TTC baby #1 newbie

[Frandler]

Hi all ☺️

I've typed and retyped this post a couple of times.. I don't know if TTC is overwhelming me a bit 🤦🏻‍♀️

We've just started trying, first cycle, and I'm about 8-9dpo.

I just feel a bit exhausted, and driven myself crazy with constantly reading articles, checking to see if anyone's got the same symptoms as me and loads of POAS. I've been reading all sorts of contradicting information and It's all I'm thinking about! I guess quite rightly as it's a big thing to TTC!

What I was curious to know is does it get easier with each cycle? I'm fully expecting AF soon but there's still a bit of disappointment.. which is crazy because we've just started our journey. Is it normal to feel this way? X

Hi @Frandler

I don’t know if it’s normal, but I feel exactly the same way and almost wrote a very similar post earlier. I am three days into my second cycle, and had thought that at least once AF arrived I would manage to give myself a break from constantly obsessing about TTC until the fertile window but doesn’t seem to be working like that! All I can say is you’re not alone. I don’t think lockdown and working from home helps as it’s harder to distract ourselves from it!

I feel exactly the same! I'm 8-9dpo too of my 2nd cycle. I feel like there is so much info out there that I had no idea about. I also didn't realise you could monitor your temperature. Does anyone have anymore information on this?
@Frandler have you decided when you are going to test?

@Frandler I've been trying for baby #1 since July, I found the first 3 months the hardest. Constantly wondering am I or aren't I, is AF coming, squinting at tests etc etc. I found it especially hard when friends and family who started around the same time conceived quickly. I'm much more relaxed about it now, just DTD every other day and when it happens it happens! I always joke with DH that I almost wish we had an accident before we started as then the waiting for a BFP would already be done

Hi @Frandler 😊

We are ttc our first too, currently 5dpo in my 3rd cycle. I try not to test until af is due and keep busy in the tww, easier said than done 😂 it is disappointing to get a negative result so I’d rather not see it on a test if it’s going to be negative!

Wishing you all the best in your journey x

Hi @Frandler,

In the same boat as you ttc #1 and driving myself up the wall as well reading all different things. Doesn't help I only came off the pill first week of January so not really had much time to be able to track what my cycle is doing each month. Downloaded far too many period/ovulation trackers that give varying fertile windows so making my brain ache....

Not trying to fret about it as stress just won't help things but I'm getting a bit obsessive. I'm not planning on doing BBT or OPK tests as due to mine and the OH work schedules we DTD as much as we can (sorry tmi!) so I think it would just upset me knowing that I may have missed prime timing as it were. Fingers crossed for you x

Thank you all ladies! I definitely don't feel as alone in this as I did yesterday and I'm glad that we've all felt similar things!

It's just so overlwhelming! I kind of blame how we are taught at school about pregnancy and that it'll happen as soon as you don't use protection!

I'm going to test next week if AF doesn't beat me to it. Finger crossed we'll all find our feet or get some good news soon 🤞
X

I feel exactly the same and only month 1 in or trying to conceive; really did not expect it to feel like this, I dread to think how it must feel for those who have been trying for a long time; I’m petrified of how it will feel if still not conceived this time next year.

I defo agree lockdown does not help, as hard to be distracted and have other things to look forward too.

Anytime I think of the next few months the idea of being pregnant just hanging over my head.

Has anyone spoken to their partner about the feelings ? I’m pretty sure mine feels completely opposite and would brush it off as nothing if I mentioned it.

@Lou2021

I feel exactly the same and only month 1 in or trying to conceive; really did not expect it to feel like this, I dread to think how it must feel for those who have been trying for a long time; I’m petrified of how it will feel if still not conceived this time next year.

I defo agree lockdown does not help, as hard to be distracted and have other things to look forward too.

Anytime I think of the next few months the idea of being pregnant just hanging over my head.

Has anyone spoken to their partner about the feelings ? I’m pretty sure mine feels completely opposite and would brush it off as nothing if I mentioned it.

This is exactly how I feel too - I can’t imagine what it must be like for those who have been trying for a long time.

I sort of tried speaking to my boyfriend about it but his mindset is very different to mine. His advice was that I should just assume it won’t happen each month and then be pleasantly surprised if it does. I tried to explain what the 2ww is like, analysing every little thing as if it might be a symptom, but he just doesn’t really understand that. To be fair, I don’t know that I would really have understood it until I experienced it!

Hi ottie,

I briefly mentioned it without going into too much detail, and all I got was what will be will be; it will take as long as it takes. So yes defo different for the men most certainly, there not experiencing it the same as us! I’m doing the same thing, I had a slight Type period pain yesterday and of course first thing in analysing any other symptoms and wondering whether it’s implantation.

Let’s hope it gets easier for us all, it’s certainly a new experience, I don’t think it’s going to get any easier. I imagine once pregnant being worrying about everything going okay all the time and then once baby arrives whole feeling again.

@Lou2021 I completely agree. It must be so difficult for those who've been trying for a long time. I don't know where people get their strength from.

