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Conception

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Original poster

Anybody had C-section 2nd time round, how did you cope with DC1?

16 replies

Tapster · 12/11/2007 22:14

DD just turned 1, DH very keen to try for no.2, I had an emergency C-section last time and it is likely that I will have to have another C-section next time. Last time I could stay indoors all day if nobody was about to push the pram. They say 6 weeks before pram pushing and such like, and I didn't feel right for about another 4 weeks after that to be honest. I will probably have 3 weeks of help but I don't have any family nearby that can/willing to help.

What do you do? I would be able to ask some local friends to take DD to the park etc... I know its only 3 weeks of DD's life. Wish I could plan it so that the next one arrives in the spring/summer so at least DD can play outside in the garden.

OP posts:

whomovedmychocolate · 12/11/2007 22:17

Hmm, I'm in the same boat but I was up and running round two hours after the section.

Personally, I'd say you are tougher now because you are a parent and you get the soft ages roughed off through lack of sleep, constant worrying etc.

Seriously, whatever happened, you would cope, you know you would.

Plus three weeks post partum, you are right, everything is settling down nicely and you're ready to join back in the mummying, with two rather than one.

Of course whether you want to have a two year old and a newborn is a different matter?

Beadgirl · 12/11/2007 22:18

I did...
DH was off for a week
MIL came for a week
My parents came for a week
Then did the same all over again, so that took me to week 6.
Friends came and we all went out for a walk...friend pushing DD in buggy and carrying DS in sling and me ambling along! lol

Moomin · 12/11/2007 22:21

Hold your horses - you're not even pregnant yet! You say your dh is keen to try again - what about you?
Even if you start trying now and you caught straight away dd would be nearly 2 when the baby arrived, and you might take much longer than that to get preg anyway.

I've had 2 sections, albeit electives, but they were both very different in recovery terms, so you might find you can do more than you did the first time post-section anyway. Plus, it's not a certainty you'd have another section.

Top and bottom is that you can't really plan for anything until it's happening. Think of the situation if you started trying tomorrow and got preg this month... and then anything past that is just speculation and not worth getting het up about. It took us 3 months to get preg with dd1 and 2 years with dd2... not saying you'll be the same but what I mean is that none of it is an exact science.

Only start trying when you're ready. If it freaks you out too much at the moment, then out it on hold for a little while. The emergency c-s is probably still all a bit fresh maybe.

TheMadHouse · 12/11/2007 22:25

I managed with a newborn and a 15 month old. DH had two weeks off work and that was that.

I agree that you are toughter and also a planned section is much easier than an emergency one (I have had both) and you find ways round things.

I found the walks did me good, that I handed both over to DH the moment he walked in and that I esd just so blessed and also so tired that it didnt matter

scrummymummy1965 · 12/11/2007 23:06

Hi Tapster. I managed it. DH saved up 3 weeks holiday entitlement so he could be around. I did not want a 2nd C Section and went into hospital with that in mind however in the end I had no choice.

I think 2nd time around you tend to get better quicker - because you have to. As long as you try and have a rest in the afternoons once DH has gone back to work you will sail through. Does DD have an afternoon nap? If she does then put baby down and get your feet up.

youpeskykids · 12/11/2007 23:23

Hi! I had elective C section with DS2 in March, DS1 is 4 nearly 4. DH took 3 weeks off, and my mum also came to help. Have to say, we found it really hard. Poor DS1 expected to go out and get his regular dose of exercise (out to the local park on his bike/scooter). Of course, DH couldn't take DS1 out on his own, because I needed DH at home to look after me and DS2. Also, DS1 was still in nursery (still is) 2 days a week too. But once I'd got back on my feet, we had a lovely time bonding. Also make time for just you and your DC1 - this will give your DH and new baby special time on their own too. Your DC1 will love having you to his/herself.

Good luck anyway.

jabberwocky · 13/11/2007 02:56

I had an emergency section with ds1 and then elective with ds2. The recovery with the elective was so much easier and quicker! I was in the hospital for 5 days due to high blood pressure and my mother had come to help out after that. But, as things will happen, both my mother and dh got a terrible tummy bug just as I came home So I wound up taking care of me, ds1 and ds2 (I let them fend for themselves ) and it really was fine. However, since you are not yet pg, you might consider spacing it a little longer. Ds1 was 3 at the time. Not sure I could have done so well with a 2 year old.

