I need to vent before I blow

[calamitykay]

Ok so last year dp and I had a discussion about us trying for a family. At first I was like "meh well yeah ok maybe we could try but not try - no pressure" and all was good.

Then January comes and so does a period. Hmmm I'm sure I was on about two weeks ago - maybe I'm wrong though. Hmmm I should probably start tracking.

So that's what I do. I start tracking. All good.

Then the next blob comes. This time 25 days later instead of 24. And it lasts for two days. Hmmm that's not right. Maybe it was an odd one. I should probably research this.

So that's what I do, I research. My research suggests OPKs. So I get some. All good.

Then I use said OPKs. All high no peak. Hmmm, maybe I got duds or by missed something. I know I'll get another brand and compare the two.

So that's what I do. I buy another brand and now use two OPKs. This time All good.

Then I use both brands and one says I O and the other says nope. Hmmm. Curious! I should research this one too. So off I tootle into research land again.

Then comes the BBT thermometer. And another twenty five gazillion apps, which I narrow down to two. And the next blob comes but this time it's 25 days later and not 24. I'm also going to be super prepared now and start taking CQ10. Fantastic!

The. I start tracking. And it's all good! A bit rocky but things start to fall into place for the first month ever. All good because it says I'm O and my blob comes 26 days later and now lasts for 3 days (four if you count the last heavy spotting day as a super light flow).
Woohoooo another day gained!! Except for one tiny issue. I notice low bbts...

But ah ha! My research says this might not mean anything. So I brush this one aside and off I go into the next tracking adventure.

I start tracking....hmmm my temps are staying the same - but higher than last month. Hmmmm....But that's all good because now I have my little OPK weapons...

Which read high...and high...and high...except brand two which just says I'm dead...but that's ok because the app says I O on cd12....except my temps barely rise...they rise enough, but only just...then they go down...then they go back up - just....

Ok so now I'm stumped again. So I turn to my trusty friend - the research journals....

Then it happens.

🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 FML so am I hypothyroid - Dr Jumbo thinks maybe but Dr Jumble thinks no I probably just have low progesterone. Dr Knowitall disagrees with both though and thinks i probably have fibroids or PCOS. And as for Dr Trend, he definitely thinks I have adrenal fatigue.

But what they do all agree on is to just. keep. temping.

FML 🤬 F 🤬 M 🤬 L 🤬 AARRGGHHH.

So off I go and order I progesterone test kit this morning.....ok I'm done now. 😁

Oh my... that's the thing though isn't it. There's not really such a thing as trying but not trying.

A friend told me she was waiting until the time was right (bit more time in her job, some weddings to pass, holidays) and then she'd try. But in a relaxed way obviously.

But if she's waiting for the perfect time, of course she'll go mental if it doesn't happen straight away.

Exactly 😂

If nothing else this process so far has maybe highlighted some health issues I might need to pay more attention to. But the process seems to be shifting from a casual yeah let's have a family one day soon to a more and more worrisome can I even get pregnant?

Such is life and it's need to constantly freak me out.

Oh my you and I are in exactly the same boat!! I have also come to the 'thyroid' conclusion! I've had blood tests that were ok, in normal range but sub-optimal (not that NHS docs care much about sub-optimal) so now I'm pushing for a full thryoid panel of blood tests. Not just T4 and TSH.

I think TTC has also made me a hypochondriac because I'm focusing on my body and health in such an intense way.

Baby making is really no fun!

You're so right - it isn't!!

I'm exactly the same. Most recent obsession was looking for way too long at my pee in the morning and wondering if that would tell me anything 😂

I haven't gone to the NHS yet. I'm still a little worried that they would laugh in my face for being paranoid and tell me nothing is wrong. Or worse, tell me everything is wrong (!!) so you've been much braver than me on that count.