Please be kind, I genuinely don’t know what to do and would appreciate supportive ears and advice. I also don’t want to sound completely insensitive as I am truly grateful for what I have already been blessed with. I have two children and we had thought about a third. Fell pregnant and at first I think I panicked about coping etc and felt hesitant. Then as the pregnancy grew I became super excited and really happy only to learn that at 16 weeks our baby would not have survived and sadly it led to a termination. The grief was immense as you can imagine along with guilt. I’m 39 and thinking it’s potentially now or never if we want to try and make it happen. Part of me thinks be grateful for your blessings and lay the idea to rest. I also worry about my age and I genuinely fret about being an ‘older mum’ and being ‘x’ years only when the child is ‘x’ ( I know life owes no one anything but the seed is planted in my mind). The other part thinks life is short and have no regrets. If I had a few more years to play with I could relax about it perhaps but knowing I don’t doesn’t help.