Original poster

Tapster · 13/11/2007 11:17

Good to hear your stories. Got pregnant first month with DD at 35 but now 37 and feel under pressure to start ttcing as it will probably take longer. I do know its going to be tough those first few weeks I may well hire a postnatal doula to help. I only have MIL and my DH to help and MIL refuses to do any cleaning just cooking and is not great at entertaining DD but maybe she will get better as DD gets older.

DH keen to start ttcing now, I want to wait until after Easter - its usually the other way round isn't it!

OP posts:

sugar34plum · 13/11/2007 11:28

i have had 4 c sections 3 within 4 years. with 2nd one i had mrsa in my wound and still got sent home! I found recovery quicker and easier after having a spinal than a general. but i didnt like epidural left me with life long problems.

Have to say i had no-one to help in house but my mum did take all other dcs to her house for a week .Dh was self employed at time and was on deadline so had to work. I left hospital within 48 hours of my sections too.

Think it depends on the individual.

Egg · 13/11/2007 11:32

I am worried about this too as DS will be just under two when my twins are due in Jan/Feb. Had no idea you were advised not to push a pushchair if you have a c-section. How on earth do I get DS to nursery if I end up having one? I am having a post natal doula and DH will be here for a couple of weeks. Fingers crossed I wont need a c-section but I am hoping and praying that if I do I will not be unable to leave the house for 6 weeks on my own with the DCs . I was mainly worried about getting DS in and out of the bath etc.

cbcb · 14/11/2007 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Egg · 14/11/2007 17:07

Hi cbcb, we wanted the Nipper but it is too wide for our front door and for the door into DS's nursery, so decided on the Powertwin, with a view to trading it in for a Nipper when twins are older as we are only renting and may have a bigger doorway!

Why are you not on the multiples thread where we chat all day long????? Lots of twin and triplet ladies over there!

Sorry, hijack over

Flibbertyjibbet · 14/11/2007 17:27

16m age gap, csect for ds2 (large breech). I can't say that I did cope, I could hardly walk, ds2 fed about 20 hours a day for the first 6 weeks... no family help nearby... Dp is self employed so we were very skint for a few weeks. My parents took ds1 to stay Thurs am till Fri pm for the first 3 weeks, and my 75 year old mum came on the bus to help out the other afternoons. But it was sooo hard the other days not even being able to pick ds1 up to put him in his cot for a nap.
Your child will be older and able to understand instructions, feed herself etc so it won't be quite the same as having two who are still classed as babies. But still hard none the less!
I live on a very steep hill and was told not to push pram so was virtually housebound. Sorry to seem negative, I had it all planned out that I would have ds1 on reins and stroll up to the park (up the very steep hill) every afternoon as soon as I was out of hospital. Some women recover very quickly from a section but sadly I was not one of them.

Oh and I just have to RANT here, 3 afternoons I sat in, in tears after getting us all ready (which takes HOURS when you first go from 1 to 2!), waiting for the homestart volunteer who was supposed to come and push my pram up to the park. In a lovely heatwave as well, we don't have a garden and I've never forgiven them for leaving me to sit in depressed all afternoon when they were arranged to come and help me. Rant Over.
Its hard with 2 kids whether you have a section or not. Get all the help you can!

Unfitmother · 14/11/2007 17:30

I did; DH had 1 wwek off, Mum came for 1 week then DH did the next week. By that time I started to feel a bit more human.

Good luck!

magaddict · 14/11/2007 17:39

Hi - I did, and I got an infection which I put down to not resting sufficiently post op - I felt fine and was up and about and carrying on as normal with my baby and 2.5 yr old and about two weeks after baby was born started to feel really ill (and bleeding heavily) I had to go on a course of antibiotics and have almost total bed rest for a week, which was a nightmare. I know many people just get on with it, but it really does pay to try and recover properly - the infection had a knock on effect of making me feel really depressed for a week or two, when I just wanted to enjoy being a mum of two! Once I recovered I was fine, but do remember it is major surgery and it's easy to forget that when you have a toddler who wants to go out/have a cuddle etc!

cass66 · 14/11/2007 19:13

I had 2 emergency sections (reluctantly) with 2 yrs and 6 weeks between my kids. I don't remember being told not to push a pram after the birth, and I certainly did! Acually I was hanging out washing the day after I came home, 4 days after the section.

the best info I discovered was that you can drive after 4 WEEKS, not 6, as long as you check with your insurance company. At least that's what I did and it made a big difference to me, especially as we had just moved house and area and I wanted to keep in touch with my old friends, all of which I had met when pregnant with my first child.

And it was easier second time round, I agree with above posters, you are tougher!

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