Onto 8th cycle and losing hope

[Rockape1992]

Hi all just thought I’d see if many others are in the same boat. Have been ttc for the past 7 cycles - onto 8th cycle in few days. Have DS aged 2.5 who we conceived on my first cycle (I know how lucky we are and I am so grateful to have him). Naively I thought number 2 would be the same but here we are... had bloods and ovulation confirmed, all hormones ok. So WHY hasn’t it happened? Every month I get my hopes up and every month I’m so bitterly disappointed I spend the day in floods of tears. On top of that I feel so guilty that I can’t enjoy the time I spend with DS as much as I should as I’m so preoccupied with ttc. It’s also affectig relationship with DH as he doesn’t understand why I can’t just relax about it and be positive. I feel totally emotionally drained, so so sad and scared what the future holds. I have convinced myself that the worst case scenario will inevitably be my fate. Anyone else? Anyone out there had their bfps after this length of time?

Seriously 8 months really isn't very long. You were very lucky to conceive so quickly the first time and so I understand why it's frustrating now, but it is extremely common to take around 12 months or more. Remember your egg is viable for about 12 hours a month! The odds of getting pregnant are actually surprisingly tricky! If after 12 months TTC you could see you GP but for now, what you're experiencing is very normal.

Thanks for responding @pheasantsinlove I know in the grand scheme of things it isn’t a long time but it feels like forever to me. I think that conceiving so quickly first time round has given me an expectation (realistic or otherwise) and now things are taking longer, I can only assume it’s because I now have some kind of fertility issue. I’m not being ungrateful and I know there are people much much worse off than me, but it’s all relative and I’m really struggling to manage the disappointment every month. I just wanted to know if there are people out there who have been in the same boat and gone on to get their bfps?

This is the problem when people (im included in this btw as with dd1 she was a surprise) get their bfp on their first/2nd month of trying. They then assume number 2 will be the same and when it doesn't happen as quick they panic. With us it took about 8/9 cycles to get pregnant with dd2 with a Mc half way through. But trust me 8 cycles is still classed as totally normal. Also everyone bangs on about it but stress really will be affecting it, try not to panic snd good luck!!!! X

@sarahc336 thanks for your reply hun, yes that is it in a nutshell. I feel total blind panic that there HAS to be a problem. Perhaps if DS1 had taken longer, I wouldn’t be so worried this time round. Think my age (I turned 35 in Jan) is also freaking me out as I feel like time is running out. We waited for a while before thinking about number 2 as I had an extremely traumatic birth and first few weeks and months with DS1 including PND but now I’m regretting waiting. It’s all I can think about and have convinced myself that it will never happen naturally or at all. Totally illogical I know, and writing this. Can hear how ridiculous I’m being but that doesn’t seem to help when AF turns up very month.

TTC 8 months rally does not mean you have fertility issues. On the occasions I conceived each time it took between 2 and 3 years. I ended up having ivf. I completely understand the anticipation and disappointment every month. But equally you must have done research into conceiving and although disappointing, you know it's normal. The most annoying anyone can say to you is relax, but in this case, you need to talk yourself down from panicking about what potentially could be nothing.

Op you sound just like me, I was 35 trying for dd2 also and was also panicking about age but it just took a bit longer than my surprise dd1. but also speaking to others I realised 8 cycles is actually classed as quite quick by some. When I was finally pregnant with dd2 I asked the midwife if I was now classed as high risk due to my age and she laughed and said of course not, your not actually that old for a pregnant women so apparently were not old 😂
I'd say enjoy your son, enjoy easing out if kick down etc, I'd recommend tracking cycles but just go with the flow and know when it's bound to be it will be x

@sarahc336 yes that sounds exactly like me. I’m a worrier by nature so this is exactly the sort of thing I’m bound to get myself into a state over. I feel like my age has snuck up on me and stupidly after having DS1 so quickly I assumed when we were ready for Dc2, it would just happen. I know there isn’t a concrete reason for getting so worked up about it yet but I’ve been googling things like secondary infertility and completely freaking out! If it can happen to others, why not me? I will try to take your advice and relax a bit but definitely easier said than done. It’s difficult to find distractions at the moment what with lockdown etc but still guess I’ll have to try. Thanks so much for your support and advice, it’s really appreciated