Help - TTC Sadness 😔

[Mwilliams31]

I had a mc last year at 12 weeks (blighted ovum) and we have been ttc again, so far with no luck. Does anyone else just cry and feel so sad every month when they get their period or a negative pregnancy test? It’s only been 3 months of trying but I am feeling so disheartened as the first conception seemed so easy, and my other baby would have been due in just five and a half weeks. My periods have been every 28 days but I’m on day 30 with no period yet so thought I was in this month, but got a negative CB digital this morning sad xx

I have pinpointed that my worst day is 11dpo. That's the day when I struggle the most. I get frustrated and sad, some tears usually when I get ten minutes to myself.

It's incredibly hard, especially after loss, especially when due dates are looming.

@SemiFeralDalek I just feel like it’s never going to happen for us 😔 trying to stay positive and think what’s meant to be will be x

@Mwilliams31 sorry to hear of your mc.

I understand your feelings. I had a mmc in 2019 after 8 months of trying and I was very depressed afterwards. I wanted so badly to be pregnant again by the due date of that baby but I wasn't. I put unbelievable stress and pressure on myself. Once that day was over, I fell pregnant the very next month, though it did take another 8 months after my mmc.

Sorry to read this. Your not alone. I had a mc last year at 12+4 it would have been my due date around now. I naively thought I'd have fallen pregnant by now so I struggled abit over the weekend and felt so angry about the whole thing. When I'm feeling a little more rational though I let myself have sad days and remind myself we're a step closer to getting our miracles. I wish I'd not read about how quickly it happens for some people after miscarriage though, as lovely as it is for those people I felt even more pressure and disappointment. Sending positive vibes!

Yes to what @Chanel05 and @Emilou89 said, I had a miscarriage last year too and thought I'd be pregnant again by the time of my due date. I was very sad last month that I wasn't. I'm finding it harder to be relaxed about it, and last month I did cry when I got my period (and then felt very silly for doing so) but I think it was also because I'd also really put lots of effort in last month as well and so was really hopeful.

It ‘only’ took 7 months to conceive my DD. I wanted a close age gap with 2 children but didn’t feel ready until the start of this year (shes 16 months now). It’s seeming like the same again; just no luck. Doing OPKS and tracking CM but still no luck.

I have a friends who’s just accidentally fallen pregnant after being with her new partner for only a few weeks! My SIL has 3 kids all conceived within the first cycle. I’m in a group of mums with similar age children and there must be 5/6 of them which are pregnant again now and a couple who have recently had another baby.

I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong or why it’s not easy for us. It makes me so sad; even though I know there are people in more unfortunate situations, like MC’d like yourself, and people
Who have tried for years and need IVF ect to help conceive. It makes me feel selfish for being sad about it but I am so ready for another baby.

@Chanel05 @Emilou89 @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 @24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed that is the the upsetting thing for me...my baby would have been due 4th June, and I really want to be pregnant on this date however I only have this month left to do that. It is so hard and I have out so much pressure on myself! My friend is due a week before I would have been and as it’s her first baby I’m terrified it will be born on my due date. I am so sorry for all your losses, hope we can bring each other some comfort in these hard times. Xx

I know exactly what you are feeling. Doesn’t it suck to be a women sometimes?
We have been trying for roughly 2 years and had a miscarriage at 8weeks in August. I am finding it particularly hard as a friend got pregnant in the same month and now has a beautiful baby girl. Of course I am happy for them, but it’s just a constant reminder of what could have been 😢 I can’t bring myself to go visit as I feel like I may just cry.
It doesn’t help that we have had disappointment month after month. I feel mentally exhausted 😴 I feel like I think about it constantly...a vicious cycle of preparation-hope-waiting-symptom spotting -disappointment but now I also feel like I’m sad most of the time...😟

Today I decided to put my energy in to an Instagram blog to document our conception journey after our mc - would be grateful if you would give it a follow :)
rain.beforerainbow

@Tryingforourmissingpiece really sorry about miscarriage and that you’re struggling. Two good friends got pregnant at a similar time, although both of theirs are progressing and due in a few weeks, so I know a bit of how you feel. I’ve found honestly the easiest way for me is to rip the bandaid off and be around them right from the start, see them, etc otherwise it builds up into a thing I want to avoid. Naturally they’re excited and want to talk about it etc, and I do find myself really forcing a smile at times and to act naturally, but the more i do it, the easier it is

I could have written this, I really struggled in the lead up to my due date after my first mmc. I was totally overwhelmed and just so sad. I wish I could tell you have to feel better but I felt like that until the due date passed, then I felt a little better, o think I was so desperate to be pregnant again by my due date I was putting too much pressure on myself and once it past it was a little freeing. It’s really tough xx

I am so sorry you had a miscarriage last year but please don't be too downhearted at the moment, three months is not very long to be trying to conceive and many people take longer than that. Yes, I know some do become pregnant immediately but plenty don't.

Good luck.

Hi. Sorry for how you're feeling. I'm very much feeling the pain of not conceiving again this month and have now made an appointment to check my fertility. I have no idea how long it will take in the middle of a pandemic to even get a face to face appointment :(

I'm not aware of anything that could be affecting my fertility save for knowing I have a pinhole os (opening to cervix). Does anyone have any knowledge of this causing fertility issues and know of anything I can do to try help conceive without medical intervention?

Thanks for the good advice @A1b2c3d4e5f6g7. You are right, the longer I leave it, the harder it will be.

@Mwilliams31 followed your insta today, hopefully know that we are not the only ones going through it might help a bit...

@TTCat35 Let me know what happens in your appointment. I’ve been putting off making one myself for several reasons a) middle of a pandemic b) can I bear to put myself through being poked and prodded etc when I’m feeling a little fragile...? 😬

@Tryingforourmissingpiece thanks so much, just want to create a community for people who have experienced the same thing and can support each other through this journey ❤️