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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

How do you deal with disappointment?

7 replies

positivepantson · 02/05/2021 09:44

Just what it says in the subject I guess...I'm 30 and just finished month 7 TTC - got my period this morning. The day after my best friend told me she's pregnant after 1 month of trying :-(
Have regular 27/28 day cycles, use OPKs to track ovulation and get between 4 and 7 flashing faces before my LH surge on day 14/15 every month (for the last 6 months) had some basic tests and an ultrasound which haven't shown anything of interest. Using pressed/conceive plus lube on days when I could use a little more help and take pre conception vitamins. We aim for sex 2/3 times a week, probably more in the fertile week. I feel like there's nothing more we can do but we've gone past that key "6 months" and still no hint of pregnancy. You don't seem to hear many "between 6 and 12 month" people, more those who have caught in less than 6 or those still trying after a year - the thought of another 6 months of this feeling when my period arrives makes me feel sick :-( The only thing I can think of is that I am about 1/1.5 stone overweight which I am working on loosing. Any tips or advice either for TTC or for dealing with the disappointment would be so appreciated!! X

OP posts:
ChinChilly · 02/05/2021 09:52

Hi @positivepantson I don’t have any words of advice just a hand hold! I’m in a similar position came off the pill last June, my GP doesn’t think there is anything wrong as ovulation and AF is regular but I’ve got a scan on Tuesday so see it anything is going on.

The only thing I would say is that doctors say things like blood results are ‘normal’ when they may not be...such as TSH, my TSH is 4.1 which is ‘normal’ but it should be around 2.5 for TTC get your exact results from your GP if you can then do some research.

I’ve also got a bout 1 stone to lose so I’ve joined the gym, focused on my health and thrown the OPKs out (for now! Haha)

Good luck OP 🤞🏼

positivepantson · 02/05/2021 10:05

Ahh I've joined the gym too and doing couch to 5 km so hoping that will help. I've had a bit of a research on my tests and I couldn't find anything really. My TSH is 1.7 so that looks ok. My only one that was off was my B12 which was mega low but I have injections now lol very 12 weeks (and have had 3 lots of these now so should be okay now). Had my most recent injection Thursday so maybe this will be my month...I seem to have lost all that initial optimism though :-( Fingers crossed for us both!!

OP posts:
ChinChilly · 02/05/2021 10:12

@positivepantson your TSH is good then...hopefully the b12 will help. I was really low on vitamin D aswell even though I was taking a supplement. I totally get the whole losing optimism thing...I feel exactly the same I feel like I can’t be bother with TTC anymore 😕

Chanel05 · 02/05/2021 17:05

@positivepantson eesh, been there.

It took me 8 months to conceive in my first pregnancy and it felt like forever at the time. I then had a missed miscarriage and it took me another 8 months to conceive again. Both times I'd gotten to the given up stage, where I truly believed it'd never happen for me.

I had private fertility tests after 6 months the second time (totally unnecessary of course because I'd fallen pregnant naturally within the 12 month mark previously) and as expected for many couples in late 20s, we had excellent fertility. The consultant put me on 'expectant management' i.e., she thought it'd be overwhelmingly likely I'd be pregnant within 6 months and that I should not get any fertility treatment whatsoever, I didn't need it . I was pregnant 8 weeks later with my now dd.

My first month ttc to giving birth was 27 months and it was agonising and frustrating ttc. You too however, are also overwhelmingly likely to be pregnant by November and avoiding Xmas drinks! You don't hear about as many people taking 6-12 months because people who take only 2 months or better still, conceive first time love to tell you that fact, whether you wanted to know or not!!

Ditch the lube, ditch the ovulation sticks and just dtd every other day for the next cycle. You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself and that is counterproductive when ttc. If you test early, just don't test until you're certain you're late for pregnancy. The stark single line can feel so emotionally painful and you convince yourself that you're only 10dpo and it could still turn positive. For some it will, for most it won't and implantation would have likely happened by then.

Good luck and be kind to yourself. I'm sure you know this but it is really totally normal to take a year to fall pregnant.

Rubi87 · 02/05/2021 17:56

Hi OP I know how frustrating and disheartening it can be. The only thing I did which I believe made a difference is stopped drinking completely ( you may not drink anyway) but I stopped and lost a little weight as a result and then got my bfp. Xx

LemonDrizzle44 · 02/05/2021 19:26

Hi. I'm in a similar position. I'm 32, came off the pill last February to get cycles/hormones back to normal. I'm now on cycle 9 of TTC. I'm feeling really down today about it all. I'm also about 1-2 stone overweight which I know doesn't help. I use OPKs and track BBT. We DTD on all the right days and No BFP, not even a hint of one. So many of my friends have had babies recently, or just announced pregnancies and I feel so bad for hating. DP is working away from home for the next month or two. I'm planning on losing some weight and will ask GP for some basic tests.

suzy124 · 02/05/2021 20:15

Hey, don't have any advice I'm afraid but in a similar situation. Been ttc since October, using OPKs since Feb and no hint of BFP for me either. With every passing month it gets harder and feels like it will never happen. Just got to keep trying though because in reality it could happen any given month and giving up simply not an option. Hang in there x

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