning sickness and ulcerative colitis

I'm 8 weeks pregnant with awful nausea and only occasional vomiting, I also have UC so on a strict diet. Anyone else in the same boat? My main issue is that I can't eat grains, starches or sugar due to my UC (on the Specific carbohydrate diet) and all I want is to eat bread and dry crackers and starches (nut bread just isn't the same and I can't stand the smell now). I feel so sick and my BMI is borderline underweight as I just can't stomach much veg, eggs, fish, meat, nuts, lentils and this is normally the bulk of my diet. I'm living off tiny portions of what I can force myself to have between wretching as well as cheese, lettuce, fruit and yogurt (& added soaked oats as I got desperate). I'm so hungry and feel utterly horrendous and fatigued. I just want a sandwich and salt and vinegar crisps!! 😩I feel like I'm complaining sorry, I'm so happy to finally be pregnant with my second at 36 after 2 years of trying, just struggling and worried about my BMI. Anyone been in a similar situation? Thanks :)