TTC takes two

[VixFromThe6ix]

Hi mumsnetters,
My partner and I have been together 3.5yr and ttc #1.
I wanted to ask how much do you all involve your partner in things like tracking ovulation, temping, peeing on sticks, taking supplements, using tracking apps, testing, etcetcetc.
Reason I am asking is because my partner is very very supportive of me in all respects, and I talk to him about how I feel and my worries and when I am down. He is good with having to do the deed when I tell him LH is high.
Does he need to know about ovulation cycles, what dpo I am, how often I test? Or are there things I should keep to myself. Is it too much for me to expect him to know the details like pregnancy or PM's symptoms or that there are different types of vaginal discharge?
I guess what I'm asking is should some things stay between us girls so to say or is it fair that your partner knows exactly what you're going through, especially since ttc has been not easy on me physically or mentally.
Will he lose attraction or the wanting of sex if he knew alllll the details?
I hope it makes sense what I'm asking. Basically should I stay relatively high level or include him on alllllll the details.
Looking forward to your advice.

Depends. Does he want to know? Lol...you can talk to him about that. Every couple is different. He can be supportive without knowing EVERY little detail. I don't tell me partner about my CM and stuff like that. I mean, I don't find it necessary. You should talk to him about how "involved" he wants to be. Idk how else to explain it. 😂

Blimey, I didn't tell DH any of that. I reckoned he didn't need to know. But then, all the tests you can do these days weren't available when we were trying to conceive. I knew from physical signs that I was ovulating but didn't bother telling him, just jumped on him so he probably guessed . I didn't want to pressurise him I suppose. It took eleven months to conceive DC1, but we got there eventually.

Does he ask? If not then no.

Look at it from his point of view. At the moment you are just asking for lots of sex. Most men's Utopia.

Introduce ovulation tests, tracking temperature & dpo etc and it turns into pressure to perform. Which can be the biggest turnoff ever. It also takes away romance and spontaneity, turns it into a sperm donation process.

I wouldn't share unless specifically asked.

Tell him NOTHING! I mean this in the nicest way. From my experience and a few friends experiences. Men struggle with the pressure. I never let on how crazy I am with Poas... although he can probably guess with what gets ordered on Amazon each month. But generally leave some to the imagination. I always answer any questions he has honestly. (He often asks when we would know if we were pregnant) but he defo doesn't know the full story. And never knows exactly when the peak test is.

It depends on the couple. Some men don’t like the pressure and suffer with performance issues but some don’t. If you want that support, talk to him, then if he finds it too much pressure then dial back on it next time.

My husband knew when I was taking OPKs and he knew sometimes I’d take them throughout the month and sometimes when I noticed the oncoming signs of ovulation. Which he knew meant CM. Although I wouldn’t say to him that I had CM, more that I thought ovulation was soon. I think it’s pretty obvious when you’re doing OPKs as you’re ordering boxes of tests on Amazon and you sit in the bathroom for 5 minutes after you’ve flushed the toilet. Then if it’s a positive, go have sex. Then suddenly, you’re not in the bathroom for ages anymore and sex goes back to its normal pattern.

Even before TTC my husband would know when I started getting PMS symptoms as it would come at some point in those couple of days that I was having cramps. He would ask when I was planning on taking a pregnancy test/when I was due on and actually on our last cycle he made me take the test because I didn’t think I was pregnant. I didn’t tell him about the pinch-like cramp on my left side at 7dpo that I was convinced was implantation (it wasn’t) until after when I started my period and I was so upset that I told him why. Early pregnancy I had a lot of cramping, which is why I didn’t want to test and he made me, but I was really worried about the cramping and so needed to talk him about it. He went off goggling all the reasons that cramping in early pregnancy is normal while I felt a bit sorry for myself.

I tell dp very little! He'd think I was crazy! I track bbt (which he knows about) but I've kept OPKs a secret. He often asks when AF is due but that's about it.

Ok so sounds like across the board I shouldn't divulge the secrets of the female body too too much. Ok, makes sense.
I was just wondering if this would help or make it worse lol sounds like it would make it worse. And I understand but not been married before and trying for a baby I wasn't sure if there is that openness where he needs to know to better understand what I go through.
So fair enough, thank you everyone. I appreciate your responses. And I think I could have asked him, but to be honest I feel like he's that nice that he'd say sure tell me..and this might have been the case of be careful what you ask for lol
Thanks again, everyone... I guess this is why we have places like Mumsnet to share the details only we understand. 😊😊🥰