Lockdown hasn't helped at all! I'd usually be elbow deep with deadlines and commuting and probably wouldn't have time to dwell on things. Hopefully we'll be out of lockdown soon so we can see people and perk us all up a bit!

I'm lucky that my fiancé is quite understanding. He's the positive to my negative 🤣 but maybe sometimes a bit too optimistic and laid back. He doesn't think we should track my cycle or use OPK and 'just go with the flow'... yet he is probably more broody than me. He said I should talk to friends or family, but I don't want to let people know we're trying. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Lou2021 my partner is way more relaxed about the whole thing than I am, I'm sure he's sick of listening to me banging on about cervical mucus and ovulation tests 🤣 he gets confused that a line on an ovulation test doesn't mean positive like a pregnancy one, bless him.

We've been trying since July and no luck yet, I have super irregular cycles and don't think I always ovulate. He's very resistant to the idea that it's likely me who's stopping us getting pregnant, I keep telling him that it's not a bad thing and I don't feel down about it, just that as he already has a DC and I'm irregular etc it seems likely that I may need some help getting a BFP.

@Frandler I had the same thing about not wanting to tell people we were trying, but in the end I decided to tell just a few who I trusted: a friend who is also planning to TTC this year; another friend who’s had kids to ask for recent TTC advice; and my mum, as I wanted to know what her history was with TTC. I definitely felt better for telling them. Though I had to make mum swear she won’t ask me for news every time we speak - she agreed on the condition that I tell her as soon as there’s anything to tell!

My boyfriend is so laid back about everything he's almost horizontal, I think one of the hardest things is we spend so much of our lives trying not to get pregnant we almost expect it to happen overnight.

We decided not to tell anyone as there's been so many 'jokey' comments from friends and family about when are you having one that we couldn't stand the potential comments etc....

OH and I had the conversation about starting to try and told him 'well it doesn't happen instantly and could take a while' (especially as I'm 38) but in my head was the little voice of ooh but.... ah well 🙄

@Riverskye I was the same with my DP, he was like explain what it all means. Well I spent ages going on and on, he soon wished he hadn’t asked and doesn’t remember anything I told him. 🤣

@Crazybabylady14 I have the same problem he is so laid back - it will happen when it happens I don’t think they understand that it’s not that simple. If he tells me to relax one more time I think I’ll go crazy. We haven’t told anyone apart either as I can’t be dealing with comments and questions it’s hard enough in my own head!

Although I did catch him the other day checking his temperature which was hilarious. I was like what are you doing, he said I was just comparing 🙈

@frandler I felt exactly the same way as soon as I stopped the pill - every symptom had me on google! Then I got my withdrawal bleed and could chill out. I'm just finishing my first proper cycle and I'm more relaxed this time round but only because I'm pretty sure we missed the window 🤦‍♀️

@lou2021 I know what you mean about imagining the next few months as if you're pregnant! And then there's next year... A big chunk of my work is seasonal, and thanks to covid I'm expecting next summer to be busy for the first time since 2019, so I'd really prefer to have a winter baby! That means we need to get on it!

@lou2021 My DH and I are both ready to start a family but he's prepared to admit his terror whereas I'm in denial 😀

I did insist on a serious discussion this month about DTD - I made it very clear that skipping a whole month of trying because he's tired that week was unacceptable! We're going to be more proactive about sharing responsibility in future, and I'll be sharing waaaaay tmi about my cycle with him so that he is fully involved.

@Frandler - I feel as I want to talk to friends and family about it but at the same time I don’t want the added pressure of them knowing we’re trying.

@Riverskye - I think mine is fed up of me talking about it too! We spoke about it so much for hours before I stopped the pill, I think now he dreads the conversation, or just cannot relate to how I feel. But I find strange as he was the one who is more broody and more for it.

@taytay2020 with general life of pandemic things are certain enough already aye! Hopefully it happens at the right time for you

Is this just wishful thinking?? 😬

@crazybabylady14 Ooh I'm no expert but I can certainly see a faint line. Have you got another test you can try in the morning? Fingers crossed for you!

Hi @taytay2020 this was a cheapie Superdrug as due AF tomorrow but on an early work shift so thought what the hell. Will try a CB in a few days. Only second month of trying as old (38) and just come off pill so wasn't expecting anything.

Basically just wondered if I had squinters eye!

@Crazybabylady14 there’s defo a line there, can see it without squinting! Good luck for the CB!

Thanks @Bellesjp, keeping fingers crossed 🤞

Hello all!
We’re TTC for the first time and on cycle one and I’ve been reading thread after thread and feeling more baffled every time 😂
Glad to read a thread where everyone is at the same point as me and feels the same! I’m 9DPO and although I know I don’t have any symptoms (and I’m not sure I’d recognise them tbh!) I’m still somehow on the hunt for them.
I’m optimistic that we could be lucky soon but also realistic that it could well take longer. It’s all consuming and I didn’t expect to think about it as much as I do!

Well this was the CB....