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Next steps, short on time and scared of regret

7 replies

Daisycat16 · 09/03/2021 16:33

Please be kind, I genuinely don’t know what to do and would appreciate supportive ears and advice. I also don’t want to sound completely insensitive as I am truly grateful for what I have already been blessed with. I have two children and we had thought about a third. Fell pregnant and at first I think I panicked about coping etc and felt hesitant. Then as the pregnancy grew I became super excited and really happy only to learn that at 16 weeks our baby would not have survived and sadly it led to a termination. The grief was immense as you can imagine along with guilt. I’m 39 and thinking it’s potentially now or never if we want to try and make it happen. Part of me thinks be grateful for your blessings and lay the idea to rest. I also worry about my age and I genuinely fret about being an ‘older mum’ and being ‘x’ years only when the child is ‘x’ ( I know life owes no one anything but the seed is planted in my mind). The other part thinks life is short and have no regrets. If I had a few more years to play with I could relax about it perhaps but knowing I don’t doesn’t help.

OP posts:
MissConductUS · 09/03/2021 17:30

I'm not sure exactly what to tell you, but I had my DC at 39 and 41 and it's worked out fine. I think having kids a little older is far more common these days. If you and your partner want a third now would be the time to try.

I'm so sorry about your loss, by the way.

Daisycat16 · 09/03/2021 17:43

Thanks @MissConductUS x

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MissConductUS · 09/03/2021 19:44

You're quite welcome, and good luck with whatever you decide.

I've just noticed your handle. I have a lovely cat named Daisy. Smile

tulips87 · 09/03/2021 20:12

@Daisycat16 my sister had her youngest at 40 and she never had the thought about being too old. She also talks about possibly adopting a baby in the future. (Adopting because she has awful pregnancies and doesn't think her body could cope with another).
Like pp said, it's much more common now.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do xx

MissConductUS · 09/03/2021 20:52

This is my sweet Daisy cat.

Next steps, short on time and scared of regret
Daisycat16 · 10/03/2021 19:33

Arghh super cute 🥰. We have a cat in the family called Daisy too.

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Daisycat16 · 10/03/2021 19:34

Thanks @tulips87

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