Devastated/upset

[Danielle241996]

I just feel like I need someone to talk to that understands what I’m going through. In April 2020 I had an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in my right Fallopian tube being removed due to rupturing. In June 2020 I began trying to get pregnant again, in March 2021 I found out I was pregnant, went for my 6 week scan everything seemed fine. Started to have some spotting and pain at around 7 weeks - booked a private scan and my baby’s heart had stopped beating and I was told I was experiencing a missed miscarriage. My miscarriage is now complete and I’ve been bleeding on and off for the past 10 days. I can’t help but feel pure anger and frustration that I’m going through loss again. I just desperately want to hold my own baby and I can’t help but feel like it just isn’t going to happen for me. I’m also feeling terribly alone and as though my partner doesn’t fully understand what I’m going through. Sorry for the long post I just felt like I needed to write some of my thoughts and feelings down.

Hi @Danielle241996,

I'm so sorry for your loss. hugs

Take time to grieve and take good care of yourself.

For what it's worth, I read many stories of women on here that have conceived after having a miscarriage and with just one fallopian tube.

I'm sorry for your losses OP. Mine have been the other way around - 2 miscarriages and then an ectopic needing surgery. It broke my heart. We're back trying again now after some tests and recovering from surgery. I wish I had a positive outcome to reassure you with but I can at least let you know you aren't alone.

So sorry fir your losses - Big hugs. You'll get there, it takes a few attempts sometimes, grieve, then get your determined head on and look forwards, not backwards. Good luck

Sorry for your loss OP, it sounds like you’ve been through such a lot. Tommy’s pregnancy support and SANDS charity have lots of helpful info on their websites about pregnancy loss. Take it easy and give yourself time to feel what you need to feel 💜.

So sorry to hear about this OP. It's so hard, because the grief from your loss is compounded by the stress and anxiety that this will never happen for you. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy journey

@Literaryseed sorry to hear of your losses too lovely, wishing you all the luck. If you don’t mind me asking did your GP refer you for tests? I asked my local midwife whether they would include my Ectopic pregnancy in the ‘three losses’ which they insist you have before they can give you any investigations and she said she wasn’t sure. I think it’s so unfair that they expect women to have to endure a number of miscarriages before they provide support :(.

@SlothMamaToBe I’ve not heard of SANDS so I will definitely take a look, thank you :).

Thank you everyone for your kind words and encouragement. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this journey xx

I'm so sorry for your losses, it's very hard and many people don't understand. I also had a miscarriage and then an ectopic, the pain was so much I couldn't bear trying again for another 2 years. I am now 33 weeks pregnant and have a 2 year old as well so it is possible, and while the pain isn't as intense as before, I haven't forgotten and often think of the first 2. Take care and big hugs

@Asiama I’m sorry to hear that you also went through a difficult journey. Thank you for sharing, it’s always lovely to hear success stories. Wishing you a safe delivery x

@Danielle241996 yes they included it in my 3 so I've been under the recurrant miscarriage. They've done loads of tests but not found anything so we're back to square one really x

So sorry to hear this. Although I had my first baby without any trouble I had three miscarriages in a row trying for our second.

Then finally we had dd2 and then had another two miscarriages trying for number 3.

All my miscarriages were unexplained. I was lucky enough to get referred after two and although they couldn't find a reason, one thing the clinic did stress very strongly was to keep on trying.

We did keep going and despite miscarriage no 3 I am so glad we did now because I have two wonderful daughters. We decided after the 5th m/c that baby number 3 wasn't to be but so so grateful for the two I have.

Please stay strong and keep going, your chances are still excellent.