Myths about fertility and the pill

[HPrior]

I'm 34. By the time I get married (covid permitting), I'll be 35. I want to start ttc ASAP after getting married. Recently I've found friends giving me "advice" that I haven't asked for about stopping the pill now because it negatively affects fertility and telling me stories about people they know who couldn't get pregnant after being on the pill.

I have looked this up. Multiple times. Every reliable source I can access via the internet - NHS website, fertility clinic websites, reports from leading scientific studies, say unequivocally that there is no evidence that the pill has a long term impact on fertility. Statistically there is no difference in how many people conceive within a year if they have been on the pill compared with people who have only used barrier methods. There is some evidence that it can take a few months (NHS says up to 3 months) for your regular cycle to return after coming off the pill and then it should return to normal.

I have already tested this - I came off the pill and my cycle returned straight away - I had a period at the usual time a month later and have had 3 subsequent periods and have now decided to go back on the pill. I also did a hormone fertility test and all hormones were within normal range.

Yet STILL I have friends "advising" me that I should stay off it because they know someone who couldn't get pregnant because they'd been on the pill.

I suppose I'm sort of posting this to rant a bit and also to see if anyone else has had similar experiences with friends trying to be helpful but actually just giving them unnecessary anxiety about a problem I might have one day (a bit like I might get cancer one day- maybe my friends should tell me to worry about that too!). Also if anyone knows why so many people believe this myth that the pill negatively affects fertility - and it is a myth as far as I can deduce. And am I being unreasonable getting annoyed about this?

YANBU - people are full of advice about trying to conceive, lots of advice when you’re pregnant, even more advice when you have a baby. It’s very frustrating.

Personally I have fallen pregnant on the first cycle of trying both times (after coming off the pill). I’m the same age as you OP

Congrats on your wedding and good luck for when you start your TTC journey

I've known 3 people now in just a few years, just at work, that have fallen pregnant 'on the pill' (no doubt missed some). I think the people who do have trouble after coming off are probably few and far between.. you will always hear about the bad! I have newly come of the pill to start TTC this summer.

I got pregnant with twins one month after stopping at 31.

Every woman is different so it's really hard to extrapolate decent info. I had been on microgyonon for 14 years.

I think it's because the cause for subfertility is so often unknown and that's hard to accept, that people seek any explanation for why conception isn't happening for them. I suppose it's natural that the temptation is to blame the pill, just to have something to blame.
However in reality the truth is that the difficulty in falling pregnant would have happened regardless, or maybe the pill covered up the irregular cycles of PCOS. I often hear women say they had regular periods on the combined pill - well no you didn't, you had regular withdrawal bleeds purely because you stopped the pill for a week every 3 weeks. That's nothing to do with your natural menstrual cycles.

I mean they're wrong but also right. Being on the pill often hides other problems you may have - so at 34/5 you don't want to waste time waiting to discover if you have any problems and it would be better to come off the pill earlier to let your body regulate.

You say your cycle went straight back to normal and nothing is wrong - good for you but that's luck and not something to take for granted.

I'm on the post pill thread where so many ladies have had 100+ day cycles after the pill, suffered horrible post pill acne, higher TSH levels etc. GPs refuse to see them on the basis that they're normal post pill fluctuations and isn't a concern unless it continues past the one year mark.

Yanbu but likely it won’t be the only advice you get if you tell people you are ttc

@Spudbyanyothername

Yanbu but likely it won’t be the only advice you get if you tell people you are ttc

Haha it'll be the "just relax" that will drive you truly mental! Or - are you sure you should be having that drink/coffee?

My fried was on the pill for 10+ years and fell pregnant immediately after having her implant removed. Another friend is currently 13 weeks pregnant and fell pregnant after one month of stopping her pill which she was on for 8 years. I stopped my pill in January which I was on for 12 years and fell pregnant a month after.

I massively agree with @Juno231! I don't think contraception does lead to fertility problems but it does mask problems we could have developed since starting the pill.

Congratulations on the marriage and hope everything goes well when you start TTC!

Thanks for the responses. @Juno231 thanks for the response- yes I was relieved/grateful to see I didn't have any obvious issues. That doesn't necessarily mean I won't either - I just think it's insensitive for my friends to argue with me that I might have problems when I so far have no evidence that I will, just based on the fact some people have problems. I completely agree with the point that the pill masks problems and that is exactly what the NHS guidance says. I also made this point to one of my friends who again just retorted that their friend's GP had told them the problems may have been caused by the pill!

