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How to stop incessant child/baby chat from colleagues getting to me?

1 reply

Latecomer131 · 05/03/2021 18:41

We're coming up to month 12 of TTC with not even a hint of a positive pregnancy test. We're awaiting some final tests back, but it's looking like unexplained infertility, DH is turning 43 soon and I will be turning 37, so it's looking unlikely that it will happen for us.

I am part of a team of around 15 people who are mainly in their 30s and 40s and mainly women. I am starting to dread team meetings, etc. because I am sick to the back teeth of discussions about toddlers and babies that I cannot contribute to as it's not relevant to my life.

It got even more intolerable recently as a colleague who just went on her maternity leave (unknowingly) chose the same name for her DC that DH and I had chosen years ago should we have a child of that particular sex (yes, I know that no one owns a name, but it's a pretty unusual name and it felt like a big kick in the teeth).

I've started muting my team's WhatsApp group and getting out of team meetings and online socials where it's possible to do so, but I am a little worried about the negative effect that being seen as anti-social might have on my career. There's absolutely no way I would want to disclose fertility issues to anyone at work with, as why would I want to risk getting sidelined at work for a future pregnancy that will probably never happen?

If anyone else has endured similar, then I would be interested to hear your coping strategies.

OP posts:
cat8986 · 05/03/2021 19:13

I haven’t endured similar, but if I were in your position, I don’t think I could stay working in the same environment. For me, I want work to be enjoyable, and the people aspect plays a huge part in that. These are people you have to interact with more than your own family sometimes, and if anyone is causing you distress or anxiety, as drastic as it may be, I would be looking for another company to work for.

I couldn’t imagine there is any way of addressing it to so many people and to try and change everyone’s behaviour. They will likely feel the opposite to you and love working in a team where there are so many people they can confide in with baby stuff!

Is moving company an option? I would consider it for your own well being.

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