I just can't believe people have the audacity to give me uninvited advice and then argue with me when I reply with fact based responses that contradict their theories that are anecdotal and have no scientific basis.

Also there's the implication in all this that if I don't get pregnant easily it will be my fault for taking the pill and not their advice which is just a very unfair thing to do ie to make someone blame themselves for fertility issues!

@hprior I agree about the unwarranted advice. Weirdly that's fairly normal with TTC. People start making the most insensitive, awkward and personal comments/conversations and it's baffling. They also all seem to sort of assume you're clueless? I've had friends ask if perhaps I should try "one of those apps" that tell you when you ovulate.... I'm at the stage where IVF is on the horizon so now the TTC bingo has changed to "oh well my friend's dog's groomer's aunt twice removed was on the waiting list for IVF but then fell naturally". God help me!

@Juno231 sorry to hear about your difficulties and I hope it works out soon for you with IVF or naturally. I think perhaps sometimes people just don't know what to say so they say something insensitive. I think what people should realise is that unless they are actually a doctor (and probably a fertility doctor at that!) they shouldn't be dishing out clumsy advice based on anecdotes when it's not asked for. I'm not even TTC yet and I'm getting advice about how it's going to all go wrong - it's insane! I think the lesson from this thread is to try to ignore people, especially negative people.

I wonder is it because the pill is almost a first line solution for heavy/painful/irregular periods without the underlying cause being investigated when women are younger. These women come off contraception, often many years later when they want to conceive and are faced with their original issues again, be that PCO, endometriosis etc only to be told that they have to wait a year before investigations can begin...
If the problem was properly investigated to begin with rather than throwing pills at it, a lot of women could be better off

@Areallthegoodnamesgone that's very interesting - someone I know who took a while to conceive said she always had irregular periods before being on the pill and another person I know who also had problems had gone on the pill because of very bad skin. It makes sense both of these symptoms would be down hormonal irregularities of some kind.

Hi op,

I came off the pill early last year after 14 years. I am now cycle 15 and haven't conceived however I don't believe it's the pill. I was lucky that my periods came back straight away too. Many people get pregnant straight after coming off the pill, or being on it too.
I think it can take some peoples cycles a while to come back or regulate which obviously may make it a bit harder at first.
As I am having tests now, I said to the nurse 'well I have been on the pill a long time maybe its just taking its time to get back to normal!' she got really annoyed with me and said it was actually nothing to do with that and makes no difference at all, and it annoys her when people say it. Seeing as I was innocently saying it and feeling quite vulnerable she was bloody rude, but it does sound like it really isn't to do with the pill. I think it just takes time for some of us, whatever contraception we may have used.
People will tell you what you need to do, that you just need to relax and forget about it, and lots of other very annoying things, when actually they have no idea and everybody is different.
Good luck op x

@Lovebug06 we're in similar shoes! I'm cycle 16 and was on the pill for 14 years as well. Hope your investigations go well and swiftly. Keep pushing and badgering them as my experience is that they try to fob you off as often as they can.

@Lovebug06 that does sound quite rude of the nurse - I suppose the fact she reacted like that shows how widespread the myth of the pill affecting fertility is - she must be irritable at having to rebut it all the time. Thanks for your input that was really helpful and good luck with ttc.

All the responses have been really helpful and should make it easier for me to just brush any future unhelpful comments off knowing they are based on ignorance and anecdotes and not let them get to me and finish up anxious and then angry at them for making me anxious.

My sister managed to get pregnant on the pill twice. My other sister took 4 months to fall pregnant. And she had very irregular periods before the pill. I've been on the pill for 10 years and I've been TTC for 6 months.

@Juno231 oh it's so tough isn't it. Hope your okay. Yes I've been told I should have been referred to a fertility clinic even if my results are okay due to the amount of time. I just had a message from the receptionist saying 'no further action' and nothing else. I will push for referral after my period comes again. I needed to give myself a break mentally this month just gone.

@HPrior you could always say you have had advice on this and what you have planned is absolutely fine. They shouldn't be making you anxious as well. Good luck!